Once again, just some reassurance/advice..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by knucks, Aug 4, 2008.

  1. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Well things are going well with this new girl I met. We have a lot in common, can talk for hours...so I'm happy regarding everything..

    Anyways, I am confusing myself in when to call / how often to keep in touch with her. We've been on 2 dates so far, have talked a few times in between. Before the 2nd date I didn't talk to her much and only called to schedule the, well, 2nd date, but she always has wanted to talk. She has always told me to call her. Now, usually I would not have an issue with this but she did tell me one thing on our first date when we got to talking about other stuff:

    She was seeing this guy Jack, and actually had plans with him the night we went out, but decided to cancel on him to see me. I asked her why, she told me he was very clingy and always wanted to hang out, and it was annoying her. On our second date she told me that things between us are good, that she is not the type of girl to be seeing more than one guy at a time (or if she was, she'd let all those involved know..), and that she was going to take Jack out of the picture.

    Anyways, back to the calling thing..I don't want to call a lot so that I am not like Jack..and me being me, I would love for her to call me more than I call her, but that hasn't happened. I did text her Saturday late-night to see how her night went, but never got a reply...I know she was celebrating her friends birthday all weekend and so she was out and about, drinking and whatnot, so I did not bother calling her yesterday. Obviously people forget to reply to texts or just never notice them, even I have done that.

    I am going to call her this afternoon.

    I guess this is somewhat of a rant, but in general, do I somewhat disregard what she told me about Jack, since she tells me to call her? Whenever we talk, if we don't talk for long, or if one of us has to jet-off to do something, she has always told me "Call me later."

    One of the things she has also told me is that she tries to avoid calling people so that she doesn't come off as being desperate/clingy herself...(which makes me kind of think that if I were to tell her to call me more, she'd have no issue with that)

    Cliffs: Girl told me the last dude was too clingy, tells me to call her, I'm confused. I equate calling with clingyness :hsd::hs:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So don't be clingy :dunno:

    Most likely she likes you more than Jack though and it wouldn't even matter if you called a lot. Jack probably called 2-3 times a day; don't do that and you'll be fine.
     
  3. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    To be honest, I don't even want to call that much...
    Thing is, right now I feel like I can talk to her about anything and everything, we're both really random in thoughts..if I am to be talking about something, she's able to take, say, 1 word from my sentence and use that for a new conversation or fact or whatever. I can do the same.. (hope that makes sense, lol)..so this leads to long conversations, which I sometimes don't have time for and would much rather do in person...

    Meh, I think things are great between us..I spoke with her Friday night and she asked me how NYC was (she thought I left already), I told her that I won't be gone for another week, during which I was planning to see her. She told me "Oh good, that makes me happy." :wiggle:

    Damn I overanalyze too much :(
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yes, you do :rofl:

    Keep up the good work. I also agree talking a lot on the phone (while great because of your good convo's) is better suited for great, long dates.
     
  5. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    But back to what I said..I think if I told her to call me, she would..I told her to drunk dial me Friday night and she did...eh, maybe I'll tell her that to appease myself :rofl:
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    There is no secret recipe for when to call, how often to call, etc.

    The key to this whole thing is to have enough stuff going on in your life that you CAN'T call her everyday.

    The moment you start sitting around wondering if you are calling her too much, just means that you don't have enough stuff going on in your life at that moment and you need to get more things going on.

    The idea is to have your own life, do your own thing, and then call her whenever you have the time to call her.
     
  7. stonesthrow

    stonesthrow Grand puba and dattie, ridin shotty in the maserat OT Supporter

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    why dont you just tell her

    "you constantly want me to call you but you don't want a guy that comes off as clingy... are you fucking retarded?"
     
  8. stonesthrow

    stonesthrow Grand puba and dattie, ridin shotty in the maserat OT Supporter

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    except word it for real life
     
  9. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Calling is not clingy, directly. Calling three times per day is.

    Give her a call once a night to say good night, tell her to call you sometimes, and sometimes don't call. Who cares?

    edit: This Jack fella seems to be putting a shitty thing on you guys, or more you. I'd be VERY skeptical.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 4, 2008
  10. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Yeah I got a little weirded out by that, but then again I was glad to be in the know regarding that...

    I called her in my lunch break, we're going to go out on Wed.

    She sounded excited to talk to me. Said, "I feel like we haven't talked in forever, and it's been less than 2 days."

    I told her to call me later tonight, we'll see how that works.
     
  11. Timer

    Timer Guest

    If she calls, your game man. No worries, don't overanalyze. It used to KILL me, once I stopped I've been in an amazing relationship since :wavey:
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    this is why you need to be seeing multiple chicks

    if you had 2 or 3 or 4 you were seeing, you wouldn't be focused on this at all
     
  13. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    you're in. and not that i know the situation at all really... but i wouldnt worry about jack
     
  14. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Eh, I don't have any I am seeing on a constant basis or anything..but I definitely am not holding myself back when I go to Canada or anywhere else..
     
  15. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Remember oen thing, until you two are official, she can be out having fun. Getting around? Hmm...that's up to your discretion. I think it's okay until exclusive, but it MUST stop then.
     
  16. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    A little past midnight and still no call. My assumption is that she isn't calling.
    I'm going to try not calling her tomorrow and see what happens.
     
  17. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    :bowdown:

    maybe not what you want to do, but the key point to take from this is to not focus on it

    don't dwell on when to call, if she is going to call - be active in your life in things beyond this girl and call her if/when you have time
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    "Give her the gift of missing you."


    I remember that saying every time I want to do something clingy.
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you are going to have to ignore her/blow her off for awhile

    it sucks, but otherwise she is going to lose even more interest

    i see a pattern with you:

    you meet a girl, she likes you a lot and her interest is high, then you shower her with attention and she loses interest
     
  20. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Ain't that the truth...
    It's like I have 2-3 dates, and after that it all goes to shit :rofl:

    I have school starting soon, welcome week, parties...not like I'm looking for anything serious right now..still is disheartening when that happens.
     
  21. Timer

    Timer Guest

    How do you shower women with attention? I'm curious.

    Calling is not clingy, under most circumstances. LDR? Definitely call. Near each other but not dating? Call to make plans.

    It's girl to girl man.
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    he mentioned they "can talk for hours"
     
  23. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I think you are taking her words too seriously when she says to call her. It sounds like that's just something she says at the end of the conversation, like "ok goodnight, call me tomorrow". Call her when you want to call her or when you say you will, not when she tells you too. Telling someone to call you at a certain time or day is pretty pointless unless there is a specific reason to. Maybe that person didn't feel like talking then or was busy. Ignore the call me later stuff and call her when you want to (as long as it isn't excessive).
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    chick logic :squint:

    Definitely "call me" wouldn't mean "call me." I mean "call" is a specific verb so it makes sense that its use would be something completely different from what it actually means.
     
  25. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Well yeah I never completely thought about the call me, but whatever.

    She was supposed to have gotten back to me regarding tonight's plans, I told her to make sure it wasn't much later than 4pm. I'm bothered, but I'm moving on at this point and cutting off contact with her. I don't know what went wrong, I did not see any signs to things going shitty, but I really don't care for the reasons anymore. Apparently, she's not worth it.
     

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