Ok Vag, rip into me v.promiscuous girls

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I am still having issues with girls who have highly promiscuous pasts.

    I am familiar with Secret Society, and I am familiar with Madonna/Whore. Sex is normal and women love it.


    Do I just have oldschool, or falsely-conditioned beliefs, then, that sex should only happen between people who actually have strong feelings for each other?

    My biggest fear is falling in love with a girl who used to be a whore (lots of promiscuous/unattached sex with many different partners). I think it would eat away at me constantly and I don't think I could do it.

    I wouldn't care if the girl had had tons of sex with a few people. In fact, that would probably make her more attractive to me. That's my situation... I've probably had more actual sex sessions than many people my age. One to three times a day (on average, more on weekends), every day, for LTRs spanning from 1-3 years in length. But my number of partners is very low (can be counted on one hand).

    I have no real desire to fuck anyone that I'm not potentially interested in having a relationship with. I don't know where this idea comes from. It's frustrating me. Physically, I love sex (obviously). But I can't do it with someone that I'm not interested in, even if they're hot.

    So are my beliefs that sex should be something special between two people who care about each other wrong? Why am I conditioned like this? How do I fix it? Like when I get married, I expect that my wife and I will have an awesome, special sex life. And if I've fucked 100 chicks before I fuck her, she's not going to feel very special. And if she's fucked 100 guys before she fucks me, I'm not going to feel like what we have is very special.

    Ok Vag, let me have it.
     
  2. Doc Love

    Doc Love Guest

    Should I PM you or write it here?
     
  3. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Write it here, we could all use a laugh
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i don't think it's a huge issue or anything... i mean there are probably a lot of women who have similar views and would get along great with you.

    personally, i give people some amount of forgiveness. if they had more partners than they wanted, and were somewhat permiscuous, but then at one point was like "this is stupid, i don't want to be like this anymore" and cleaned up their act, i'd still respect them. i know a lot of people who are unhappy with their past (mostly drugs/alcohol/crime, but same idea) and i respect their desire to really change themselves for the better.

    if the number was in the 100's i'd be kinda :hsugh:, i would think they'd have gotten over their "slutty phase" before it got that excessive. however if i was already with someone and i thought they were "the one" and i later found out that they had gone through some phase and had sex with a lot of random people i wouldn't let that interfere with our relationship.
     
  5. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i agree 100%.....
     
  6. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:

    lol beast is such a douche
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    here is a really simple way to look at it:

    if the only thing that makes making love to your wife more special then drunkenly fucking some party girl in a parking lot behind a bar is that you never did have any just for fun sex, then you and your wife really arn't having very special sex.

    on the other hand, i don't believe your beliefs are wrong, or a problem. if thats the way you want to be, then by all means, have at it. The only real downside is a significant reduction in your already heavily filtered dating pool, but so be it.

    what would you think of a girl who is like.. yeah, i tried the one night stand thing. I did it twice but didn't really like it and havn't done it in years... would you really have a problem with that? I mean I can see not liking it, but I really can't see not even giving it a fair shot. sometimes it really is a good time.
     
  8. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    .
     
  9. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Falconer I don't see a problem here. There are certain things you want in a partner, and for you a woman with low number of partners, or who has had sex only within a relationship, is one of those things. You really shouldn't have a problem finding women like that.
    I don't understand why you keep beating yourself up over preferences. You have standards, and you shouldn't look at that as a negative.
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i think it may have something to do with him really liking a girl, but she slept with him on the second date... so what does that say about her? and how does that fit into his world veiw?
     
  11. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I see.

    You have to feel that out I guess, does she generally do that? I tend to become sexual very early on in a relationship, but I am also REALLY FUCKING PICKY about who I date/have a relationship with. I actually have very little dating experience simply b/c by the time I decide to 'date' someone, I have already decided they are relationship materiel. That is, I rarely have a date that doesn't evolve into something serious.
    So, although i generally put out on the first couple dates, I've only had a few (5) partners.
     
  12. AlextheDroog

    AlextheDroog Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any ya

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    all women go thru their slutty phase...at least most..

    usually its between 16-25 or 35-45..
     
  13. jazzmoney

    jazzmoney New Member

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    Falconer,
    I believe I was EXACTLY like you. Dated lots of girls but would only sleep with a handful of girls once in a LTR.
    I disliked promiscuous girls and you couldn't catch me sleeping with one.

    I suppose it has to do with how we're raised, beliefs that are instilled in us, religious teachings, societal views, etc.
    To me, sex = love. How can you say you truly love me if you've said that to a hundred people before.

