old girl, friend started texting me tonight

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ww_Crimson, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Quick Background:

    I worked with this girl for a year or so, we hung out a few times and I was interested in her. She knew I was but things never really developed between us. She always got really shy when I tried getting close / intimate with her (never got past hugging her) and it made me feel like she wasn't interested so I moved on past her.

    She was gone from my job by this time and I didn't really talk to her for a while. We started talkin again after I saw her at school one day and I tried to give things another shot. I met up with her after class one day just to talk for a little bit and another time to give her a hand with some homework but then when I tried setting things up for us to go out and do something fun she flaked on me and never called back. Was no big deal to me because I kind of expected it.


    Current:

    It's been about 4 months now since I spoke to her and she texted me tonight saying she's been thinkin about me a lot and misses me. She's out of state right now but wants to meet up with me when she gets back. I asked her why she decided to text me out of the blue after flaking on me and 4 months of not saying shit. She apologized profusely and just said things would be different this time. At this point I told her I'd like to meet up with her but I don't really expect anything to happen because of her track record. She basically just apologized a few times and said she misses me a few more times.

    A little bit later into the conversation she hinted towards the fact that she is trying to move out of her house and asked if I would be interested in getting a place with her. I told her I have no intentions of moving out because I'm doing fine living with my parents still. I asked her if the only reason she contacted me was to find a room mate but she said "no I just asked because you were saying how you are really comfortable around me". Seemed like a legit answer but I don't know for sure. I've got trouble trusting women because of a few past experiences, but either way I have zero desire to move in with this girl.

    We've been talking pretty casually for about an hour now but does the Vag think I should even waste my time on this one? I don't have many other options going for me right now but should I even see if this girl has actually changed? She's cute, fairly intelligent, and works/goes to school.. All qualities that I'm having trouble finding in other single women right now.
     
  2. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    given her track record I'd just relax and see what happens. Don't emotionally invest yourself or waste effort on her - you had decided she wasn't worth your time and now she is contacting you. Let her chase you if she wants you.
     
  3. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    it probably won't work out and she seems a little dramatic.

    but give it a shot anymore; just don't expect much.
     
  4. Fenix

    Fenix OT Supporter

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    try making yourself not as open. it's amazing what canceling on women can do to them.
     
  5. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    .


    You play the mouse now, bro. You got control of the situation.

    Play your cards right.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You know my answer to this.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    She's just looking for a roommate.

    The background info shows that she didn't have much interest in you in the first place.
     
  8. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I wouldn't expect a miracle. She's flaky... Just like she pulled away out of no where, sounds like she's coming back out of nowhere, expect the same time of pull away out of nowhere in the future.

    If her track record had truly changed, she wouldn't RUSH into telling you how she missed you out of nowhere, take it as the same time of behavior. She would taken her time and used tact, she's acting irrational and flaky and this will not change.

    I wouldn't waste your time, although I'm sure you can get laid.
     
  9. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    . If you want give it another shot, but just don't expect anything. She seems to just be looking for a roommate. Doesnt' look like she's changed. Let her do the chasing, you've put forth your effort and she didn't give a shit. If she wants you, she's going to have to put forth her effort now.
     
  10. squid

    squid braap

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    If she wanted you she wouldn't be pulling away when you try to make things happen. Don't expect anything and don't wait for her--find someone else.
     
  11. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Friendzoned
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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  13. cd7

    cd7 how troublesome

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    i would give it a chance but as they say hope for the best but expect the worst. dont make any major unnecessary changes in your life for her, if you do not benefit from it
     
  14. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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  15. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    so there are multiple girls whose relationships with you are centered around homework help?

    maybe rethink that strategy.
     
  16. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Nah.. it was that one girl from my bio class mostly. This girl I had hung out with before on previous occasions and only once I was at her house to give her a hand with some homework.

    Anyways.. she's still out of state and won't be back for another week or two. Been briefly talking to her off and on but not giving her my devoted attention by any means. She's been the one contacting me a majority of the time. I'll post another update in a week or so.
     
  17. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Reading into this, are girls really single dimensional in the way of showing approval? I mean how does the whole process of succeeding with a girl works? Are they supposed to say "yes i like you" or kiss you back and then you'll have her for real?
     
  18. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Update:

    Preface:

    So last night the girl got home from Missouri and asked me if I had today off. I told her I did but I wasn't 100% sure if I could get together because I had some medical stuff to take care of in the morning and I didn't know how I'd be feeling but I'd let her know. Today rolled around and I texted her around 1pm and tried to set up some plans to hang out. I asked her if she wanted to take a walk in the park near her house (weather permitting) or if the weather was shitty then get some coffee together so she could tell me about her trip. She didn't want to do either but asked me to come over to her house after dinner.

