SRS Not sure how to deal with this one...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FindersKeepers, Dec 5, 2006.

  1. FindersKeepers

    FindersKeepers New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    8,974
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, Florida
    Not sure how to deal with this one... v TRANSLATION PLEASE???

    I'm currently seeing a girl who has an 18 month old Daughter, they are both great. I knew this girl in High school and I wanted her then, when I graduated we lost contact for 3 years then by some weird act... We're talking, then hanging out, then dating...

    She's told me she's very comfortable with me and feels very confident about me

    Up until yesterday most of this looked, felt, sounded, tasted true.... Usually I'm pretty good at picking stuff up.

    Friday we were out on a date, I had cooked dinner for her (Penne Pasta with Chicken Parmasean) and we went to catch a movie downtown... When we were leaving the movie she had a panic attack, the place we were at, her daughters biological father had a job at Bennigans across the street... She felt odd when we were walking to the movie, shekept looking around nervously, she walked fast, and her grip on my hand tightened. That night, was also out first lip kiss (Been taking this slow, started hand, cheek, then lips).

    We had promised each other, that due to the nature of this relationship with the added stress of the baby, that we would tell each other if either of us had started to freak out...

    Yesterday we talk, and things seem ok but later in the evening she gets on aim and says "Remember how we told each other we'd talk if we were freaking out"
    me: yeah
    her "well I am now..."

    Here is the AIM conversation earlier in the day, then where all the sad and confusion start.

    the April is my little sister, she witnessed a kid get hit by a car in front of their high school yesterday and tried to help him as he died in the road... so she was pretty torn up.

    Rachael: whats up?
    Rachael: lol
    Rachael: BOO!
    JCHARGU3: that scared me, i have certain noises for certain people when they signed on, and the game was reallllly quiet so I turned it up to hear it and then your noise came on REWALLY loud and scared me
    Rachael: lol
    Rachael: whats my noise?
    JCHARGU3: At the moment, it is a jingle noise, like christmas bells
    Rachael: oh, kool
    JCHARGU3: tim is the south park "TIMMMAYYY"
    Rachael: lol
    Rachael: thats great
    JCHARGU3: and that's it
    Rachael:
    JCHARGU3: so how is your back
    Rachael: eh, it got a little tight today
    JCHARGU3: How long have Carlos and Jess been seeing each other?
    Rachael: carlo and jess have been dating for.... a couple months i think
    JCHARGU3: ooh
    Rachael: yeah, it took him a while to win her over
    JCHARGU3: i see... Let's hope he doesn't screw up then
    Rachael: i dont think so
    Rachael: she has him wrapped around her little finger
    JCHARGU3: lol looked a little like it
    JCHARGU3: Chef Boyardee is what i mean... lol
    Rachael: yup
    Rachael: i think she takes advantage a little
    JCHARGU3: oh boy
    Rachael:
    JCHARGU3: welll, if he's willing.,.....
    Rachael: yup
    JCHARGU3: does he smoke?
    Rachael: um....
    Rachael: i cant remember
    Rachael: yes!
    Rachael: yes he does
    JCHARGU3: thought I smelled it a little.
    Rachael: but he's good about it i think
    Rachael: he helped us move, and didnt smoke once
    JCHARGU3: Cool
    Rachael: yeah
    Rachael: i couldnt date someone that smoked
    JCHARGU3: Neither could I
    JCHARGU3: What's going on on your side of town?
    Rachael: i dunno
    JCHARGU3: anything exciting other than talking to me?
    Rachael: oh, looking for a good 21st birthday pic to leave for ash
    JCHARGU3: oooi
    JCHARGU3: More excitedment then here Why aren't you watching heros?
    Rachael: crap!
    JCHARGU3: Uh oh, I distracted you.. sorry, go watch the show.. I'll be here
    JCHARGU3: i'm bored playing minesweeper
    Rachael: LOL
    Rachael: i gotta find something before i go
    Rachael: i gotta be the first one
    JCHARGU3: Yeah
    JCHARGU3: when is her birthday? tomorrow?
    Rachael: yeah
    JCHARGU3: wow so it's me, calo, ( don't know of anyone today) ashley then you.
    ATTENTION: Direct IM session .
    ATTENTION: Direct IM session initiated. What is this?
    Rachael: hey, can you host this pic for me?
    JCHARGU3: yep
    Rachael: thank you!!!
    JCHARGU3: You're welcome, let me find it now lol
    Rachael:
    JCHARGU3: When are you going out with your girls?
    Rachael: dont really know.... but amy and i are going out tomorrow night
    JCHARGU3: ooo
    Rachael: yup
    JCHARGU3: PIC*
    Rachael: thats huge
    Rachael: can i make it smaller to post on her page?
    JCHARGU3: I can shrink it
    Rachael: sorry!
    JCHARGU3: one moment
    JCHARGU3: Nah, only takes a second
    Rachael: thank you
    JCHARGU3: PIC*
    JCHARGU3: better?
    Rachael: it looks the same....
    JCHARGU3: push f5
    Rachael: no change
    JCHARGU3: odd i shrunk it iun half.. let me change one thing
    Rachael: k
    JCHARGU3: PIC*
    Rachael: thank you@
    Rachael: !*
    JCHARGU3: You're welcome
    Rachael: ok, i'm gunna post this and get off
    Rachael: talk to you tomorrow! thanx again
    Rachael:
    JCHARGU3: ok, if your back starts hurting let me know!
    Rachael: good night hun
    JCHARGU3: Goodnight dear sleep well

