One Night Stand Advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by blackbirdbeatle, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    So a girl whose 18 has a one night stand with a stranger in his early 20's (I'm 24, think 20 or 21). The guy finds out what her number is and texts her the next day. They end up fucking a few more times (They don't go on dates she is now a booty call only spending a few hours together) and this is where we are in the story. The girl thinks that there could be something in this because he is spending time with her.

    My opinion is that she gave it up the first night, this guy isn't in very good shape or particularly attractive, no good job, and figures that this is an easy lay so he hangs out with her. He can't really do better because she's pretty good looking, big boobs, etc... what most 20ish guys want. This girl is in my extended family and I want to tell her what is on a guys mind when they are in this situation but I don't want to freak her out. There also might be guys that really do want to get to know the girls that fuck strangers but I've never seen it.

    She has a history of having sex with people either right when she meets them or very soon after. She has never had any serious relationships or even something lasting longer than a few weeks. From what I hear she has slept with her best friends boyfriend, among other guys in relationships. She comes from a very stable family that never was too controlling but obviously something went wrong. None of their other 3 children were like this. The parents never freaked out when they had sex as teenagers but they all did (do) it in relationships. Doesn't help that her friends are all idiots and terrible influences.

    She doesn't drink much but when she does this always happens. She says that she just wants a boyfriend and that she hates it when she drinks and does these things. I believe her that she kind of loses control when she drinks. Her dad had a drinking problem as well but did the right thing and quit before he had kids. Of course she's full of shit in that she's putting herself in these positions but she's family and I still want to give her some advice in the least pushy way.

    I want to tell her that she's naive for wanting something meaningful when she gives it up so easily. That guys that age are only contacting her after because it's easy tail for them. They leave when they are bored and she is left wondering why. I mean she's got a good head on her shoulders apart from sex and relationships. She does well in school, has a steady job, etc...


    Thanks for the advice.
     
  2. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    She likes sex, shes giving you guys the excuses as to why shes having it.

    :dunno:

    Who gives a fuck, she likes to fuck let her fuck.
     
  3. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    Let her throat and asshole swell up.
     
  4. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2008
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    Got her number?

    j/k.

    If she's got a good head on her shoulders like you claim, she should figure it out eventually... She's only 18, you gotta sow your wild oats at some time. The trick is to do so without getting preggors or contracting diseases.
     
  5. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    Is she okay with living her life the way she is (and her life seems rather normal)? And is it you and the extended family that takes issue with her choices and seems to think that she somehow isn't the one making it. That she's somehow naive to the fact that guys are calling her for some ass? Takes 2 to fuck, you might not like her doing it, but she sure seems to.
     
  6. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ya but it's not healthy the way she's doing it. I have no problem with sex or having flings. She rarely uses condoms because she's on birth control and that's incredibly stupid in one night stands. Her behaviour has left her with permanently damaged relationships with her friends that she's fucked over, friends she's known since she was 4. She's starting to strain the relationship between her and her parents because everyone realises that she eventually going to catch something or end up in a bad situation from constantly picking up strangers in bars. She's had two or three friends drugged and one date raped from a similar situation. he was kind enough to drop her off at the hospital after he was done with her (When she pissed and shit herself and started bleeding he probably realised the hospital was the best thing to do). :rolleyes:

    And she keeps bringing up how bad she feels after and that she just wants a boyfriend. She gets in a funk for a while after the guy ditches her. I have seen her try to set up real dates and stuff with these guys but it never works out. Maybe I should just outright call her on her shit like you said. But on the off chance that she really is just screwed up in terms of relationships, how can I knock some sense into her without coming across as overbearing?
     
  7. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    she very well might find what she is looking for
     
  8. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    Yeah a one way ticket to the abortion clinic.
     
