SRS Not sure what is going on. Need some advice OT

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Golden89, Dec 29, 2009.

  1. Golden89

    Golden89 New Member

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    Alright, well here's the story.
    September 1st I left for BCT for the army and I left a girlfriend that I had been with at that time for about a year and a half, and it was alright during the time that I was there, I mean she was really upset and I can't say it was the easiest thing for me either but we got through it. So now I'm back on 2 week leave for Christmas and its been alright while I've been back but there's been a few bumps in the road with it. I mean like for like the first week that I was back we were together pretty much the whole time. There's a problem, now of course I didn't get a chance to see my family or friends let alone talk to them at all during the time that I was gone and so of course I would like to be able to spend some time with my family, especially my grandfather and one of my uncles due to the fact that they were former army so we had a lot to talk about, but yet that night she was there and she just left because she said I was ignoring her when I was just talking to some family and its not like I just simply left her alone, she was right next to me until she said she needed to get something and low and behold she just left.

    Now today, I was visiting a few friends and no she wasn't there this time. Of course at one point she was texting me and I told her I probably wasn't going to be able to text back a lot because we were busy, and well of course now she's pissed off for some ungodly reason and I don't know what the fuck to do, excuse my language, like just simply cause I understand that she wants to see me before I have to leave again on the 2nd but I also would like to see my family and friends and be able to talk to them. We have never had this problem before. I don't know what happened while I was gone.

    Does anyone have any advice as to how to handle this and/or what exactly to do about this.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I'll give you some advice, the reason why things are going wrong is because you haven't learned how a womans mind works. In other words, you don't understand her because you think you do understand her and her situation, you think that because you haven't come to the knowledge that you are blind, blind to the details ,and to be more specific to the artificial aspect of the world,in which magic does not exist, but only the facts of reality. What kind of details? plenty but in your case just follow the following guidelines,

    More down to earth: A woman is like a explosive device of which you must ensure yourself that it does not explode at all cost. A womans selfishness is particular, if she feels that she is left out and you go running about and just do whatever you want, she will start getting angry. Why is this so? Its because the most important thing on what a woman envisions for her life, is being together with someone who has a future for her.

    To you, this sounds like absolute non-sense, why couldn't you visit and talk to family, its nothing special, its normal, and quite frankly you are right, it should be normal. NOT for her.

    Here is how you should do it, faillure to do it even once will again result in her anger. Its madness but it goes like this, Ask her permission on doing all the things you do, even better said it comes down on agreeing together on all the things that you do. Its ok to have a schedule , but you have to discuss it with her, in this way she becomes part of your life, and i tell you that she will appreciate it.

    A husbands job looks actually more on that of a punctual secretary then that of a hunter or warrior. You need to arrange things, you cant go out 'la la la' and do whatever you want.

    The poor arrangements is why things are getting messed up in your life, this can be solved thru logical arrangments, but its like a horse, you can't let it run loose, you need to keep it tight in the ropes and stay on the saddle on to it.
     
  3. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I was like this at the beginning of our relationship, and don't get me wrong I will still happily spend every waking minute with my husband.

    How did my husband handle it? He just kept repeating to me that spending time with friends/family was not him running away from ME, but running toward them.
    He told me that it wasn't that he didn't want to hang out with me, but that he wanted to spend time with them. Because that's how I saw it. I saw it as him not wanting to sopend time with me. I know better now :)
     
  4. redlonicera

    redlonicera New Member

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    Speaking as a happily married woman whose husband does this--You are absolutely right.



    --I was with someone who went into the military after we'd been dating for a couple years. I was so insecure and ...emotional that he was in the military so he could get away from me that I pretty much made his life hell for a few months. Finally he managed to convince me that he wasn't leaving me...he was leaving to make a better life for himself & me too. We broke up anyway a year after that but whatever.
    Keep your girl updated on what you're doing & make sure she understands that you need you family as much as you need her. You need air to breathe & water to drink. You can't live on one alone & neither could she.
     
  5. HatSee

    HatSee Active Member

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    Crazy talk, do what's important.

    If you have two weeks leave then why in the heck are you going to spend any of it sucking up to a psychotic woman? If your family means anything to you then she should know that you'd want to spend time with them, that and friends, you've known them far longer than her. She should be attempting to get into your life, not trying to pull you away from it.

    Does she ask to tag along? Meet them all? Or does she just run away and cry?
     

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