    Rachael: sleep well!
    JCHARGU3: I will thanks
    Rachael: night
    ATTENTION: Direct IM session disconnected.
    ot signed off at 9:26:27 PM.
    ot is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
    JCHARGU3: what happened to bed time?
    Rachael: didnt happen yet

    Auto Response from JCHARGU3: Playing a game for a bit.... Text me and i'll come back

    JCHARGU3: lol i see that
    Rachael: heros ended... it was a good one!
    JCHARGU3: ok, I just got home from taking april to the store.
    Rachael: last one til the end of jan
    Rachael: how is she?
    JCHARGU3: How was yoru tire today I meant to ask you, then i'll leave you be
    JCHARGU3: She's... ok
    JCHARGU3: a little rough.... I took her to Dairy Queen. that made smiles
    Rachael: thats good
    Rachael: i forgot to check my tire
    Rachael: oh! guess what i found out today
    Rachael: lol
    JCHARGU3: i doubt it was my knife... lol
    Rachael: no, still cant find it?
    JCHARGU3: Yeah I found it.. thats why I said that
    JCHARGU3: Lets see thigns to find.
    JCHARGU3: The gold at the end of the rainbow?
    Rachael: no, i found out
    Rachael: i was looking at the internet history at work
    JCHARGU3: oh sorry, didn't see the out.
    Rachael: its all good
    JCHARGU3: oh yeah?
    Rachael: less that two weeks ago
    Rachael: tons and tons of porn
    Rachael: lol
    JCHARGU3: lol.
    Rachael: it cracked me up
    JCHARGU3: anything good?
    Rachael: lol, i didnt visit the sites
    JCHARGU3: ahhh, figured you would be adventerous, lol
    Rachael: nah, i thought about it
    Rachael: but,nah....
    Rachael: my boss is sick though
    JCHARGU3: lol
    Rachael: one of the titles was something about babysitters needing extra money
    JCHARGU3: uh oh
    Rachael: lol
    JCHARGU3: common scenario
    Rachael: oh yeah?
    Rachael: something you run across often?
    Rachael: lol
    JCHARGU3: sometimes at work
    Rachael: i bet
    Rachael: lol
    Rachael: i believe you
    JCHARGU3: lol, tshirt for science people
    JCHARGU3: http://www.webelements-shop.com/product.php/46/0/
    Rachael: oh wow
    Rachael: who would wear that?
    Rachael: other than science teachers
    JCHARGU3: LOLOLOLOLOL
    JCHARGU3: thats funny
    JCHARGU3:
    Omnibus
    Omnibus's Avatar


    Join Date: Aug 2006
    Location: Toronto, Canada
    Posts: 3,021
    Stumbled onto the funniest t-shirt ever v. **PIC**


    WHO WOULD WEAR THIs!?

    http://www.webelements-shop.com/product.php/46/0/
    JCHARGU3:

    oops
    JCHARGU3:
    I was just showing you, the guy that posted it said "Whoi would wear this?!!?!"
    Rachael: oh,lol
    JCHARGU3:
    the someone got smart and said "In during chemistry test"
    Rachael: ah, very tru
    JCHARGU3:
    the place is absolutely crazy
    JCHARGU3:
    There is a section f
    JCHARGU3:
    for everything
    JCHARGU3:
    Tv, new things, sex, music, computers, cars,..etc
    Rachael: thats crazy
    JCHARGU3:
    it is... it's one of those places people don't talk about because it's rule #1
    JCHARGU3:
    right now there are 2183 people online
    Rachael: uh oh
    Rachael: breaking a rule!
    JCHARGU3:
    i don't care if i break rule #1 and get banned, thats one less website to be sucked into lol
    Rachael: lol
    JCHARGU3:
    Here is a prime example of why i go ot this site

