Not sure what to do

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by vizyn, Apr 16, 2009.

  1. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    Little bit of a backstory involved..

    So there's this girl I somewhat grew up with that lives down the street from my Aunt's/Uncle's house. They tend to throw parties/gatherings all the time and invited neighbors as well as family and with her being the same age as my cousin and I we naturally ended up hanging out at these things. I had a crush on her growing up but never let on about it. We lost touch in late high-school/college.

    In early January I went home for my aforementioned cousin's wedding and she was there. We chatted for quite a while and she mentioned she was coming down to NYC (which is where I live/work now, she's still away at grad school). I told her to get in touch with me when she made it down and she did... we ended up going out a few nights and hooked up..

    Since that weekend she started non-stop texting me even when I didn't respond. She sent me a package for my birthday filled with candy and inside-joke related items. She has continued to talk to me all the time and talks about coming back down to the city. She's already decided to book a trip in May and just informed me she'll be heading down this weekend with a friend...

    The problem is I get a sense of expectation from her, and I'm not sure exactly what she expects... we had fun when she was here but I wasn't looking for anything to really come of it, especially considering she lives a good 7 hours away. I'm also recently out of a somewhat LTR and have been dating casually and really want to stay uncommitted being the first time I've really been single in almost 6 years.

    I guess I'm just not sure how to handle the situation.. am I just overthinking this? Making something out of nothing? Should I talk to her about it before she comes and if so how do I even go about bringing it up without having any idea what her expectations/thoughts are? I guess what makes it weird for me is that our families are friends and see each other semi-frequently. I feel like if it were any other girl it wouldn't be nearly as big of a deal to me..

    Cliffs: Girl I grew up with visited, we hooked up, she lives far, seems to be sending signals she expects something, I'm not interested in anything more, plans to visit again, just informed me she's visiting this weekend, don't know how to handle it.
     
  2. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    uh oh.
     
  3. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Tell her now, before you can't later.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    She's coming down with a friend, so you'll be able to figure out her agenda rather easily I would guess. Like if her friend suddenly has to go somewhere by her/himself (so you 2 are alone) then you might have a problem.

    I say don't say anything until after this weekend, see how it plays out and you'll probably have a better understanding of what needs to be done by the end of the weekend.
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure I understand why you have a problem with this girl being into you. I'm all for not leading her on, but you don't sound like you don't want to date her- more like you're scared to for some reason.
     
  6. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    he said he does not want to committ bc of his previous LTR. im pretty sure he wants to keep having fun w. her but does not want her as a "girlfriend".

    TS, when you said you "hooked up" did you have sex?
     
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Yeah, I mean I get that, but I don't really believe it. Sounds to me more like he's scared and not that he is genuinely uninterested.

    I say keep on with it and see where it goes unless you're sure you actually aren't interested in this girl.
     
  8. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    This. Even if I wasn't opposed to getting into a relationship right now I'd still only be interested in her physically.

    No, she made it pretty clear when I had reached her limit for that evening.
     
  9. vizyn

    vizyn New Member

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    Part of the reason I feel somewhat compelled to proactively clear things up is that she's even mentioned moving down to the city for the summer and I'd rather nip any expectations she has in the bud now rather than later.
     
  10. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    oh ok..... i wouldnt be too worried about this. just see what happens next time she comes to see you. if she starts to only wanna hang with you, snuggles up against you, etc. you should tell her ASAP so you're not stringing her along.
     
  11. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    .
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    The answer is simple. You have to proactively just tell her you are not looking for a relationship. Get it out of the way ASAP.
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    You should be telling her this.
     
  14. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Wait a second... your name's like mine :squint:
     
  15. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    :rofl:
     

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