SRS Not sure how to help friend with suicidal thoughts

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by advertisingguru, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. advertisingguru

    advertisingguru New Member

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    I have a friend who tells me at the end of every phone conversation that he's going to go swim in the lake or drive his car into the lake. He's been saying this for weeks, possibly months (haven't quite kept track). I usually respond by saying oh, don't say that, whatever, etc. The reason I don't take it seriously when he says it is because he is known in our group of friends to be a very negative person. I've known him for a couple of years but one of our mutual friends has known him for more than 10 years and says he's always been like this. He is 28.

    I had a talk with our group of friends recently so that we can finally think of a way to help him. He goes to a therapist but it doesn't seem to be helping. He's never been to a psychiatrist or been on meds, so maybe that's what he really needs.

    He is also in love with a girl who severed contact with him more than two years ago (they were never more than friends by the way). He's pretty obsessive about it and doesn't understand why she stopped talking to him. He says he still cares about her.

    So...I know this a pretty loaded question..but what do we do?

    If it helps, he also comes from a family that isn't familiar with mental health issues and didn't seek help for him when he was a child.
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    #1, realize there's nothing you can directly do that will help.

    you should tell the family what he's saying, and they should tell the therapist.

    if I was you I'd start by telling the family what he's saying and ending with "and it's scaring me, because I think he might be serious" so they get the idea that it's not just kids being stupid.
     
  3. advertisingguru

    advertisingguru New Member

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    Can his family get involved when he is now 28?
     
  4. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I would hope they'd try like hell to involve themselves.

    You said he goes to a therapist...there's nothing keeping his family from telling the therapist what he's saying.
     
  5. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Personally I would tell him to cut the shit and stop play-threatening to kill himself, he's a grown man and he should deal with his problems directly. This doesn't sound like an instance where touchy-feely sympathetic concern is warranted, but instead to call him on his bullshit and tell him to man up.

    The guy sounds to me like he's addicted to external validation because it's easier than self-validation. I think that's the issue that really needs to get resolved. Who still dotes on a woman that they haven't seen in years?
     
  6. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    If you and your friends care as a group, getting together and doing an intervention of sorts, would be a wise move. Having the family there as well would help. When someone keeps threatening suicide it, eventually they will make the attempt.

    Get everyone involved and when you do, have each person discuss how his behavior affects them, and what they'd like to see happens to improve his quality of life.
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    this is all absolutely, entirely, 100% wrong.
     
  8. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Call a suicide hotline and ask them what to do. They will be able to provide you with tools about what to say and so on.
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Good idea, I did this with someone recently. They gave me ideas how to help.

    Hotline Phone: 1-800-784-2433
     

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