Ok, here goes......

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by downbynature, Mar 16, 2006.

  1. downbynature

    downbynature New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    My fiance was looking at clips of my son on my video camera and at the end of the clip, there was part of a really old video of me and my ex having sex. :eek3:
    I thought I had recorded over it a long time ago but I guess I missed the end.
    Anyway, I feel terrible about this and she know's that I have no feelings for the ex and that this was totally an accident so ever since, our sex life has gone way down hill.
    I have been racking my brain trying to figure out ways to help her get over the vision she now has in her head but I've come up with nothing other than reassuring her that she's the one, and I have no feelings for the ex.
    I'm really at a loss and I hate seeing her like this. Any input would be appreciated.
     
  2. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,951
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    I would say don't try to "make it up" to her, and don't dwell on it... just try to go on as normal, as if it never happened. Should she bring it up the only thing you can do is try to defuse the issue. In time the thought of it will fade away, hopefully, and things will be okay despite this "incident"... it should if you are both secure in yourselves and your present relationship and aren't preoccupied with your past. She is probably never really going to forget it but, you know, that's what happens when you make stupid mistakes. :hs:

    Be more careful in the future and for God's sake. Don't recycle any more videotapes!
     
  3. downbynature

    downbynature New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Haha. Thanks for the info and, in case I didn't mention it before, I know it was stupid.
    The part that I forgot to mention is that I have full custody of my son and the "ex" that I spoke of, is his mother.
    She has visitation 2 days a week and she's a "reformed" alcoholic as they say. There's alot of question as to whether or not she is harming my son when he is visiting with her and we know that she's confusiing the shit out of him so there's alot of anger towards her and we are obviously going to have to deal with her to some extent so it's going to be especially hard for my fiance to get over this being that the ex is around.
     
  4. downbynature

    downbynature New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oops. Sorry. Not sure what happend there. ^^
     
  5. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2005
    Messages:
    1,300
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    "The Shed"
    Your fiance needs to realise that the past is the past. She obviously knows all of the things that have happened since then, and that there's nothing left, except your son, between you and your ex.

    Just give her time and keep reassuring her that she's the one
     
  6. downbynature

    downbynature New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks again guys. That's all I have been doing. It's just frustrating. Just when I think she's getting better with it, she brings it up again. I guess I have to learn to be more patient. Thanks again.
     
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    4,413
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NOVA
    Brings it up again? You need to lay down the law a little. I mean, *OBVIOUSLY* you had sex with your ex. It's not like she's never had sex before (right?) and she's just being immature and rude to rake you over the coals time and time again. Me, I'd tell her "Hey, look, it was a mistake. I know. Bringing it up time and time again is not going to change the fact that I had sex sometime in my past prior to meeting you, and it is not going to change the fact that I video'd it, and it is not going to change the fact that I did not do a very good job at erasing the tape. I can respect that you're upset about that, but you need to get over it. It's not like neither of us have a past - both me AND you. Might I suggest you talk to your (friend, sister, therapist) and get it worked out? Of course, I think the real solution would be for us to make our own sex tape ... what do you say? :naughty: "

    Me, I'd go for making your own sex tape, and make it better. ;) (Seriously, I really would.)
     
  8. downbynature

    downbynature New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Haha. Thanks for the advice. I have suggested making our own tape. We used to take pictures all the time, but ever since she saw the other tape, the thought of it all upsets her. So as of now, little to no sex, no pictures, no video.
    Don't get me wrong, our relationship isn't all about sex but at this point, that's the only thing wrong with it. Everything else is great but the sex part just dissappeared.
     
  9. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2002
    Messages:
    50,478
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    philadelphia/buffalo
    she's acting very immature over something so petty. I agree with Poco, you need to stand your ground on this one or 10-15 yrs. downt he road she'll still be using this to try and guilt trip you. Unless your ex is the Virgin Mary i'm sure she already knew you two had sex.
     
  10. downbynature

    downbynature New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2006
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Of course she knew that me and the ex had sex. If she doesn't, I'd love to know where she thinks my son came from.:mamoru:
    The big problem for her is that she has a visual in her head now and she can't get rid of it.
    I agree that she should get over it but obviously it seems like it's not that ewasy for her. We've had plenty of arguments about this already so I'm not about to start another.
    I guess I can just keep re-assuring her that I love her and that she's the only one for me and we'll see where this goes.
    Meanwhile, I guess I can just catch up on some "5 on 1".:jerkit:
     

Share This Page