ok... what did i do wrong here?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by multiplexor, Nov 11, 2005.

  1. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    situation:
    I spoke with a friend (known 15 years) which was not a friend of mine for the last 2-3 years... his gf and mine stopped talking, and we ended up doing the same plus some other minor reasons...

    the last couple months him and i have been talking more and shit... today he says he needs new tires... i tell him my bro can get a discount... friend is interested... i tell the gf that said friend is interested and just wanted to make sure that she would be comfortable with this sutaiton where i'd meet up with said friend on a sunday and we'd go get the tires changed...


    she gets upset at me because i'm asking her this... and tells me to do what i want... i repeat that i'd like to make sure she's comfortable.. if she doesn't feel like seeing said person, then i won't continue with the plans...



    so first she get seemingly gets upset with the fact the i pre-made potential plans... and then gets upset because i want to find "comfort" with her agreeing to see said friend...

    WHAT THE FUCK?

    what hapenned to a simple response like "no i don't feel comfortable with this" or "yes, that's fine, it might be a bit weird, but ok..."

    am i wrong here?
    am i just too emo... lol


    Here is the transcript:
    ===================================================
    multiplexor: cause _FRIEND_ was mentionning wanting new tires and i mentionned i could probably hook him up with the discount my bro gets at the tire place... after a couple back and forths talking about the tires, and if it's possible with my bro, he said he'd be free on sunday if it was doable...

    _GF_ hmmmm.....you gonna hook him up with a discount...don't push your luck too much with your bro...and then if you give it to him why not my dad?? He's family after all

    multiplexor: yeah, we could for your dad, my bro really wouldn't mind that :)

    _GF_ hmmm

    multiplexor: my bro gets the tax money back :)
    that's why they don't mind so much.

    _GF_ hmmm

    _GF_ I have a head ache

    multiplexor: ack :( not good

    multiplexor: but yeah, whatcha think for sunday... if everything permits... :)
    does your dad need winter tires this year?
    _GF_ i guess....what do you want me to say multiplexor? Sounds like you already made the plans anyway

    multiplexor: nothing confirmed... just talking with him about it and shit... nothing set in stone type thing...
    just wanna be sure it doesn't bother ya... If you don't feel comfortable with it, that's no problemo... :)
    plus i wanted to ensure nothing was planned for sunday, so if everything is chill then i can look further into it.. :)

    _GF_ the fact that you already began talking to him about it first to me is the same as making plans cuz otherwise you are just setting me up to be the bad guy ("I can't cuz _GF_ doesn't want too") not much choice left at that point

    multiplexor: nono babe, i simply let him know that it's not possible. I hadn't thought about it that way that you mentionned... In my mind, i was simply talking about it and if any party involved doesn't feel comfortable with this, then i would just say that it's not doable...

    _GF_ well in any case I'm not an involved party so why ask?

    multiplexor: i'm sorry, i really don't have and didn't have any intention of making you look "bad" or anything.
    you sound upset that i am verifying this with you.

    _GF_ why verify after the fact that's all?

    multiplexor: Because there is no fact per-say. plus, you've asked stuff like this with me before, after you're already confirmed stuff. It's the same thing essentially.
    there really is no "plan" it was only talk... which is where i'm chceking with you next before i actually make any plans... :)
    like if you told your _other-friend_, yeah we could probably eat out this sunday... and then you call me later to confirm if it's ok...

    _GF_ now that's different cuz _other-friend_ is a mutual friend...you were seeking approval on the basis of confort...so it's more like if I told you I'm going out to lunch with my ex on sunday, is that ok?

    multiplexor: hmm interesting, cause i hadn't seen in that perpective. I really only saw it as a simple conversation... no confirmation for comfort sakes... i just wanted to know if we were doing anything sunday, and if this bothered you in terms of not feeling comfortable seeing him. Relating to an Ex is a bit drastic sounding from my point of view.
    In terms of the _other-friend_ story, if i said no i wouldn't like to do that, wouldn't that still make me out to be the bad guy? just trying to gain perpective on this.

    _GF_ OMG give it up. You did bring in comfort when you said :"if any party involved doesn't feel comfortable with this, then i would just say that it's not doable..."
    Just do what you want!

    multiplexor: ok so did you feel comfortable with this, or did you not?
    this no longer has anything to do with the actually planning of the event. but the comfort of the situation now.
    how come i can't make sure my girlfriend is comfortable with me going forth with this, without you sounding upset?

