SRS Not sure whats going on...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by machazure, Jan 25, 2005.

  1. machazure

    machazure New Member

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    I am 18 and a freshman in college and first of all I am posting this here because I don't feel comfortable talking to any of my friends or family about this because I don't want them to think of me as "weak" or something...

    Anyways, I have had two serious relationships so far. My first I ended up breaking off and it hardly effected me for over a week after the end (lasted just over a year).

    My second relationship ended about two months ago and she broke it off (relationship only lasted 2.5 months btw)... ended on good terms however. The problem is since then I have lost all motivation for school and just about everything else.... in high school I had a solid 4.0 GPA and was an honor student... now i barely have a 3.0 in college.... i never have the motivation to study or do work because i can not stop thinking about her...almost EVERYTHING reminds me of her in someway and it is almost too much for me to bare sometimes...and I know there are plenty of girls out there, especially in college, but I just can not let go of this one

    the breakup has caused a loss of motivation for me, lack of interest in other people, i have been rude/jackass toward my friends and family, cannot stop missing her even after two months

    I just dont know what to do...and I dont really have any friends I can talk to about this because they either 1)are immature 2) have no relationship experience 3)think its stupid that i havent gotten over her yet
     
  2. shankems2000

    shankems2000 If you read everybody's user text and location, yo

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    You just have to try to let go. Unless you can think of some way to get her back then that's the ONLY thing you can do. You can't fuck up in school, throw away your future for one girl!! You have to ask yourself is she REALLY worth all the pain you're going through, is she really worth possibly flunking out of school and having to start from scratch??

    You know the answer to that so you have to move on man.
     
  3. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    College life is about growing up, you know the decisions that you must make to succeed. You can do this.

    http://www.campusblues.com/
     
  4. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_60/98_dating_girl.html <-- read that.

    now read this --> http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/44_dating_advice.html

    this one is good reading too, even if it doesn't always turn out to be true. in the earliest stages of a breakup it's very true: http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi/33_dating_girl.html

    now, for the most important reading, since this is where you have taken a big hit.
    your ego and self performance: http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith/25b_dating_advice.html read paragraph 5.

    bookmark 'em. reread them if necessary. find something else to focus on. there is another really really good article on askmen.com, that I can't find at the moment, but it hits the nail right on the head about the male ego when a relationship ends that they didn't have the control in it.

    lord knows I've had similar issues in my past - for one, the women that one usually has the deepest of connections with - if you haven't married them, then they usually ended the relationship. makes it even harder.
     
  5. PoultryMagic

    PoultryMagic If I can't be my own...I'd feel better dead.

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    instead of concentrating on how to forget this girl, perhaps you should try becoming distracted by going out with new friends, or some other activity. You will be reminded of her, yes, but less and less often as you experience new things...

    college is a great time in most people's lives...don't let it go to waste.
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    ^^^ that's right. College can be magic, if you let it be. No, make that, if you dedicate yourself to making something of that time. Probably nothing good at all will happen if you just lay about and wait for things to happen.

    Take charge. Grab the reins. YOU are in charge of your life, after all. If not you, then who.

    Be one of those people who look back on college and remember it as an awesome time filled with good people, great friends, wacky times, and of course, a lot of hooking up.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    I wasted most of my college time and money on coke and booze and whores, and I gotta tell you: I don't recommend it. All you wind up with are shit-pants hangovers, dirty sheets, empty bank accounts, bankrupt morals, and syphillis.

    Get involved. Meet your professors. Stay after class to comment and ask questions. Make sure they know who you are. This can lead to reasearch assistant positions and recommendations.

    Meet your classmates. Study with them. Even if you don't have to. Pick a club/organization. Join it. Go to meetings.

    Hang around campus even when you don't have to. Go to the libary and research things that interest you.

    Avoid coke and booze and whores.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    I think the right rate of hooking up is 2-3 per year.

    More than that and you spend too much time juggling things like her feelings, forgotten birthdays, blah blah. And too much time in the hookup/cool-down phase, and as quantity goes up, quality has to go down. Be selective.

    Remember you are still there to study and snag that degree.

    Plus girls talk and the quality ones don't necessarily want a player, so avoid that rep.

    Less than that, and you're into the serial monogamy thing, and the come down from that is HARD brotha. That's the last thing you want just before finals when she skips off for some dirtbag. You don't need that.

    Heavy relationships aren't really to your best advantage, just like too many too-light ones are draining on you as well.

    2-3 per year. Long enough so you can hook-up any time, booty calls are no problem, and you can still make the most of your time at school.
     

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