    They take pictures and make them funny!
    JCHARGU3:
    http://i14.tinypic.com/4c05qti.jpg
    Rachael: lol
    Rachael: cute
    JCHARGU3:
    it's just off the wall
    JCHARGU3:
    do you like porn?
    Rachael: mmmm.... not so much
    Rachael: do you?
    JCHARGU3:
    not really to be honest
    Rachael: i think i would, if i was in the mood
    JCHARGU3:
    that's about it
    JCHARGU3:
    most of the rest of the time it's too fake lol
    JCHARGU3: like, they write SCRIPTS for these things, its like COME ONNNNN go to acting school or something make it seem more real lol
    Rachael: if they went to acting school, do you think they'd be doing porn?
    JCHARGU3: true
    JCHARGU3: good point, touche, you win
    Rachael: lol
    Rachael: so hey.... slight change of subject
    JCHARGU3: yes?
    Rachael: I came to this decision a while ago
    ATTENTION: Direct IM session .
    ATTENTION: Direct IM session .
    JCHARGU3: oops
    Rachael: i plan on waiting until i get married
    JCHARGU3: I wanted to talk to you about that anyway
    JCHARGU3: Just figured it was more in person
    Rachael: i suppose it is
    Rachael: but we were talking about porn
    Rachael:
    JCHARGU3: lol
    JCHARGU3: trye
    JCHARGU3: true*
    Rachael: ?
    JCHARGU3: I expected that answer considering what happened with addeys biological father
    Rachael: yeah...
    Rachael: remember how we promised we would tell the other if we started freaking out?
    JCHARGU3: That and it's better to know that you really want that and you love the person based on love, and feelings, personality, and life... rather than sex
    JCHARGU3: Yes
    Rachael: i kinda am
    JCHARGU3: oh.. why so?
    Rachael: i dont know... i think i'm worried about addey, and scared of.... everything. after my little panic attack friday... it kinda brought it all back
    JCHARGU3: ooo.
    JCHARGU3: I can understand though.
    Rachael: i dont know what to do
    Rachael: what are you thinking?
    JCHARGU3: what are you most afraid of dear? You getting attached to me and getting hurt, or her getting attached to me then something happening and she's left without a male figure?
    JCHARGU3: or both
    JCHARGU3: or is it note ven then?
    JCHARGU3: that*
    Rachael: both, except not so much the male figure, b/c she has my dad... but i dont want her getting attached to someone that isnt going to stick around... and that may be unrealistic, b/c that will happen eventually anyway
    JCHARGU3: what her getting attached or osmeone not sticking around?
    Rachael: that kinda goes together... i dont mind her getting attached if they stick around
    JCHARGU3: I want to tell you this.
    JCHARGU3: I'm confident about this relationship, yet at the same time completely a little scared too.
    JCHARGU3: and heres why
    JCHARGU3: scared first:
    JCHARGU3: I'm scared that I'll become too attached to you and Adelyn, and then something happen where you may not want me around anymore... if i get attached to her, it'll honestly break me a little... at this very moment I have no problems with her being part of this relationship between us.
    Rachael: ok, understandabkle
    JCHARGU3: I'm confident that this can work, It's going to be slow growth for both of us, i do feel good when we go out wiht Adelyn, I have never thought "i wish it was just Rachael and I" I look at how much you adore her, and how happy she makes you and I just can't have any negative feelings... Now for you, Yu've always had a pretty strong mind since I've known you
    JCHARGU3: and there have been things where you've layed down strongly what you want, and how its going to be.... That is good.. You're not afraid to speak your mind
    JCHARGU3: lol
    Rachael: ok
    JCHARGU3: I've gotta say it though, we promised.
    JCHARGU3: So....
    JCHARGU3: Our first date, I wasn't sure how things would go at first, but as soon as we started walking up to the boardwalk entrance and we had the laugh about steve carell... i relaxed
    JCHARGU3: then as the night went on, things became pretty easy.
    Rachael: very tru
    JCHARGU3: The next time we hung out, it was easy to talk to you, easy to get opinions, and hear your side of things... it was great
    JCHARGU3: and it's still like that, every day so far is like a 1st date, theres more to learn, and more we do learn... (in my opinion)
    JCHARGU3: I went and babbled again
    Rachael: no... i know
    Rachael: we are comfortable together...
    Rachael: i just... dont feel....
    Rachael: i dont feel like i'm there yet.... i think i have to find a way to forgive chris
    Rachael: i dont know what my problem is
    Rachael: i'm scared i guess... i dont deal well with being scared
    Rachael: i have to be in control
    Rachael: ya know?
    JCHARGU3: You have every right to be scared
    JCHARGU3: if i were in your shoes I would be.
    JCHARGU3: You have a very darling little girl to protect, and you have yourself to protect, fear is natural...
    JCHARGU3: especially after this whole thing that happened.
    Rachael: i didnt want it to effect me like this though... i didnt want to let him effect my life ever again
    JCHARGU3: Thats why i'm here
    JCHARGU3: lol
    Rachael: i think i need to work on me for a while... and, as impossible as it sounds, forgive him and move on
    JCHARGU3: ah.
    Rachael: have you been able to tell i was scared?
    JCHARGU3: yes
    JCHARGU3: our first date, a few times
    JCHARGU3: 2nd date, not so many times.
    JCHARGU3: this last time out, definately... especially when we were at channelside
    JCHARGU3: and yesterday, there was a small time that I caught it
    JCHARGU3: and by 2nd date i meant the mall.
    Rachael: oh, lol
    JCHARGU3: You know how I told you that this whole thing has been so easy yet so hard
    Rachael: i hadnt thought of that as a date...but i suppose so
    Rachael: yeah
    JCHARGU3: well, its easy when you are comfoirtable, I can feel your comfort... i can see your comfort

    But it's hard when your fear is there... I don't want to be like him, I know I'm better than that, so.. When you are afraid, get thrown off by iut some because most other times you seem pretty confident.
    JCHARGU3: it takes me a few to get everything sorted out and laid out so I can follow it and get you comfortable.
    JCHARGU3: like my small hesitation at channelside when you told me about him
    Rachael: i wouldnt have told you... but on the way into the movie... i was scared out of my mind
    Rachael: i never have panic attacks, but i did on the way in....
    JCHARGU3: I was raised on old style principals.. I protect what and whom I care for, and I will continue to do so.
    Rachael: i didnt want to tell you, but i knew i couldnt walk back through there
    Rachael: thats a good way to be raised i like it
    JCHARGU3: could have gone out the backway, I just realized it.
    JCHARGU3: I'm here for you and Adelyn... i'm pretty fond of both of you... if you couldn't tell lol
    Rachael: yay, :big grin:
    JCHARGU3: Everything happens for a reason.
    JCHARGU3: So on a religeous standpoint: Why did god bring us back into each others lives?
    Rachael: i know
    Rachael: theres no way to know what He has planned
    Rachael: all i know is that i'm uneasy about getting into a relationship
    JCHARGU3: I've been looking for something completely different...

