LGBT Nuke your closet in 69 easy steps.

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by ManyHamsters, Jul 2, 2006.

  1. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    I am planning on coming out very soon in my life, and i thought i'd share a snippet of what i'm reading with you all. (Yes i typed that whole thing from the hard copy :p , my fingers hurt now! But i thought since it's helping me, it may help someone else too.) It's giving me alot of courage.

    p.s. sorry coco hun, i know coloured text is your thing, but i like it now :mamoru:
     
  2. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I actually did bristle when I first noticed it, but your pointing it out made me giggle... So I guess you're CoCo Approved :bigthumb:
     
  3. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...all of the luck, pum'kin. :wavey:
     
  4. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    Easy to say but really hard to accomplish, at least for those of us that really protect our parents and wait for better moments. Coming out sometimes is not an option for those that really have no ways to survive alone. Replacing one problem with another one just won't do. Sadly.
     
  5. OneLifeOneLove

    OneLifeOneLove If You Ain't Outta Control, You Ain't In Control.

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    ur gonna post the whole thing when your done? i've enjoyed it so far.
     
  6. suckmyexhaust

    suckmyexhaust New Member

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    Best wishes and hope for the best. I know I am.
     
  7. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I'll be honest; I didn't read past the first couple of lines, because the first couple of lines set me off.

    Since when is sexuality the most important aspect of a person's life? Since when is a person's sexuality the definition of who they are? My sexuality is a small part (take your puns and stick 'em where the sun don't shine) of who I am as a person. If I were sexually-conflicted, it would be something I would think about much more than I do -- comfortable as I am with my body parts and what I choose to do with them -- but it would not be the definition of who I am by any means. I am not a straight man, I am a smart man who does this and that and thinks a lot and occasionally tries to swing a girlfriend. If I were gay, I would be the same except for that one small difference.

    That said, best of luck figuring out who you are. I had other issues I had to deal with and I know I felt a lot better when I stopped holding myself to false standards.
     
  8. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    CoCo: Ty! on both fronts babe :wavey:.

    GetOutofMyWay: I know exactly what you're going through. I was that way for quite a while, and it's only now that I'm moving out that I am going to tell them. So I totally respect that, I just remember knowing that i was constantly unhappy pretending to be be something I wasn't for their sakes, and it grew old fast. If they love me, they'll accept this new part of me, if not, i'm out anyway. I can't wait till I can start bringing some boys home. :naughty:

    alexdoan: I totally will, give me a few days. :greddy:

    suckmyexhaust: Thanks hun. :)

    deusexaethera: I guess my response is, that when you have to fight for your entire lifetime over a part of yourself, against both society and yourself, it becomes more valuable and precious to you than the rest of your attributes put together, and something worth strongly and proudly stating.

    I am very proud of you that you don't allow yourself to be defined by your sexuality, but for me, revealing my sexuality isn't me placing myself into a box, and letting it become my entire being; it is a ladder that allows me to step out of the box that society had assumed i was in, and letting me roam the world free from their original expectations, and only living up to my own.

    I know you probably think it is a very ego-centric thing to do, and in some ways it is, but it also brings about (mostly) tolerance, for yourself, and by association, other homosexuals, from those you reveal it to.

    sry that was long :mamoru:
     
  9. LikkleBaer

    LikkleBaer New Member

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    Mmm, it's better if you don't have stuff like that hanging over you.

    People should love you for who you are, not who you choose to fuck.
     
  10. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    I'd go out if I had someone to run to, since I'm completely and utterly alone then I don't feel it's smart for me to openly accept my orientation and get nothing in return....I guess this will change someday, before I turn beige and wrinkly.
     
  11. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    GetOutofMyWay:

    i don't know much anything about your personal situation, (except your age), but i strongly suggest that you make opportunities to get yourself out of that situation. do whatever it takes (move to a different, more accepting city; get a better job; move out and get roommates to help foot the rent if living alone is too expensive etc), because that isn't a healthy situation to stay in, and with that attitude, i'm not sure things will ever change for you.

    that sounds harsh, and i hope to god i'm wrong, because you deserve all the happiness in the world, but hoping does nothing. please do yourself a favour and find a way to leave.

    if you're afraid of not meeting someone or being all alone, just join any glbt club/support group/organization. the comradery from the shared experiences is palpable. if you open yourself up, you'd be surprised just how many people are feeling just as alone as you are, and will love you for who you really are on the inside. but no one can love the real you, if you choose not to show yourself (or only show a part or fake part of yourself).

    Break down those mental barriers. You deserve to be loved. Please take a risk hun and jump right in - it can only get better.
     
  12. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    Hokay, here's the rest of the article. There's just a little bit left. This comes before that list in the original post.


    >>>Insert story of a friend called Matt who was closeted and broke up a friendship with the author, Nathan because he was ashamed that he was attracted to him.<<<

    I realized that my best friend, the love of my life was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. I became angry, depressed, and suicidal. I wanted to blame everyone and everything around me for the destruction of our friendship: the Christian school that we were attending, for trying to fill our heads with its religiously homophobic BS. All of our friends from school who always called anyone with a slightly different viewpoint on life a "faggot".

    I was pissed at Matt's family, who were also quite homophobic. No wonder Matt could never come out of the closet and explore his sexuality, with all these horrible influences repressing and scaring him. Matt was doomed to the dark, dusty corridors of the closet, forever! And it was all society's fault! All of it!

