Old relationship still bothering me (long story)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Boosted98gsx, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. Boosted98gsx

    Boosted98gsx Active Member

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    I need to get this into the open. This is gonna be long, sorry.

    So I started dating a girl from my second semester senior year in HS. After we started the relationship we had the "going away to college" talk. We understood the tribulations it would cause but decided to try it anyway. After 6 months, we had begun our long distance relationship. I was going to Texas Tech, her to Baylor. Winter rolls around and I am getting fed up and stressed out with class and not seeing her more often, and every little thing she said was an excuse for me to get angry. I was fishing for a way out because it was hurting (she had also been to a couple parties, gotten drunk and kissed some guys, yea, she was immature).

    We broke it off around Christmas. Took a couple weeks for the loneliness to sink in and so we decided to get back together on Valentines day. After that, it was pretty smooth sailing. Never had any big arguments, but saw each other only once or twice a month, but the distance was killer.

    I finished up my first year of college, and decided that not only was I too far from her, I was too far from home, Houston, and decided to move back and spend some time at UH. Things went much better. We were closer, and had more time together.

    Things in my family weren't going great. My parents were about to break up, after 20 some odd years of marriage. My mom "wasn't happy" yadda yadda, and after the divorce, they sold my childhood house in Houston, split things 50/50 and parted. Dad moving to Kemah, mom moving to DFW (Arlington). This was over the span of about a year, and i the meantime, my brother and I finished a year in UH, and hearing upon the moving of our mom to Arlington, decide to go to UTA.

    Final decision for me moving was her. I would once again be closer, within 100 miles. Unforeseen consequences of my parents splitting up was a lack of funding, so a job was needed to be had. I began waiting tables. This put a huge strain on my relationship, which was going on its third year. Even when she came up to see me, because I got stuck with some SHITTY shifts at the job, it was next to impossible for me to get off enough time for her. After 9 months of that, I folded. During the next three months, she and I had a lot of fun. Spent almost every weekend together and lived it up with one another.

    Over the summer I started working again at Best Buy. With little time for her, it started straining us. I spent too much time to myself, started a PC gaming addiction, since it was all I could do in my spare time to ease my aching feet, which carried over into our time together (which i still kick myself for).

    During these almost four years, she and I had remained obstinate, resolving to have our relationship be more than about just sex, an emotional bond, and friendship between partners so strong, that sex wasn't necessary, and it wasn't. We fooled around, and went practically every which way minus intercourse, and found out a lot about ourselves and each other. It was a magnificent feeling to know that I had lived for 22 years not having to succumb to a primal human activity that had turned most of my high school peers into deviants.

    On my 22nd birthday, however, she felt the need to attempt to seduce me into us losing our virginity with one another. Being mislead into thinking this was her wanting to share every bit of herself with me out of pure devotion, I gave in. Barely able to penetrate, we gave up, mostly because she was not relaxed enough for me (not a small guy), and the grimace on her face almost made me flaccid.

    Turns out, she did so because she felt our relationship was teetering, and wanted something else for us to do, and look forward to.

    We get through our fourth anniversary, and spring break roles around. She had just gotten finished with her mid terms for her senior year, and was going to go for an interview in Denton at Texas Women's for her Masters in Psychology. After previously staying up all night studying for a friday test, she drives to my apartment, and proceeds to go to her interview wired up, and neurotic from lack of sleep and stress the following day. Needless to say it didn't go well, and that didn't help her demeanor the rest of the week. I tried to get her to relax, read a book, and go to sleep to get her to calm down, but all she wanted to do was bother me.

    I did what I still regret to this day doing, and asked her to leave. I had never done that before but I couldn't take the amount of stress she was attempting to place on me from her inability to cope with her own actions.

    I spent the next couple weeks fighting with myself over whether or not to end it. In the end I went to Waco to see her and tell her personally that I think it was time for us to move on. We both cried in each others arms, but understood that it was time, and we needed some time to grow up away from each other, with the standard, make-each-other-feel-comfortable sayings about how the other person was the best thing to happen in our lives, and that we would reserve the future for relationship possibilities.

    She graduated in June and took a vacation to Italy. Not three months after we had broken up, I was pained to discover she was already attempting a relationship with some other bloke, instead of taking time to analyze herself like we had discussed. I have remained single, minus a 2 month fling with some chick, since.

    As far as I know, since I haven't talked to her in forever, she is still dating this guy. He is some law student who is going to Baylor (and lives in DFW), while she is going to college at UH in Clear Lake.

    Before assumptions are made, no there was no prior relationship, to my knowledge, before we had broken up.

    So, instead of stepping back, and looking over herself, she jumps onto another branch and begins another long distance relationship.

    Here comes my confession. I went through 4 or 5 months of SERIOUS depression during the summer after we broke up because it burdened me that I was replaced so quickly. I kept telling myself it wouldn't last, but kept making it worse because I knew the password to her e-mail account and was cyber stalking her. I know, bad me, and I am sorry.

    Took me a couple weeks reprieve from work, and some serious busying of myself to finally get my brain back in order, AND I DID IT WITHOUT MEDS THANK YOU! I worked on the car a LOT, replaced some parts that needed work. Finally set aside some money to upgrade my turbocharger and fuel system, and focused on school.

    It has been almost a year and a half since we have broken up, and I don't want to think it's just an excuse, but being forced to end something so great because she would be exiting my life and over 250 miles away, I still have a bit of guilt waning on me, and it causes me to wake up after my subconscious places me in awkward situations of confrontation with her.

    So what I am looking here from you guys is some help. I have all but gotten over her at this stage in my life, with the exception of the occasional early morning rude wake up call. I have tried the rebound thing, didn't work.

    As far as I can tell, the only way for me to truly get over her, is to find something that means more to me than she did. I don't know, maybe posting this out in the open is what I have needed. The full story in truth.

    Thank you for baring with me.
     
  2. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    it sounds like you guys just grew apart, which is perfectly normal with your situation.

    you shouldnt feel any guilt about the break up, you guys both had grown apart, and that is the reason it needed to end. thats normal, and its good that you both realized it before cheating and heartbreak happened.

    you were together for a long time, and this relationship with her spanned some pretty serious times of your life, so it makes sense that its not easy to get over.

    remember why you decided to end it. and remember that she moved on long too long after. maybe it was the best decision for you guys, and it might just take some time to accept that and be ok with it
     
  3. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    You need to get over your jealousy. You broke up with her. Go find someone else and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Stop talking to her and definitely quit reading her email :ugh:. She's moved on. Now it's time for you to.

    Honestly I'm surprised she didn't break up with you. Abstinence is cool and all but after a while relationships need a bit more than that. It's human nature, not "deviant" behavior :hsugh:
     
  4. Boosted98gsx

    Boosted98gsx Active Member

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    Abstinence wasn't my idea, it was hers, and I only read her e-mails once.
     
  5. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    Girls who are used to be in a relationship can't hold it together being single. It's not your fault that she moved on so quickly. You have to understand girls will be with a guy for various reasons and it's not always love.
     
  6. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    Pretty much.
     

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