    And from what you've told me and I had to peice together, you were kind of lonely at times, and you seem to want this, but on the same hand you are timid because you don't want this to happen all over again.
    JCHARGU3: I mean, you don't want the hurt to happen all over again.
    Rachael: i have been lonely... but i feel like i'm jumping into something i'm not ready for
    Rachael: ooooooooo...... i dont know.........
    Rachael: i need to go to bed... i'm sorry.... my stomach hurts
    JCHARGU3: ok.
    Rachael: i'm sorry.... i'll talk to you tomorrow
    JCHARGU3: Sleep well, and I hope your night goes better.
    JCHARGU3: ok.
    Rachael: you sleep well too!
    JCHARGU3: Thanks
    JCHARGU3: i'll try
    Rachael: night
    JCHARGU3: lol
    JCHARGU3: night
    Rachael: please dont stress.... i shouldnt have brought it up... its my issues
    Rachael: night




    Unfortunately you can't see all the AIM smileys she sent, lotsof smiles, a few sads, a couple kissy ones


    I asked a friend for some help, he's helped me in the past and htis was his response.

    THis si going to be confusing becuase that new AIM 6.0 POS made me edit a lot of shit out,and it has taken too much time so I'm just leaving it as is.



    487 "Projekt75 signed on at 11:32:14PM.
    /U/I
    507 "JCHARGU3(11:38:42PM) shes getting uneasy
    /U/I
    508 "Projekt 75(11:38:56PM)
    /U/I
    509 "Projekt 75(11:38:57PM) who?
    /U/I
    510 "JCHARGU3(11:38:55PM) Rachael
    /U/I
    512 "Projekt 75(11:39:14PM) things were great, but now she thinks they're moving too fast, doesn't she?
    /U/I
    522 "JCHARGU3(11:39:41PM) well.
    /U/I
    523 "JCHARGU3(11:39:41PM) no
    /U/I
    524 "JCHARGU3(11:39:43PM) ish
    /U/I
    525 "Projekt 75(11:39:54PM) then what?
    /U/I
    526 "Projekt 75(11:40:04PM) did you get her prego again? lol
    /U/I
    527 "JCHARGU3(11:39:59PM) i have been lonely... but i feel like i'm jumping into something i'm not ready for
    /U/I
    529 "JCHARGU3(11:40:01PM) her words
    /U/I
    531 "Projekt 75(11:40:18PM) women do that when they start to have feelings for you ... they back off because they're afraid
    /U/I
    534 "Projekt 75(11:40:37PM) don't back off ... but don't move forward, either
    /U/I
    535 "JCHARGU3(11:40:40PM) FONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: please dont stress.... i shouldnt have brought it up... its my issues
    /U/I
    536 "JCHARGU3(11:40:43PM) hewr words
    /U/I
    537 "Projekt 75(11:40:53PM) tell her you're not ready for anything yet, either
    /U/I
    538 "JCHARGU3(11:41:06PM) she signed off and went to bed, her stomach hurts, im thinking maybe its close to that time.. lol.
    /U/I
    539 "Projekt 75(11:41:21PM) but remind her that you're not her ex, or any other guy ... so she shouldn't project her negative emotions onto you
    /U/I
    540 "Projekt 75(11:41:27PM) yeah ... get her some Pamprin
    /U/I
    541 "Projekt 75(11:41:30PM) lol
    /U/I
    542 "JCHARGU3(11:41:29PM) lol
    /U/I
    543 "Projekt 75(11:44:45PM) you'll be fine
    /U/I
    544 "Projekt 75(11:44:48PM) just ignore her
    /U/I
    545 "Projekt 75(11:44:53PM) but proceed easily
    /U/I
    546 "Projekt 75(11:45:18PM) don't act too eager to see her or be with her ... but don't blow her off, either
    /U/I
    547 "Send Message Failed. Message is too long.
    /U/I
    548 "Projekt 75(11:45:44PM) this is the "thin ice" part of relationships .... where good relationships fail because someone gets scared and bails, or someone pushes too far too fast, or backs away too far too fast
    /U/I
    549 "JCHARGU3(11:45:45PM) BRBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2NotFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: remember how we promised we would tell the other if we started freaking out? BRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: YesBRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2notFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: i kinda am BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: oh.. why so? BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2NotFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: i dont know... i think i'm worried about addey, and scared of.... everything. after my little panic attack friday... it kinda brought it all back BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: ooo. BRBRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2AmNotAmNotFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: i dont know what to do BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2AmNotAmNotFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: what are you thinking? BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: what are you most afraid of dear? You getting attached to me and getting hurt, or her getting attached to me then something happening? BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: or both BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: or is it not even then? BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: that*
    /U/I
    550 "Projekt 75(11:46:50PM) what'd she say after that?
    /U/I