    _GF_ ....you're too complicated
     
  2. okita1

    okita1 Great spirits have always encountered violent oppo

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    she is basically telling you not to do it, without actually saying it so she isnt the bad guy

    whatever the reason is she doesnt want you talking to him, i dont know, so i dont know if its warranted or not.

    you can either say, ok and do it because she told you to....

    or you can just call it off because it is obvious that she is uncomfortable with you doing it.
     
  3. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Seems kind of wussy, Why would you even ask your girl? Last time I checked a man dosent need permission from his girl to hook up one of his boys. Dont hide it, but dont ask her. Just tell her.
     
  4. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    if this guy had done something personal to her, then i can see a reason for asking... but from your story the 2 girls had a falling out and you guys just went with them.

    if your going to help out your buddy with tires, she doesnt have to come, but its not her decision.

    if she says shes not comfortable with that your not hooking your buddy up.... that makes no sence.
     
  5. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    word, we indeed went with them, although he had said something to me, which i did not appreciate and it hapenned at around the same time... so one thing led to another and we end up here...

    all i wanted to do was see if she was ok with the situation... but she turned all psychological on me... a simple yes or no would have been completely fine... i don't want her to feel weird/uncomfortable about him sudennly coming over one day, so i felt it important to mention it...

    she says it doesn't involve her so why ask...
    if i don't ask then she'll be upset because i didn't verify with her first...

    i can't win... lol
     
  6. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    i had almost the same exact thing happen to me... me and a very good friend of mine had a falling out a few years back and still dont talk... all because of our girlfriends at the time.

    notice i said at the time. i understand that you dont want to piss off the female, but it really has nothing to do with her. and if you need her approval on this when is her approval not needed. your friend should be more important than your girlfriend... because some day you will probably dump her, much like i did, and be left without her and without your good friend.
     
  7. F8

    F8 New Member

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    You can win. She clearly doesn't want you to do it. You can be a pussy and do what you know she wants, or hook up your buddy because she's has mental issues and can't be direct.
    I vote for looking for a new chic and dumping her as soon as you find someone new.
     
  8. dodgerdog

    dodgerdog If you're a racist, I'll attack with the North.

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    cliff notes?
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    you need to assert yourself here. She is being a controlling pain in the ass. you tried to be the nice guy and she went all basket case on you. if you reward her for that stunt, you are in for a world of hurt.
     
  10. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    This is what gives women a bad name. This was bullshit. She's all PMS on you. Talk about getting whammed outta left field on a powertrip.
     
  11. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    "Woman"? From her behavior sounds like a "girl" to me.

    I can't stand girls that can not make up their mind, and speak it too.

    - "What you wanna do?"
    - "I dunno what you wanna do?"
    Blah blah blah
     
  12. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i'm a woman, and i even i got a headache after reading that. :ugh: something is not connected up top with her :hsugh:
     
  13. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

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    Why for the love of Pete would you let a gf's battles come between you and a friend of 15 years? Of course, there are the "other things" which you did not mention. Could those "other things" be what is pissing her off? Unless it was something really horrendous, unless you had concrete plans with her on Sunday, she's the one who's wrong here. If she's this possessive and you're that dependant on her approval on what you do when you're NOT around her, that would not bode well for the future in my book.
     
  14. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    The other things... were mainly stuff like at the time i would go out drinking more, while he preferred to just watch tv... so his gf / my gf and I would go out to the bar/club... so that distanced us just a bit... then while his gf and mine stopped talking, and my bro was suffering from cancer to the brain/lungs, i told him this and a couple weeks later i mentionned my bro's status to him and he's like "so he's not dead yet, with all those lumpies in his head" I was like WHAT... and being passive like i am, i simply distanced myself nearly completely.... it was mainly bad bad timing, as if my gf/his gf thing hadn't hapenned i would have told him straight up how fucked up a thing that was to say... when i had metionned this to the gf, she got very pissed off, so that's a big factor also...

    as for being dependent on her... it's more that i'd prefere that if we do something that she'd want to do it... a simple yes/no is chill enough for me...

    it's fucked up because above situation she says, do what you want... BUT if i do what i want, she'll get upset cause i didn't check with her first... lol

    she calls me complicated when all she had to do was give a simple yes or no answer... instead she decided to pick apart the reason why i'm asking her... wtf...
     
  15. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    Thats fucked up what he said... I would kill the bastard
     
  16. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

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    and thus why we went our seperate ways... i'm passive that way...

    recently he started trying to talk to me and i had mentionned that to him... he couldn't believe he said that... and apologized like crazy.... for that and anything else he might have said..

    yeah... as he even said, he does have a tendency of putting his foot in his mouth fairly often...
     
  17. EmiB

    EmiB New Member

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    ohh I guess he changed. In your position I would help him out, your GF will get over it.
     

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