ok, i have to do this right the first time v. meeting a new girl

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by victimizati0n, Aug 20, 2008.

  1. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    to make a long story short, i used to be a fairly outgoing person, shit happened and i was a bit depressed, and now im not very outgoing (unless im drunk), but i have been working on it for a while now (i have had a few people tell me i seem a lot happier and more outgoing) but im my mind its still not enough

    i have problems trying to impress a girl i am with by not being myself, because i care so much what they think about me, and well i want something to happen between us, and not have her think i am weird or something and not want to start dating, which is a really bad thing

    so for starters, how do i fix the above problems.. like i said i have been working on it, but i seem to have hit a peak and cant go any further

    and secondly, soon i will be meeting a girl who i met almost a year ago again, she seemed great when i met her, and told her friend that she "liked me" now im almost certain she said that as a person standpoint and not a relationship stand point.. please dont get this confused with me being in the friend zone.. believe me i know ALL about it.

    ever since i met this girl way back when, i thought she would be a great girl for me, but i was too shy to get her number, and i havent talked to her since

    i just want things to work out with this girl, i need it to work out to really get my confidence back, but (in my head anyways) i wont have any confidence untill it happens.. so i am at a standstill in my head

    im a shy person around people who i like, or who i think am better than i am (ut oh, confidence issues!) but i dont want to be

    what is a good way to break myself from these bad habits? im a great person to be around if i get to know you, but being shy doesnt let me get to know people very well

    im sorry for this long ass post, but im really trying to fix myself here, i really want/ need this to work out to really better myself

    and i hate to admit it, but the only reason i am more outgoing when i am drunk isnt because of what the alcohol does to me, its because i know the people around me know im drunk and i can just be my crazy self and just "blame it" on the alcohol.. and please dont get that comment wrong, i do not have an alcohol problem at all, i dont have to drink to have a good time, i dont need it to make me feel better, i can go for long periods of time without drinking and not even think about it, etc. i know what it is like being "addicted " to something and its not alcohol.. just trying to get that across

    i just want your guys opinions on things i should try to do to make myself ready to make a great impression on this girl

    thanks!
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    How is your social life?
     
  3. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You can actually see what you say in your post :eek3:

    I am XYZ, but don't get that wrong XYZ is this and not that and certainly isn't the other thing.

    You had to protect yourself from judgment of a bunch of random people on the internet. Is this something you do in your normal life often?
     
  4. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    not bad :dunno: i would say its about the same as any average person

    wat im explaining myself, because i know if i say i have drank alcohol before OT is going to say omg you are an alcoholic you should kill yourself, etc.

    only on OT
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    How are you "working" on yourself?

    And you are placing FAR too much importance on what women think of you. You are desperate for this chick to like you to give you some confidence. You need to work on yourself before you can even attempt to have a relationship, because women can smell that desperation and insecurity a mile away. Getting a chick wont lift your confidence, in fact, once you get one you'll constantly be stressing yourself out if you are doing "the right thing" because you still don't believe in yourself.

    What are you so depressed about? Do you worry about your physical appearance?
     
  6. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Truth, been there :(
     
  7. Timer

    Timer Guest

    This is all you need to know:
    Confidence is important. Why? It makes you FUN to be with. Don't be cocky. Have a supportive, understanding, listening attitude to a girl and don't be afraid to poke fun at her.
    BUT, be yourself. If a woman doesn't like you when you're being someone else, why would you be with that person?
     
  8. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    I've been stuck in a similar rut (sp?) in the last year or so. Although I can tell you exactly why I have a lacking confidence, it doesn't make it any easier to fix. If you look back you'll see my thead about looking "older" due to my baby face and juvinile appearance (that reminds me, I should get some recent pics for an OT update on that.) I'm obviously still working on building confidence on my physical appearance, but it sounds like you have more confidence issues with acceptance. Do you have any "true" friends that are going to be there for you no matter what? It sounds like you need some sort of validation from people before you can feel confident enough to be yourself. I think what you should do is view this girl as a friend. Dont let yourself see it as anything other than a buddy you're going out for a drink with. Treat her as such too (minus any "guy" manners) don't let yourself see her as a possible mate, but more as a friend. See how that works out for you, I know that always helps me talk to women that I find attractive.
     
  9. chakup

    chakup Guest

    I glanced over your post- sorry kinda long and alot shit going on but my $0.02.

    I'm in pretty much the same boat, never been a very social person. Only really outgoing or myself when drinking. Well looking at endind a 10 year relationship- I've had the first times ni a long time of feeling happy with me. Told myself F it. If people can't handle me for me oh well. Don't go looking and trying to be someone you're not to impress. Be yourself and you'll find someone you're more compatable with anyways.
     
  10. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    i really have no idea, after i stopped seeing this one chick who was just playing with my mind for a few months, and finally got over her, i have been in better moods and stuff

    i know you dont know my situation, and everything, but believe me when i say this, getting her would greatly boost my confidence

    with the other girl who i was in "love" with, she wouldnt go out with me, it killed me because i thought that there was something wrong with me, and that was the reason she woulnt, and it was that way for a while, she always made me feel that i was the reason she wouldnt be with me

    now i realize that she was just a psycho, but i still have those feelings (i guess thats the right word) that are stuck on me, "what is wrong with me, why wouldnt that girl go out with me"

    the depression bit.. hell that happened a long ass time ago when i was in 9th grade, it was a family issue, but after it was resolved my depression was still there and i hate to say it, i just pushed it on other shit, especially the psycho girl

    i guess thats why im a lot happier now, because i have no feelings for her, but its still there, kinda like how when you quit smoking you will always want one for the rest of your life

    im not too worried about my appearance, at least not any more than the average guy
     
  11. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    haha, i didnt see your post, but who cares if you look young

    i look really young for my age, but it really doesnt worry me at all

    but anywho i do have friends who will be there for me

    i will also try what you said, i really have no idea when the next time i will actually see her will be.. it could be next week or next month
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Again, if you think your confidence would forever be fixed by this one chick liking you you are in serious denial.

    Instant gratification and confidence boost? Sure
    Long term confidence and no depression? No way

    Just don't forget that.

    You need to keep constantly reminding yourself that you don't need a woman's validation to know that you are great.
     
  13. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    yes, that is true, but it will help greatly

    anyways im seeing her tommorw for a short bit :noes:
     

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