    551 "JCHARGU3(11:47:54PM) BBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2mNotFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: both, except not so much because of the male figure, b/c she has my dad... but i dont want her getting attached to someone that isnt going to stick around... and that may be unrealistic, b/c that will happen eventually anyway BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2JCHARGU3FONT face=Arial color=#4a9e00 size=2: what her getting attached or osmeone not sticking around? BRBRBBFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2mNotFONT face=Arial color=#0052a3 size=2: that kinda goes together... i dont mind her getting attached if they stick around
    /U/I
    552 "Projekt 75(11:49:05PM) "her" is her kid, right?
    /U/I
    553 "Projekt 75(11:49:20PM) yeah, she's freaking becaue the kid is starting to get attached ... kids attach faster than adults ....
    /U/I
    554 "JCHARGU3(11:49:16PM) yeah
    /U/I
    555 "JCHARGU3(11:49:31PM) im trying to get this new aim to safe the whole convo so you can read it lol, it's a POS
    /U/I
    556 "Projekt 75(11:49:55PM) then tell her you still want to hang with her ... but so she and the kid feels better, take that part a LOT slower, and you won't hang out with her and the kid AS MUCH ...
    /U/I
    557 "Projekt 75(11:50:11PM) oh, I just copy and paste when i want to save it .... that feature sucks
    /U/I
    558 "JCHARGU3(11:50:21PM) it doesn't work it...
    /U/I
    559 "JCHARGU3(11:50:30PM) copy and past for this aim jumbles it
    /U/I
    560 "JCHARGU3(11:50:33PM) using that new 6.0 crap
    /U/I
    561 "Projekt 75(11:50:49PM) oh
    /U/I
    562 "JCHARGU3(11:51:10PM) adds a lot of formatting
    /U/I
    563 "Projekt 75(11:51:26PM) ah
    /U/I
    564 "JCHARGU3(11:51:59PM) her brithday is wednesday, and her best friend ased me to get together with them tomorrow night around midnight
    /U/I
    565 "Projekt 75(11:52:38PM) she's also stressing about her birthday .. women do that
    /U/I
    566 "Projekt 75(11:52:52PM) every year older is horrible for them ... and it gets worse
    /U/I
    567 "JCHARGU3(11:53:20PM) so waht do you hink, do I still join them tomorrow night?
    /U/I
    568 "Projekt 75(11:53:32PM) sure
    /U/I
    569 "Projekt 75(11:53:35PM) don't bail on anything
    /U/I
    570 "Projekt 75(11:53:42PM) but when you're there ... back off from her a little
    /U/I
    571 "Projekt 75(11:53:58PM) I would avoid terms of endearment ... calling her dear and stuff ...
    /U/I
    572 "Projekt 75(11:54:13PM) one or two is okay ... but if you use it a lot, back that off
    /U/I
    573 "Projekt 75(11:54:16PM) if not, no worries
    /U/I
    574 "JCHARGU3(11:54:25PM) yeah, i figured that, all her girl friends will be there. lol
    /U/I
    575 "Projekt 75(11:54:46PM) are you the ONLY guy?
    /U/I
    576 "JCHARGU3(11:56:07PM) probably one or two others of her girlfriends boyfriends and maybe joe her 'brother"
    /U/I
    577 "Projekt 75(11:57:44PM) what's this "brother" bit?
    /U/I
    578 "Projekt 75(11:57:57PM) as long as other guys will be there ... it's cool
    /U/I
    579 "JCHARGU3(11:58:26PM) well you know, those off limits people...
    /U/I
    580 "Projekt 75(11:58:51PM) he's her "brother" ... watch closely his and her reactions when you put your arms around her and stuff in his presence .... that will tell you a lot about what kind of "brother " he is ...
    /U/I
    581 "JCHARGU3(11:58:55PM) He has a girlfriend with a child as well
    /U/I
    582 "JCHARGU3(11:59:13PM) and she's still married lol
    /U/I
    583 "Projekt 75(11:59:24PM) still ... I'd watch him ... make sure you befriend him, so he can't trash you behind your back
    /U/I
    584 "JCHARGU3(11:59:25PM) He is a friend of mine actually
    /U/I
    585 "Projekt 75(11:59:34PM) Rachael is still married?
    /U/I
    586 "JCHARGU3(11:59:32PM) No
    /U/I
    587 "Projekt 75(11:59:40PM) okay ... as long as you know the guy
    /U/I
    588 "JCHARGU3(11:59:35PM) the girl joe is dating
    /U/I
    589 "Projekt 75(11:59:48PM) Ah ... sorry, got confused
    /U/I
    590 "Projekt 75(12:01:35AM) okay ... so you know people that will be there ... by all means, go
    /U/I
    591 "Projekt 75(12:01:36AM) have fun
    /U/I
    592 "JCHARGU3(12:01:43AM) yeah
    /U/I
    593 "JCHARGU3(12:01:51AM) i think i got this figured out, had to install an "add on"
    /U/I
    594 "Projekt 75(12:02:21AM) and it's the holiday season ... so you can always just "get busy" and make her wait a few days to see you
    /U/I
    595 "Projekt 75(12:02:32AM) make sure you're not at her beck and call ... and you'll be fine
    /U/I
    596 "Projekt 75(12:02:38AM) it seems she likes you
    /U/I
    597 "Projekt 75(12:02:49AM) what's the source of the panic attacks, though?
    /U/I
    598 "Projekt 75(12:02:57AM) is it stress, or is it a deeper mental illness?
    /U/I
    599 "JCHARGU3(12:03:28AM) The last she heard about her baby's biological father he was working at bennegins in Channelside, and we went to channelside friday night.. I didn't know he had worked there
    /U/I
    600 "JCHARGU3(12:03:33AM) We're supposed to go out friday as well
    /U/I
    601 "JCHARGU3(12:03:39AM) this friday, for her birthday
    /U/I
    602 "Projekt 75(12:04:11AM) ah
    /U/I
    603 "Projekt 75(12:04:16AM) that'll cause a panic attack
    /U/I
    604 "Projekt 75(12:04:19AM) ok
    /U/I
    605 "Projekt 75(12:04:25AM) and that'll freak her out a little
    /U/I
    606 "Projekt 75(12:04:33AM) and do NOT miss her birthday
    /U/I
    607 "Projekt 75(12:04:46AM) tomorrow night, then friday ... that's good
    /U/I
    608 "Projekt 75(12:04:49AM) don't see her between then
    /U/I