    Fuck that! It's all one giant BS excuse! Now, after I've looked back and analyzed the situation a billion times, I realize its all just one huge pile of sad excuses. There was only one thing at fault for Matt not being able to come out fo the closet. Actually, one person: Matt. Yes... Matt.

    Now at this point you're probably all saying, "What a bastard that Nathan is! He blames the victim of society for being a victim!"

    Yes I do! And if that makes me a bastard in your eyes, well, great! Think what you want! But just read what I have to say now, and really think about it, and you may change your mind.

    The closet. A gay, lesbian, or bisexual person's personal hell. Being in the closet means keeping completely silent about one's sexual orientation and desires or interests. Yes, I said interests. There are even people who are too frightened to explore their interests in hobbies.

    There is the closet skateboarder, who is too afraid of getting harassed by police for skateboarding in the park, and too frightened of his grandmother because she will think he's a punk if he stands on a board with four wheels. There's the closet raver, who wants to just dance and free themselves so badly from the shell they live in, but too afraid to head out to the dance floor because "oh i can't dance, and everyone will laugh at me!".

    The main difference between the closet interest and the closet sexual orientation is this: Most people, even though some cannot, willingly and naturally express their interests in hobbies like sports, movies and recreation. In fact, people are so proud of their interests that they slap bumper stickers like "Chicks dig me cause I play Rugby!", on their cars. Americans are adamant about expressing themselves.

    Then why the hell is it that people staple their mouths shut when it comes to the most important aspect of their lives? Their sexuality is the definition of who they are and who they love.

    >>> Insert list from first post here.<<<

    Its up to all of us to change the attitudes of society. Through visibility and outcry, we can do this! Let this be the year you come out of the closet and stop living a lie.
     
  13. Wyatt

    Wyatt Guest

    Except who you fuck IS who you are. Everything you do, or do not do, defines clearly who you are. Your actions, your behavior, your words, your attitude and your interaction with other individuals, combined, depict your true self.

    You want people to love you, yet ignore a very important part of your life? Do you not think you are asking for too much?
     
  14. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    mmm i think likkle was agreeing with general concept of coming out being a good thing <3

    i think you're both on the same side here :mamoru:
     
  15. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    I remember when I didn't have a girlfriend for...well, at all in high school, my father told me that if I thought I might be gay then I'd better get on with finding out for sure instead of stifling it. Of course, my whole family's a little strange, in comparison to what the stereotypical Republican family is like, so that suggestion was pretty much par for the course.

    I certainly understand internal conflict, having had my share of it in the past, but where do you live that you have to fight against society in order to be gay? In all the urban centers in the US, it's perfectly acceptable and even serves as a ticket into your very own subculture. It's just the politicians and the Bible-thumpers that make such a big stink over it, though they certainly don't do much to stop it.
     
  16. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    canardian, in the suburbs near toronto, most of my entire community and my family is uber religious :hsugh: and my family took me to church for 18 years; and to top it all off, my uncle is a pastor
     
  17. XPX

    XPX New Member

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    Many thanks for the suggestion, I think this is a slow process since its only a few weeks since I started to accept myself in front of others online....I have yet to do this offline. Wanna hear the kick of it? I have two best friends, a guy and a girl and the guy is gay :noes:...sometimes I feel I'm wasting his wisdom, sometimes I feel he knows, sometimes I feel bad for not being honest....but it's a step that I fear to death, once you tell someone about this you can't go back and in a country like this (Venezuela) you can't just move to an accepting city because there is no accepting city. People here don't bash gays to death but is certainly looked down and I don't want to carry that cross upon my shoulders with all the other crosses....it's too heavy. What am I doing to feel better? This, talking about my stuff online :hs:

    Oh well...time will tell...:hs:
    Thanks! :wavey:
     
  18. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    aw babe :hugs:
     
  19. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    resurrection for a good thread
    i liked this post, so sorry for the year old bump
     
  20. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...I'd actually like an update.
     
  21. sholnay

    sholnay New Member

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    i was reading this goin - who the hell are some of these people...

    one hit wonders i guess? :dunno:
     
  22. stolid_agnostic

    stolid_agnostic One who is both stolid and agnostic. Get a diction

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    i thought you TOLD him!!!!! :dunno:
     
  23. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    wow, zombie thread :) I can't believe that was only a year ago.

    Since then i've outed myself to my family and all my friends, and it stunk at first, but its become much better, now i just found out that my dad's been objecting when anyone makes a gay joke at his work :h5:

    i've now got a gay and a lesbian friend with whom i plan to move in with this Sept, i'm openly out in my university as well, have been on my first gay date and got picked up in a bar (yay) :p

    it feels like my life is finally moving along! i felt like i was stuck on "pause" for so very long, while everyone else got to "play". the next step is to find a boyfriend, and ace the rest of my classes so that i can move overseas and practice... wish me luck :)
     
  24. camarosrool

    camarosrool yes i am

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    lol yeah, blast from the past thanks to searches

    i know the feeling about parents dissaproving

    my mom is finally accepting my boyfriend
    we've been together 7 months now
    she asks how he is and hugs him when she sees him

    this is from the lady that screamed that gay is an abomination to me a year before
     

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