SRS not sure where to meet friends, i have almost none..getting lonely

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by quamen, Dec 10, 2005.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Im about to turn 24 this month and i was just thinking im a pretty lonely person. Im your average guy,average looking, part time college student who lives a very lonely life. I do have a couple good friends, but we never do anything. There really into the computer games and never go out and do anyhting besides with the gf once in a while. There really great guys, younger than me like 19 but that isnt the big deal I guess.

    I have alot of ambition and im a very busy person. I own a small business that is seasonal and work another very good paying job in the winter. I just find on my days off im either doing more work on business stuff or doing work in general. I never go out,because i dont know where to really go. Im not a big drinker,but im also kind of a shy person at first.

    I thought college would be great, which it is but i can only attend night school a couple days a week, and i find most people to be either much older, or not many people at all in my class or again younger like 18. It seems like a no win situation. I just feel really lonely at times, and wish i had more of a social life and active life. My gf who I loved so much i left her because she cheated on me,no it is just me.

    I do have alot of activites I like to do, but usually they consist of just me doing them because there not a multipeson activity. I never get any phone calls because i dont really know anyone, and i just wish i could have some fun.

    Im rambling now and just really confused with myself right now. I have a good life, a good family and a good job, but no one to share good times with or any significant other. I also find myself getting really moody lately and snapping at my family,im assuming because im just really depressed about everything and being alone.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I know this guy who's called 'Apollo ' for gods sake, and he was the manager of some busy supermarket , and was absolutely absorbed into his work ,when he had a day off , he still came to his job because he had nothing in his life, exept work. So ask yourself the question

    ' do you live to work, or do you work to live '

    You going for the diamond all your life ,while you should settle for the brass and living a humble life, would increase your time for having a social life, life is OUT THERE and not behind your computer, or behind some desk. Go out have a beer, and keep it cozy. Don't expect in life that stuff happens out of nothing for no reason, life is what you make it. Just organise a party or something, and point out some days in your schedule where you go to a gig, movie, party, dance parade, and fill your life with people.
     
  3. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    You're a lot like me. Let's face it, you're not going to suddenly change your routine to go host a party.

    But I tell you what....don't force it. Forcing yourself to find friends is near impossible. These things just kind of happen as soon as you stop looking for it.

    I've noticed that a few times already... when I'm having the lonely mood you're having, it's a self fulfilling prophecy, I end up being the type of person nobody wants to be around. One day I thought, "shit, I'm just going to get my own act in order and leave the other stuff to fate"....sure enough, new friends, new clients, new relationships.

    Stop looking, find peace in where you are in life right now and realize it's OK to be alone every once in a while in your life.

    Once you find that security and happiness, I think we just subconciously show that in our body language and then people will flock to you. At that point, all you need to do to make new friends is show geniune interest in them and enjoy their company. Age shouldn't be a factor.
     
  4. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    Less thinking, more doing.
     
  5. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Meet people through group activities. At a college, even if you're going to night school, there will be plenty of groups centered around politics, interests, hobbies, etc. Look at the bulletin boards, get a school newspaper/bulletin, and pick a group to join.

    The other way to meet friends is through friends you already have. Hang out in groups with them.

    Whats more... stop disqualifying people for whatever reason: too old, too young, whatever. Make friends with an old guy. Some of them are cool. Make friends with an... 18 year old girl. Some of them are cool. And you know... fresh meat. My point is that you are making excuses, when what you really need is practice to develop those social skills and overcome your social anxiety. Be open, communicative, happy and friendly to people around you, wherever you are, and you'll find that you can call many people friends. Only don't be so choosy. If you go around disqualifying people... they can tell. They don't like it. Befriend everyone you meet, in some small way. SMILE.

    Today... just try to do this to one person. Talk to them. Someone in class. Whatever. Tomorrow... do it again. Remember: practice.
     
  6. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    quamen

    First off, congratulations on having the cajunas to ditch the cheater even though you cared for her. That took some balls and it was the right move. Never let anyone abuse you and your trust that way. If they do and you take them back then you are a doormat person and it will happen again.

    Second, to fix you social skills you are going to have to ditch all of your excuses. You have to have the initiative to do it. If you make up an excuse or find ways that you can't work it into your schedule then yes, you will always be lonely in this way. It takes motivation and effort to fix this social situation.

    Having said that, it's time to pick up a hobby. Either join a gym like the YMCA and work out, or join the YMCA for a sport like volleyball or something like that. In doing so you will meet both men and women. Even if you are not into this thing, it is still a good way to get yourself out there and meet people.
     

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