Not sure I can get her back this time...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sybian, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    My girlfriend and I have been having spats on and off but we always seem to bounce back. This time however I don't think that we can.

    Last night she was at a Halloween party with her sister and a guy that she claims to be gay. Anyhow, they had these American Gladiator style jousting sticks where you know how you have to stand on these pillars and try to knock the other person off. She and her sister were jousting when her sister hit her in the hand really hard by accident and possibly sprained her thumb.

    Anyway she leaves the party but the guy and her sister stay. She calls me on the phone to tell me about what happened. About 10 minutes into the conversation that guy calls her up and asks if he can come over and use her bathroom and take a look at her hand.

    Keep in mind I'm very wasted. I had been drinking all night and in my right mind this probably wouldn't have bothered me so much. So I say, "WTF, he can't use a bathroom somewhere else? And what, is he a doctor? WTF does he know about a sprained thumb?". The reason I flip is because she's always with this dude. She tells me that she's too busy with school to hang out with me, but I always here about them going to eat, going grocery shopping, whatever. Anyway, she gets mad and hangs up on me of course. I try to call back but her phone is turned off.

    I get even more pissed so I jump in my car and rocket down there. When I get there she's alone so I call her on her phone and ask her to let me in. We start arguing about this guy and his intentions. She goes up and down about him being gay. At that point she asks me to leave. I get even more pissed, hock one up and spit in her face. I call her a whore and a cunt, then she calls security and has me escorted off the campus.

    I mean, there's no need to lay into me, I know I fucked up big time. I've already vowed never to take another sip of alcohol because when I do, shit like this always happens. I've even considered getting some therapy for my trust issues.

    She's scared to death. She thinks that I would have hurt her. Of course I never would have. If I was going to hit her, I would have a long time ago. I don't believe in that. The point is, I want her back. I made a mistake. Do you think she could ever forgive me?
     
  2. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    I'd bet on no. I'd say she was stuipd if she does. At least you realize you need help with the drinking. I'd strongly suggest doing something about that based on this statment:

     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    My thoughts. Your reactions to her spending all the time with the other guy are understandable, it's difficult to see that as being harmless, because she is with another guy, and even if he is guy, we still react on base instinct to that. I think we can all sympathize with you there.

    However, it seems like she may have been making more time for her friends than for you, which could have been unfair. Perhaps a better way to talk about it would have been to not make the argument be about her spending time with another guy, but that you felt like she was spending more time with her friends than with you.

    Don't even try to get back with her. If someone actually got so angry that they spit in my face, I would have nothing to do with them ever again. Obviously the alcohol didn't help the situation...and she did obviously feel very threatened by this. You say you wouldn't hit her, but if the drinking is a problem....well, I'm afraid you might actually get to that line and cross it eventually.

    I think the best thing you can do is move on, and use this as a lesson and motivation to better yourself.
     
  4. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Jesus Christ dude. :eek4:
     
  5. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    Awful right? I don't know what came over me.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It might be worthwhile to look into anger management type stuff as well as help with the drinking. It could be just the alcohol, but it could be some of both, so it probably wouldn't hurt to look into it.
     
  7. MudFlap

    MudFlap Guest

    Neh dude dont be hard on yourself.. just move on and learn on your mistakes... all of us do crazy shit like that :)
     
  8. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Without knowing what type of girl she is, it is hard to tell you if she will come back or not.

    If she generally forgives abusiveness (which is what this was, even if it was mostly verbal), then she probably will. If she is a strong woman and won't take that treatment, then she probably won't. All women are different, so there is no sure answer we can give without knowing her.
     
  9. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    Ive spit on my BF's face once. We were in the car, him driving, having a huge fight, he wouldnt pull over so I could get out and was being a defiant nasty prick...the next time he turned to yell at me, I spit in his face......

    That made him pull over and let me out, mission accomplished.

    No, I dont think it was the nice thing to do, yes, I had to apologize many times for it. I dont know what came over me, I suppose extreme anger and more so frustration.

    If she cares for you, I think she'll get over it also. You, however, need to know for a fact that you can get over her dicking you for someone else, be it a gay man or not...as lies are lies.

    Sounds like you both need to figure out if its worth it.
     
  10. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

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    I dont think I'd ever forgive someone for spitting on me.
     
  11. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    Well you said don't lay into you, which I think is lame, that you can't even be mature enough to face hearing shit about your ridiculous actions, but I'll leave it be with that.

    And to answer your question, I would never speak to anyone that did that to me again. You treated her like complete shit, it didn't sound like your relationship as a whole was that great either, and if she has any sense of self respect, pride, or intelligence, she will walk away and never look back.

    You have alot of issues you need to work out before you can be in a functional relationship, from the sound of it.
     
  12. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    haha wow holy shit. you spat her in her face and called her a whore. if she takes you back.. wow.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :wtf:
     
  14. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    yeah thats what im thinking. thats pretty damn disrespectful. she shouldnt give you another chance.
     
  15. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    :ugh:

    yeh, i probably wouldnt tolerate that situation.
     
  16. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    oh my god i cant stop laughing. :rofl:
     
  17. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    It was the most fucked up thing I've ever done. I'm actually pretty devastated. I'm calling 6 different psychiatrists tomorrow morning.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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  19. Sybian

    Sybian She's with me...

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    UPDATE: I'm enrolled in an Anger Management class that starts Wednesday. I spoke with my girl last night over the phone. She's adamant about the break-up and I don't blame her really. I apologized again. We both cried and said our goodbyes. She says that she'll be in contact with me over AIM so we'll see what happens from there.
     
  20. Lindsay Loo

    Lindsay Loo ミ★ Mikel's POZ Partner ミ★

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    good luck with all that. i think its more than anger management that you should be worried about. obviously you have a lot of insecuriies that need to be worked on. remember actions speak louder than words and shes probably gonna be the hardest to convince that youre doing any better.
     
  21. spitfire

    spitfire New Member

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    I totally agree with the whole gay guy thing,i mean i doubt my girl wud be happy if i hung out like that with a gay girl,but they expect you to be totally cool about it.Good luck with the classes
     
  22. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    She would be completely stupid to take you back. You spit in her face, called her a whore, and what I think is the worst thing you could ever call a woman - a cunt. You're lucky she didn't punch you in the face and then have you escorted out. Get help for your drinking, and consider this a learning experience. If I were you, before even talking to this girl again, I would get help for my issues.. Because people don't always mean what they say and actually doing it is a big step, let alone means that you know you've fucked up and you're attempting to work on it. If she decides to take you back then, I wish you the best of luck. If she doesn't, move on and make sure not to treat another woman, let alone human being, like that again.
     
  23. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

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    well this is good, you need it :o

    she'd be crazy to take you back though. maybe you can fix this problem and find a new girl and treat her better :hs:
     
  24. GABOS

    GABOS Active Member

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    yeah because thats a really smart thing to do to someone who is wasted and angry :ugh2:
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Good. you have our full support on this, don't hesitate to come here or to the Asylum to talk about this stuff.

    Props to you man.
     

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