    609 "JCHARGU3(12:05:11AM) she had mentioned me going ot lunch with ehr this week, that's out i gather
    /U/I
    610 "Projekt 75(12:05:25AM) yeah
    /U/I
    611 "Projekt 75(12:05:27AM) tell her yes
    /U/I
    612 "Projekt 75(12:05:40AM) then the morning of, call her and tell her you can't make it bec. you're SLAMMED at the shop
    /U/I
    613 "Projekt 75(12:05:56AM) and make sure you look busy ... she just might bring YOU lunch ...
    /U/I
    614 "JCHARGU3(12:06:48AM) she can;t shes the only person at her work this week
    /U/I
    615 "JCHARGU3(12:07:00AM) me bringing her food yes, her bringing me, impossible
    /U/I
    616 "JCHARGU3(12:09:35AM) maybe im sayiung stuff wrong
    /U/I
    617 "JCHARGU3(12:09:52AM) I just want to be me, so a lot of times i be me and think its not right... so i dunno
    /U/I
    618 "BFONT face=arial color=greenATTENTION(12:10:34AM)/AIM:timestamp:File Transfersession.
    /U/I
    619 "BFONT face=arial color=greenATTENTION(12:10:43AM)/AIM:timestamp:File Transfersessioninitiated.
    /U/I
    620 "BFONT face=arial color=greenATTENTION(12:10:44 AM)/AIM:timestamp:Transfer complete: A contentEditable=false href="file:///F:/MUSIC/Fall%20Out%20Boy%20-%20From%20Under%20The%20Cork%20Tree/From%20Under%20The%20Cork%20Tree/r.html" unselectable="on"r.html/A.
    /U/I
    621 "BFONT face=arial color=greenATTENTION(12:10:44AM)/AIM:timestamp:File Transfersessiondisconnected.
    /U/I
    622 "Projekt 75(12:11:18AM) that's a LONG ASS file
    /U/I
    623 "Projekt 75(12:11:28AM) that'll take a bit to read ... hang on
    /U/I
    624 "Projekt 75(12:11:34AM) that's GOOD she can't bring you food
    /U/I
    625 "Projekt 75(12:11:52AM) arange to meet her, then call and say you're swamped and have to cancel ... she'll MISS you that entire lunch
    /U/I
    626 "Projekt 75(12:12:13AM) it keeps her from having it with someone else, so you've made her lonely and wishing you were there
    /U/I
    627 "Projekt 75(12:12:16AM) it's perfect
    /U/I
    628 "Projekt 75(12:12:20AM) just don't do it a lot
    /U/I
    629 "JCHARGU3(12:12:50AM) whats perfet?
    /U/I
    630 "Projekt 75(12:17:00AM) scheduling lunch then canceling
    /U/I
    631 "Projekt 75(12:17:04AM) perfect
    /U/I
    632 "JCHARGU3(12:17:02AM) oh
    /U/I
    633 "Projekt 75(12:17:28AM) Rule #4598349857: NEVER admit you're bored. The successful man is ALWAYS doing something interesting, even if you have to make it up.
    /U/I
    634 "JCHARGU3(12:17:24AM) but on her birthday? thats the day i was planning to do it lol. so I could deliver a small flower thing or somthing but, nevermind that.
    /U/I
    635 "Projekt 75(12:17:37AM) nope
    /U/I
    636 "Projekt 75(12:17:50AM) cancel on her birthday ... that's awesome
    /U/I
    637 "JCHARGU3(12:17:49AM) she had hinted she was bored, so i said i was bored, we talked about hanging out, i took that out
    /U/I
    638 "Projekt 75(12:17:57AM) then make her think you didn't get her anything
    /U/I
    639 "Projekt 75(12:18:00AM) until the end of the night
    /U/I
    640 "JCHARGU3(12:18:10AM) she asked me not to get her anything because she'd be embarassed she didn't get me anything
    /U/I
    641 "Projekt 75(12:18:27AM) YOU aren't bored ... but you CAN put aside what you're doing for her ... she's THAT important to you
    /U/I
    642 "Projekt 75(12:18:35AM) you did get her something, right?
    /U/I
    643 "JCHARGU3(12:18:37AM) I am. yes.
    /U/I
    644 "Projekt 75(12:18:55AM) nice picture of her, btw ... and who's the manatee friend? mama ...
    /U/I
    645 "JCHARGU3(12:19:02AM) lol
    /U/I
    646 "JCHARGU3(12:20:31AM) i think i possibly lost internet connection.
    /U/I
    647 "JCHARGU3(12:21:06AM) still there?
    /U/I
    657 "Projekt 75(12:25:48AM) I'm here
    /U/I
    658 "JCHARGU3(12:25:52AM) oh thought i lost the intraweb
    /U/I
    660 "Projekt 75(12:26:13AM) no
    /U/I
    661 "Projekt 75(12:26:17AM) I was reading the book you sent me
    /U/I
    662 "JCHARGU3(12:26:15AM) lmfao
    /U/I
    663 "Projekt 75(12:26:36AM) that was a lot
    /U/I
    664 "Projekt 75(12:26:43AM) I see where you're trying to be there for her
    /U/I
    666 "Projekt 75(12:26:48AM) and you're trying to fight for her already
    /U/I
    668 "Projekt 75(12:26:57AM) but I think it went on a little long
    /U/I
    669 "Projekt 75(12:27:34AM) have you ever noticed that, when you talk about something, it's what you focus on?
    /U/I
    670 "Projekt 75(12:27:40AM) she went to bed thinking about this
    /U/I
    671 "Projekt 75(12:27:48AM) and to a certain extent, that's good
    /U/I
    672 "Projekt 75(12:27:57AM) IF you want a result right now
    /U/I
    673 "Projekt 75(12:28:10AM) but when she's unsure, a quick result = a negative result
    /U/I
    674 "Projekt 75(12:28:28AM) I would blow her off whenever this conversation pops up
    /U/I
    675 "JCHARGU3(12:29:11AM) ok
    /U/I
    677 "Projekt 75(12:29:33AM) "hey, I know you're not ready for anything deep ... and I'm not either ... oh, what's that? can you believe that SHIRT? Who would wear that?"
    /U/I
    678 "Projekt 75(12:29:37AM) and move on ...
    /U/I
    679 "Projekt 75(12:29:40AM) distract her
    /U/I
    680 "Projekt 75(12:29:48AM) make her thoughts around you light, shallow, and happy
    /U/I
    681 "Projekt 75(12:30:15AM) do NOT have any serious conversations with her (unless it's about some book or movie or something she's interested in)
    /U/I
    682 "Projekt 75(12:30:19AM) not for a while
    /U/I
