SRS Okay, so this recurring nightmare is driving me insane.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kirby McSpic, Apr 7, 2007.

  1. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    So I broke up with my ex around say October of last year. It was a messy and by far the most painful thing that's ever happened to me in my life.

    I made the mistake of treating her like crap when she was the most valuable thing I had in my life. So we got into a big fight and I didn't see her for a week. During that week, her cousin got her into religion again, and that's what completely destroyed our relationship, since she had found God, and another person to take my place.

    All of that's fine, I've come to realize that she needed that, so at least she's happy with God in her.

    Now that happened what? 6 months ago? About 1 month ago, I've been getting a recurring nightmare that's driving me insane.

    In the dream, I'm just doing anything in my house. One time I was just in the living room, and another I was fixing something on my computer. But the thing that messes things up is that my ex-girlfriend pops out of nowhere, hugs me and kisses me, as if nothing happened. I got the hang of how to Lucid dream, since I thought that'd give me control over my dreams and force it somehow to stop it. I asked her during one lucid dream why she was coming out of the blue like this and she said nothing, I asked her if she had left her current boyfriend, and she was like "Noo-yeah". Yet I didn't question it, but during those dreams, I'm happy to see her for a minute or two.

    And then it hits me. The worse feeling of frustration and sorrow I've ever felt. The dream is so wrong and I feel like shit. This is usually what wakes me up, usually either in a cold sweat, or almost crying.

    I've had no contact with her ever since we broke up, I insisted and still do to get her out of my head, but stupid shit like that and even random flashbacks during the day hit me like a ton of bricks.

    I've even been dating another girl for almost a month now, I thought that'd help as well, since she knows what I've gone through, and she has really been supportive.

    I just don't know what to do, I've even broken one of the walls in my room out of frustration by punching it and even headbutting it, and I can't do anything to get her out of my head, she's still there, randomly haunting me through the day, and destroying my dreams at night.

    My ex girlfriend was and still is in OT, her name is Kirbys Autumn, although she hasn't been here since last year, and she frequented these forums.

    Any sort of ideas or opinions would be greatly appreciated, since this is driving me insane and I don't know what to do.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Talk to her about this dream, maby even send an e-mail to her about it, Tell her that your really bothered by it and ask her what she thinks of it.
     
  3. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    That's a good idea. that might be the best thing for you but ont he other hand she might throw it back in your face with some bullshit.
     
  4. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    She'll either

    1) Ignore it.

    2) Relate it to something religious, and I'll make things worse, because she cannot hold a logical argument/conversation without saying "god" or "holy spirit" in it. She's really been brainwashed that badly.
     
  5. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    I'm not saying that you need to resort to "god". Goto a gym and get a membership or find a new girlfriend who does totally different stuff to kinda get you in a different thing. Doing things that you did with her will onyl bring her back to mind!

    I've been in the same boat before and I had to do totally different things to get her out of my mind. Not wanting to do somethings for the fact that they weren't the type of things I did but I had to do them.
     
  6. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    I am with another girl at the moment, who has a lot in common with me and actually cares, but apparently that's not enough to stop my flashbacks. They're getting to the point where I'm like lost in another planet until someone calls my name or shakes me out of it. I don't want to lose this girl as well. :sad2:
     
  7. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Well, you might want to go see someone. I mean it can't hurt to get someones opinion who is good at it!

    Not something that I would do but I mean it has help other people. So it might help you a little!
     
  8. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Only if it didn't cost so much, it'd be on it like flies on shit. :hs:

    I was just seeing what The Asylum's opinion and ideas were on this.

    I've bee trying to help myself all this time, all I needed was someone else's opinion to see wether I'm going insane or not. :rofl: :hs:
     
  9. strykers

    strykers Antimember

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    if you're a college student, your college may offer free counseling services
     
  10. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Nope, HS senior. :hsd:

    Graduating in a month.
     
  11. Hypno toad

    Hypno toad Guest

  12. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Hey Ian, how you doin' bro.
     
  13. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    just become more involved with your current girlfriend. convince yourself that the religious bullshit is a turn off, and dont think about her before you're going to sleep. if you can lucid dream, make her leave.
     
  14. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Will do.

    Although getting I'm not too sure about the getting more involved with the gf part.
     
  15. deviant critter

    deviant critter New Member

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    think about the problem in daylight, outside, in the sun and alone
    things that only come up at night have a way of being distorted it seems to me anyway
     
  16. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Why didnt you tell me what the dreams were about?
     
  17. HyPE

    HyPE ::OTTC Crew #2839::

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    oh snap :eek3:
     
  18. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    IMO the problem is your guilt over how you treated her. You admitted to treating her like crap even though she was "the most valuable thing you had in your life". Which is BS IMO. You don't treat something that valuable like crap. You may want to believe that she was the most valuable thing but I don't think she was based on how you treated her.

    Regardless, you owe her an amends. You need to clean up your side of the street here. These dreams are a direct result of your guilt and won't stop till you come to terms with that. It also might be your minds way of saying, hey dummy, don't make the same mistake again.

    So how do you make an amends? Well you're approach and motivation should be from the perspective that you realized you made mistakes that hurt her and you are sorry for that. Then you apologize. She may either tell you to fuck off or accept your apology but either way you should make the apology. Also, this is very important, DO NOT make the amends with the expectation that she will want you back. It's over....move on. You simply need to make the amends to get free from the guilt.

    If she won't talk to you or doesn't want to see you, write her a letter. The most important thing is to do this simply to right a wrong. Any other motivation is IMO misdirected and will only lead to further harm.
     
  19. Barky

    Barky woof

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    :eek3:
     
  20. SiegHeil!

    SiegHeil! New Member

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    you got caught son. what a shame.
     
  21. IHAVECRABS

    IHAVECRABS Diversity is our strength. LOLOL

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    damn :eek3:
     
  22. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Got caught? lol, not that much of a big deal..I just don't see why he couldn't tell me about it.
     
  23. Scootin

    Scootin OT Supporter

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    Try a therapist, and if that doesn't work, go see a psychiatrist and talk about a mild benzodiazepinse prescription.
     
  24. Ark

    Ark New Member

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    Probably because it would be really awkward for him. Plus he was probably afraid of the outcome. Thats my best guess.
     
  25. Hypno toad

    Hypno toad Guest

    what's up with the nazi name?
     

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