  9. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    :h5::wtc:
     
  10. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    "The conduct and manners of women, in fact, evidently prove that their minds are not in a healthy state; for, like the flowers which are planted in too rich a soil, strength and usefulness are sacrificed to beauty; and the flaunting leaves, after having pleased a fastidious eye, fade, disregarded on the stalk, long before the season when they ought to have arrived at maturity."
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2009
  11. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    For sho'

    Was that early psychology or some witty writer like Wilde?
     
  12. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    Early feminist writer Mary Wollstonecraft
     
  13. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    Early feminists were rad. The field is kind of a joke now.
     
  14. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    Basically. Save for a handful.

    But I'm not well versed enough in the area to speak.
     
  15. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    27,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lexington, KY
    She probably should go see a therapist. There is probably an underlying issue that she needs to deal with.
     
  16. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    First I have to convince her that what she's doing is wrong. Like I said, she can have all the sex she wants if it's safe and she doesn't expect anything from the guys after. But she isn't safe, she does seems to expect something after, as if sleeping with them will make them like her as a person, and she doesn't have a huge amount of self esteem usually needed to be in the situations she is in.
     
  17. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    27,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lexington, KY
    Have you talked to her about this? If nobody in your family has talked tao her about it, then you guys need to man up and do that. And if you feel like something is wrong with her, she does need to go seek therapy. Which going to won't hurt her one bit as even though there may not be an issue with her having sex all the time, there is still other things that she could get feedback on, or just someone to lend an ear.

    If she won't listen and won't go to therapy, then ultimately she will find out for herself how dangerous she is being. Sadly most people with destructive behaviors won't stop or don't feel the need to stop until it is too late and they hit rock bottom. She will need to want to stop for herself, rather than someone telling her she needs to.
     
  18. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    She'll be fuckin' her therapist next.
     
  19. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    16,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York Shitfaced.
    Honestly this makes me sad being with someone who learned that the hard way too.

    No girl should have to abort a child and an engagement at the age of 19 (much less ever).
     
  20. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    A former friend got a chick pregnant at age 19. She was religious and so her dad held a shotgun wedding. They kept the baby, got divorced a year later, and now he never sees the kid and is a terrible father. Of course she is a terrific person and pays for everything herself so there is hope for the kid.
     
  21. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    7,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    you jealous?
     
  22. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    No, not really. I could probably go to the bars she goes to and pick up many of the girls her age there (The meat market bars). I'm older, I'm good looking, and I have my own business. I go out and have fun all the time but I also have the advantage of not reacting to alcohol like her, I'm a 6'1" 190lb male so I doubt many people want to slip something in my drink and rape me, and I practice safe sex all the time. Oh, and I'm not a dumbass 18yo.

    I'm not trying to stop her from having sex, I'm very liberal with sex. I'm trying to make sure she's smart about it and to teach her about the realities of what she's expecting from guys after she fucks them within 20 minutes of knowing them. In other words, maybe try to get to know a guy first instead of giving it out like it's on sale and then being mopey for a week after they're tired of you.

    And it bugs me so much because we're family and close. Try as I might, it's too hard to just sit there and not care. I want her to learn from the mistakes I've made and what I've seen.
     
  23. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX

    I think the best advice is to research or write up your own fake horror stories about getting date raped/kidney sold on the black market/ sold into prostitution over seas. practice these horror stories in front of a mirror/friends/audience for at least 8 weeks. You need to focus extremely hard on your facial expressions, fake crying, and your hand gestures. When you can convincingly sit down and talk with this young lady, start into one "real life" story and continue on to the next one and then the one following the previous story. You will laugh together, you will cry together, you will hold each other, you will sit awkwardly with each other but if you have done your job right......











    ?????





    profit?
     
  24. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    One Night stand advice?

    Fuck her than leave.
     
  25. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hmmm... I was just going to talk to her but this is very good advice also. I've already talked to her a bit, not even close to where I want and she already deleted me from her facebook lol. Maybe I should just bang her friends and then not call any of them because we live next to each other and they're always around and have crushes on me. :mamoru: That's a good life lesson in a guys point of view on girls in one night stands who expect relationships.
     

Share This Page