Ok, chick problem. I'm pretty sure I know how to fix it.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Reign, Jan 21, 2005.

  1. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    This girl I used to see for awhile recently came back.

    A little back story: She has endomitriosis and would be out of town for like weeks at a time sick so I couldn't see her. She's really pretty, but she hasn't exactly had alot of previous relationships. She's really shy, and shit like that. I liked her, but I couldn't deal with being with someone that I could never see.

    Anyway, she stopped by a week ago unexpectedly and we basically started where we left off (didn't sleep together or anything, but fooled around). Well, I've tried to get her to hang out since and she wouldn't do it. So basically I told her that if she's gonna be like that again I don't want to get into this again. After like 30 minutes she said she wasn't ready for this and said we probably shouldn't see each other right now.

    Now, I thought this a little fucked up. So I called up my friend and told her the whole story and she thought it was fucked up to and did a little detective work.

    Turns out, that she doesn't want to be with me because she's intimidated by me because I'm fairly intelligent and kinda well off (my parents cover alot of my shit while I'm in college) and she wasn't really going to school because of her health problem and didn't have a job for the same reason. Basically, she told my friend she didn't want to be with me because she didn't want me to think of her as a loser. I was like "If I was gonna think of her as a loser, I would have already done so" and my friend said "Yeah, I know, I told her that" anyway, my friend is trying to fix things, I said I could do it and I'd rather to because hearing this stuff from the person that likes her would probably do much more for her self-esteem. Anyway my friend said not yet because she doesn't know if she (the person of my affection) would get pissed or not for my friend telling me all that.

    So anyway, what would you guys recommend? Does this sound fixable?
     
  2. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    It's fixable, but it's not going to happen at the snap of your fingers. It will be hard because shy girls are usually insecure about what's going on. You'll probably be battling this for a long time. The choice to stay or not is really how committed you are. Do you care for her enough to stay with her and help her along a long (along along :p) journey of building up her spirits, or do you not want the hassle?

    If I were you, I'd do like you said and wait it out a little. You know what her problem is, you're going to need to get her to tell you. When you too a close and something just barely doesn't feel right, just ask her, "is something bothering you?" .. she'll probably keep denying it but you need to persist. Eventually she'll crack and you should be able to tell her how you feel about the situation. Who knows, it really depends on how close you are to her. If she doesn't share a great enough affection and respect for you, she might not tell you at all, and that's the time I'd start thinking about getting out :hs:
     
  3. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

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    Talk to her...if you really like her, tell her something along the lines of this.

    "Look, (insert friend's name here) told me how you felt. I like you, I know about your condition and how it affects your life. When I say I like you, I mean I like the whole package, not just certian parts. If you feel like you shouldn't be with me because you don't think you're good enough, you're going to need to come up with a better answer than that, because I'm not gonna take it."

    basically let her know that you accept and like her for everything she is. good luck man
     
  4. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    The only thing you can do is talk to her and let her know what you feel. If you're honest with her, it's really in her hands from there. I suspect there is more to the story then you think though, because I've never heard of a case of endometriosis bad enough to keep someone from going to school/work.
     
  5. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    No, it hurts her bad. She's been on pain pills and bed rest because it gets so bad sometimes.
     
  6. Chrissy

    Chrissy dnb doll

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    over 5 million women in this country have it. it can effect anything from just the uterus to the entire female region. if she's a small girl with a bad case of it she may be in severe pain at times. someone that has this may be affraid of relationships in general. it can prevent pregnancy and also make women NOT want to have sex. women want to be with a man not only for companionship, but to experience the pleasure that comes along with it. if she thinks she can't have sex with you and that your "well off" parents want a grandchild it might scare her quite a bit since she's already a timid person. if you care about her, you'll talk to her. the only way she is going to trust you with herself is by letting her know she can.:hs:
     

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