    683 "Projekt 75(12:30:22AM) don't blow her off
    /U/I
    684 "Projekt 75(12:30:42AM) but basically say, "yeah, I know ... and I'm not going to let you dwell on it, so let's have some fun"
    /U/I
    685 "Projekt 75(12:30:46AM) and she'll get through it
    /U/I
    686 "Projekt 75(12:31:09AM) she's pretty ... and I think you guys'll look good togher (hint, hint ... where's my pic of the two of you together???)
    /U/I
    687 "JCHARGU3(12:31:10AM) none taken
    /U/I
    688 "Projekt 75(12:31:23AM) sing that .38 Special song to yourself
    /U/I
    689 "Projekt 75(12:31:24AM) lol
    /U/I
    690 "Projekt 75(12:31:31AM) and find something you don't like about her
    /U/I
    691 "Projekt 75(12:31:38AM) there's gotta be something ...
    /U/I
    692 "Projekt 75(12:31:40AM) focus on that
    /U/I
    693 "JCHARGU3(12:31:35AM) i don;t like her ex....
    /U/I
    694 "Projekt 75(12:31:49AM) no ... about HER
    /U/I
    695 "Projekt 75(12:31:51AM) flabby stomach
    /U/I
    696 "Projekt 75(12:31:57AM) stupid laugh
    /U/I
    697 "Projekt 75(12:31:59AM) something
    /U/I
    698 "JCHARGU3(12:31:54AM) thats what i'm focused on, because it's now causing thes problems
    /U/I
    699 "Projekt 75(12:32:02AM) focus on that
    /U/I
    700 "Projekt 75(12:32:11AM) her ex only causes problems if you talk about him
    /U/I
    701 "Projekt 75(12:32:25AM) "He's not here, so I'm unaffected by him ... now, how about that movie we just saw ..."
    /U/I
    702 "Projekt 75(12:32:29AM) get the idea?
    /U/I
    703 "Projekt 75(12:33:08AM) then, whenever you have those feelings ... "Man, I REALLY want this girl to stay with me" ... focus on what you don't like about her ... then you'll say "eh, I could find better if I wanted" and then you'll give her the responses she needs
    /U/I
    704 "Projekt 75(12:33:16AM) that's screwy, but does it make sense?
    /U/I
    705 "JCHARGU3(12:34:07AM) ish
    /U/I
    706 "JCHARGU3(12:34:29AM) I always have a temptation out there... just so you know...
    /U/I
    707 "JCHARGU3(12:34:38AM) so those thoughts are always there.
    /U/I
    708 "JCHARGU3(12:34:39AM) FONT size=+0IMG contentEditable=false alt=:) src="aolbart:/1024/id/2B0000025C/3A2D29" unselectable="on"
    /U/I
    709 "Projekt 75(12:34:48AM) good
    /U/I
    710 "JCHARGU3(12:35:46AM) so we normally write each other in the mornings, im guessi just.. don't
    /U/I
    711 "Projekt 75(12:36:37AM)
    /U/I
    712 "JCHARGU3(12:37:14AM) morning messages, on myspace, her and I usually have some good morning thing we discuss... or I respond to the message she leaves before bed.. I'm guessing i just leave it go.
    /U/I
    713 "Projekt 75(12:37:34AM) yeah
    /U/I
    714 "JCHARGU3(12:37:51AM) what if she takes it tha tI'm ignoring her completely, and that i dont want anything to do with ehr and i'm running away from her?
    /U/I
    715 "JCHARGU3(12:38:04AM) like if i ignore her the wholle day, unless she responds
    /U/I
    716 "JCHARGU3(12:38:07AM) first
    /U/I
    717 "Projekt 75(12:38:21AM) no, don't ignore HER
    /U/I
    718 "Projekt 75(12:38:25AM) ignore the SUBJECT
    /U/I
    719 "Projekt 75(12:38:38AM) don't talk about her ex, or her fears, or your fears
    /U/I
    720 "Projekt 75(12:38:44AM) all that crap is taboo
    /U/I
    721 "Projekt 75(12:38:50AM) it's just her bullshit
    /U/I
    722 "Projekt 75(12:39:10AM) so leave that in the toilet, and talk about other stuff
    /U/I
    723 "JCHARGU3(12:39:27AM) ok, because i was treying to get your dad a patient out of it too
    /U/I
    724 "JCHARGU3(12:39:32AM) her last myspae message
    /U/I
    725 "JCHARGU3(12:39:32AM) i do get paid for the extra time. i get paid by the hour, so i put myself down for 10 hours today. the phone is forwarded to me, so i start getting phone calls shortly after 7. BRi'll let ya know what is wrong with her and you can find out if there is any way to help. i am pretty sure its one of those things... maybe its to rotator cuff, or something like that. BRBRthat is sooo sad about that boy. i dont think i'd be ok after watching someone die. BRBRwell, i got about 10 min before Heros starts in 10 minutes.
    /U/I
    726 "JCHARGU3(12:41:08AM) prior to that she had mentioned about wanting to find a job at a daycare so her daughter would have cheaper fees, because her mom wont be able to watch her coming soon, because of arm surgery
    /U/I
    727 "JCHARGU3(12:41:15AM) thats when i started talking about good ole dr. dad
    /U/I
    728 "JCHARGU3(12:41:20AM) (stan)
    /U/I
    729 "Projekt 75(12:41:30AM) oh
    /U/I
    730 "Projekt 75(12:41:42AM) cool
    /U/I
    731 "Projekt 75(12:42:44AM) brb
    /U/I
    732 "JCHARGU3(12:42:51AM) ok
    /U/I
    733 "JCHARGU3(12:52:35AM) im going o bed, this has me all flusterd
    /U/I
    734 "JCHARGU3(12:53:02AM) in a few
    /U/I
    735 "Projekt 75(12:54:12AM) you're doing fine
    /U/I
    736 "Projekt 75(12:54:20AM) you havne't messed anything up
    /U/I
    737 "Projekt 75(12:54:29AM) just let it go for a little while ... she'll come around
    /U/I
    738 "Projekt 75(12:54:34AM) FONT size=+0IMG contentEditable=false alt=:cool: src="aolbart:/1024/id/0201E0731D/382D29" unselectable="on"
    /U/I
    739 "JCHARGU3(12:55:01AM) cool i hope o, this one i like more than any others... Shes different.. the baby helps
    /U/I
    740 "JCHARGU3(12:55:06AM) im dead tired and need lsepe.. later
    /U/I
    741 "JCHARGU3(12:55:09AM) sleep*






