One last chance with me estranged wife

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Saryon, Jan 3, 2007.

  1. Saryon

    Saryon New Member

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    Long time lurker :hs: but I'm looking for some serious advice. My wife of 8 years and I want to try one last time to make things work. We have been separated for a year now and I would like to plan a romantic evening. We live in a small college town and usually on the weekend it's over run with students. I think I have a hotel room with hot tub :naughty: booked for this Friday night. My problem is I have never really developed any social skills with women because we were married when we were 19 and am having trouble coming up with ideas. She has suggested bowling, movie or a nice dinner here in town but none of that seems attractive to me.

    So OT, I am here to ask for your ideas. What would you have me do for the last big hurrah of my marriage?
     
  2. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    this does not answer your question, but this is the opposite view point for you to consider.

    playing devils advocate here, you say you have never developed social skills. If you have already been seperated for over a year, maybe you should not try to get back together with her and take time to develop social skills.

    had to give you the opposite viewpoint
     
  3. Saryon

    Saryon New Member

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    Appreciated. We have a 2 year old daughter that I would like to see more than every other weekend. Granted that is no reason to stay with someone you are not sure about, but it sure makes ya think...
     
  4. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    If you are expecting one date to get her back into you you have already failed. Re-game her as if you had just met. You need to get her attracted to you again.
     
  5. Mizzark

    Mizzark OT Supporter

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    Agreed. There has to be something that you both loved to do when you first started dating. If you're trying to get back together, doing activities that don't allow you to talk are a bad idea. Dinner is good. I would suggest either a new restaurant, or one that means something special to both of you.
     
  6. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    What about a romantic dinner at the hotel? Cook before hand, something that will remain hot or you can heat up right before you take her there. Do the candles and stuff, the whole romantic thing.. That will give you an opportunity to talk. If the hotel room has a VCR, maybe rent a romantic movie or one of her favorite's to throw in to cuddle to.
     
  7. [DWI]

    [DWI] Master of Nothing

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    Separated for 1 year. This isn't time for a hotel with Jacuzzi tub leading to sex type of date. This is the time where you start everything at square one again and approach this with a first date mentality. One date will not fix what went wrong (heck no date will do that, but that is something you will have to work out at some point later) the stakes of the date are not you are done for ever or you are back together. The stakes are it goes horribly and you are done forever or it goes well and you get a second date and a third date and so on, just like it was at the start.
     
  8. ass_kicker32

    ass_kicker32 New Member

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    What city? If its San Francisco or Los Angeles, I have a bunch of ideas for you
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Have you guys looked into counseling?

    Here's what I'm thinking...if you guys had problems in the relationship before, how is just starting over going to fix things? Wouldn't those problems come up again?

    A magic date will fix nothing. You're going to have to identify the problems you have or had, come up with strategies to deal with them, THEn you can think about starting things up again.
     
  10. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    A relevant question that hasn't been asked here:

    Is it your wife pushing the idea of getting back together or is it you?

    If it's her, there may be hope; otherwise this does not look good.

    Also going to agree that getting in her pants isn't really the most productive thing to be focusing on right now.
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    This whole thread concept is crazy, in my opinion.

    If you just want to fuck her, then sure dinner and a hotel room with a big hot tub. The problem is that you are treating her like a high priced escort. Is that really what you want?

    Sounds like to me you know what you really want - you want to learn to develop some social skills, repair the relationship, and get back into a relationship with her. How do you do that? Well, you've got a lot of research and reading to do.

    I would recommend you go read this recent post:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2968343

    Then consider hitting some of these links:
     
  12. Saryon

    Saryon New Member

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    Thanks for all the suggestions folks! We decided to call it quits however this evening. Looks like I have some reading to do none the less.
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    keep it positive, it was probably for the best man that you go your own seperate ways
     
  14. Saryon

    Saryon New Member

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    Sleep apnea was the root cause. Rather the effects of it. That and a HUGE communication issue.
     
  15. buttram

    buttram New Member

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  16. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    the hot tub room, like everyone said, is an absolutely terrible idea. cancel that.

    do not appear to want sex at all.
     
  17. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I couldn't agree more. Don't just jump back into the way things used to be and have sex with her immediately. Start over from the very beginning. I wish you the best of luck.
     
  18. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    holy thread ressurection
     
  19. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    So...Because you snored, things ended????
    Sorry but That is so lame.
     
  20. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I don't know, my husband is snoring next to me right now and it's more than a little annoying :mad: :mamoru:
     
  21. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    2 words: Marriage/couple's Counseling
     
  22. Saryon

    Saryon New Member

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    Uh, yeah, snoring.

    How serious is sleep apnea? It is a potentially life-threatening condition that requires immediate medical attention. The risks of undiagnosed obstructive sleep apnea include heart attacks, strokes, impotence, irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure and heart disease. In addition, obstructive sleep apnea causes daytime sleepiness that can result in accidents, lost productivity and interpersonal relationship problems. The severity of the symptoms may be mild, moderate or severe.
     
  23. Saryon

    Saryon New Member

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    We were married when we were 19. That's probably the biggest problem. Things have been "ok" lately. We don't fight but we only see each other once or twice a week. We usually talk via IM almost every evening.
     
  24. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I really hate it when people use age as an excuse. :hs:
     
  25. jotti

    jotti New Member

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    For the sake of your daughter -- make this work damnit!!

    Especially easy because both parties are willing! Pull yourself together!
     

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