    Things got delayed a little bit and I ended up getting to her house around 8:00. Felt a little awkward at first because I spent more time saying hi to her mom than her.. She was on the phone with her cousin when she answered the door but fortunately I get along pretty well with her mom.

    General part of the evening:

    She showed me some pictures of her trip and we talked about that for a little bit but her mom was still hanging out down stairs so it made things a little awkward. Finally her mom said goodnight and headed upstairs so we turned on a movie. Put my arm around her and we were just kind of cuddling a bit and then her brother came home and kind of changed the setting. He stayed downstairs with us being a cock-block for about 45 minutes but I get along with the kid pretty well and I didn't see myself getting laid tonight so I didn't let it bother me.

    He finally went up to bed and so we started getting back to the movie. A little more cuddling but no kissing or anything. What irritated me the most about the situation was that her cousin kept texting her and she kept responding. I didn't really know what to do about this because she was supposed to go visit her cousin this weekend so it seemed like a semi-important conversation. She didn't ignore me or move away while texting but I felt like it took away from the mood. I think she was still a little uncomfortable because I haven't seen her in nearly six months and within an hour I was starting to cuddle with.

    After about 15 minutes she went upstairs to get her dog out of her moms bedroom because she didn't want the dog to wake her mom up. She came back down, played with the dog a little bit and then the movie ended. She seemed like she was getting pretty tired so I started to pick my things up and get ready to go. She had to do the dishes before she went to bed so I hung out with her for a few more minutes while she did those and then started to slowly make my way towards the door. She walked me to the door but had her dog in her hand the whole time so it seemed obvious she wasn't looking for a kiss. Gave her a hug goodbye and told her we'd make some plans to play laser tag next week (something we had talked about a few days ago).


    My thoughts:

    It seemed like overall she was somewhat interested in me but the evening just didn't feel as fluid as I had hoped. I tried to make it a priority on my part to be a little bit more aggressive than I normally am because I know she has a tendency of being somewhat shy. Having her mom around when I showed up and then her brother coming home after we had just started to get comfortable made things kind of lame. It seemed like she found ways to distract herself from cuddling up / getting close to me which was irritating. I'm not sure if it was because she wasn't interested, she was nervous, or if it was another reason. I want to go out somewhere with her away from her home so we can get some semi-exclusive time together. A few days ago we talked about going to play laser tag together and I still feel like its a solid plan. Would sunday seem too soon for me to ask her to go out (tonight was a Thursday)?.
     
  19. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    ^i'm leaning towards that you're friendzoned from the above. she likes cuddling with you and being your friend, but probably doesn't want anything more. see how lazertag goes; if you feel like you're just hanging out as friends, then she's not into you.
     
  20. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    These are my thoughts as well... I figure if we hang out again and I can't manage to get a kiss its not going to be worth investing any more time into.. She knows who I am and we're pretty comfortable together, but at the same time it has been almost six months since we spoke/hung out. I didn't want to completely judge the situation by one evening that was awkward slightlybeyond her control.
     
  21. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I do that when guys try to go farther than I want to go right then (or if I sense that they are going to try to). Hard to say for sure if she's interested or not. She could just be nervous or want to get to know you better (since you haven't talked/seen each other for so long). Or she just didn't have the balls to tell you to stop touching her because she's not interested :dunno:
     
  22. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You are friendzoned. I used to be the king of being friendzoned. I know when someone is friendzoned, and dude, you are HARDCORE friendzoned. You are the worst kind of friendzoned because she likes cuddling with you. :rofl: But you'll never get beyond that. Mark my words.
     
  23. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I feel like putting as much energy as possible into this girl simply to try and prove you wrong now. Honestly though, I've never been friend zoned by a girl who enjoyed cuddling up and stuff. It's always been very little physical contact in the past. We'll see! Appreciate the honest input as always.
     
  24. xem1x

    xem1x ATYFCFM

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    This thread is appealing. I'm kinda in the exact same situation.. I have no fucking clue where to take things...

    Def. going to keep an eye on this thread.
     
  25. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    You're friendzoned. Good luck.

    Also, if she had any legit romantic interest in you, why am I the only one that thinks its just a LITTLE WEIRD for her to be wanting to even THINK about moving in with you after so little history?

    Duck and Cover, something is not right.
     

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