    But what I've discovered is that my feelings about it have changed... I'm 29 now and realize that sex is more physical with an emotional component. sex != love. Love is manifested and expressed in many ways including sex.
     
  14. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I don't believe there is anything wrong with your mentality, in fact I agree with you, I would have apprehension dating or getting serious with a woman who has had a very promiscuous past, because it shows a lot about their character, choices and maybe even upbringing.

    I tend to be a man concerned with depth, not surface level existence and thus would appreciate the same in my partner... It's only natural to feel "shocked" when someone tosses around their sex, or has multitudes of superficial encounters.........

    NOTHING wrong here buddie.... Answer: If you don't like it, DON'T DATE EM!

    My ex had a pretty promiscuous past, 15 partners or so... More than twice as many as me. Although it didn't make me super uncomfortable, I couldn't take her very seriously and I'm sure it reflected the way I treated her as well as our relationship. If you can call it that.
     
  15. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Nothing wrong with that :dunno: just find out if she's been a whore before you fall in love with her
     
  16. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yeah. This thread really isn't related to that girl I'm dating now.

    Just like you, I typically become sexual early, but I'm also ridiculously picky about who I date so it's not like I'm becoming sexual early with just anyone.
     
  17. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    I am always upfront about my sexual past with girls and i expect them to do the same. If I later found out what they told me in the begining was a lie that would end the relationship right there.

    I share the same view, a lot of sex is great...a lot of sex with a lot of different people is not. If a girl is one of the later I will/can not form a real attraction to them.
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Look at things forwards instead of backwards.

    Let's say a girl has slept with 1, or 4, even 8, or 9 guys before you, and then she chooses you. She thinks you are A Catch. She is selecting from a pool of 10 experiences and she thinks you are A Catch. Maybe you are....

    But think of a girl who has slept with 1,000 guys. And she chooses you... and she thinks you are special, and that you stand out from that crowd of 1,000 guys.

    You top 1,000 experiences... not just 5. You have got to be DAMN special.

    You may think I'm being funny, and maybe I am, accidentally, being funny. However, think about it in terms of what you know from attracting women. Why does social proof make a man MORE attractive? Think about it, think about why guys with social proof are more attractive to women. Why does "accidentally" DHV-ing work? It's because when a player shows genuine interest in a girl, she knows he is coming from a place of abundance but STILL choosing her. As opposed to a chode guy showing interest, who will SETTLE for her, because he can't get anything anywhere else.

    Chodes who have social anxiety call themselves "picky" in hopes of making their isolation seem like a choice, but, come on.. :hs:

    If she's fucked 100 and you've fucked 100 and then all of a sudden you each want to stay with this 1 person for the rest of your life, she must be very special and you must be very special indeed.
     
  19. jazzmoney

    jazzmoney New Member

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    1,000 experiences prior? That doesn't mean the next person is the most specialist of them all... It means that they're #1,001.
     
  20. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Nothing wrong with the way you are thinking, in fact I agree.

    I guess it has to moral implications and a religious view, but for the most part I think (for me at least) sex should be shared with someone you care about. Not necessarily married to, but someone you care about and have a connection with.

    I have never dated a girl with a "whore" past, so I am not sure how I would react or how it would affect the relationship but I can see it causing problems at some point in time.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    If the next person shines above the rest, and makes for an exclusive life partner - that is a LOT of people to stand above - so more special than if the next person only shines above 2 pifling experiences. It just depends on how you look at it.

    In reality, the number doesn't matter - whether they've had 1,000 or 1, it doesn't change what YOU happen to have with them.

    I'm just trying to illustrate how absurd it is to quantify "specialness" using math. It goes both ways.
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yes, you are the fucking guy that I wanted to hear from in this thread. Thanks. :h5:

    But

    I'm not saying I'm not a chode, and I definitely have social anxiety. But even if I could lay whoever I wanted to, I still probably wouldn't. I've turned down sex from attractive women before because I didn't see a potential relationship with them (also sometimes because I had a gf at the time, even tho I wouldn't have been caught).

    So you've proven that you cannot quantify "specialness" using math. But what about moral character? Or am I grasping at straws here with unfounded beliefs?
     
  23. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    i see nothing wrong with it.
     
  24. ilearned2talk

    ilearned2talk herro prease

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    here's what i think. some people will tell you that this is not okay blah blah blah, and that you should see it their way. but your way of thinking is perfectly fine. if that's how you feel, then that's how you feel. if you don't want to change that, then you don't have to.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    ok. I wrote the picky thing before seeing your post where you self identified as picky. More posting later
     

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