    Sorry about the last aim message... i know it's a trainwreck


    .. I was really hoping this would be a good relationship for me, I've been the type that sleeps around without a care of who I wake up to, then I calmed that all down and was looking for something stable, I'm 22 and want to get life started... People say 22 is too young, but I'm ready and determined....

    her daughter just makes it that much better, 18 month old, smiles, loves for me to play her little noise making games with her and peek a boo and stuff,

    What does the OT asylum think?

    should I be so down right now, or what can I do to help her etc etc


    BTW, her birthday is tomorrow... He rbest friend has a surprise party planned for her tonight, I was going to go but not so sure fi I should go now


    I have not written her this morning like we typically do, and she has not signed ont o aim or myspace to send me anything as well..

    We've been dating since the friday after thanksgiving :o


    Yes, I know, it's stilla young and immature relationship, I know that we've only been dating for almost 3 weeks now, but she's getting attached to me quickly from what she's said in person and I think thats what's scaring her the most.


    Insight?
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2006
  2. LiQuiD_FuSioN

    LiQuiD_FuSioN New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Messages:
    320
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think you're awesome for taking in the little girl. I guess you have to remember things are shakey, it looks like time may have to sort things out though. Let her do her thing, you know? But, I think it's cool to see a young guy like yourself know what he wants, the same can't be said for me and I'm 20!
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2004
    Messages:
    3,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eh?
    Talk with her in person about these issues. You're not getting her body language when she says these things over aim. When you talk with her in person you'll be able to get a sense of whether she's using these as an easy way out of the relationship...
     
  4. FindersKeepers

    FindersKeepers New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    8,974
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, Florida
    I wont be able to see her until either tonight or tomorrow, thats the problem

    Depending on how late dad and I are out christmas shopping, I may not be able to go to her birthday party tonight.

    She has no idea this party thing is going on.... and I was asked to be there by her friends.... so maybe it would be good that i showed up?
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, I just skimmed over the AIM convos (really really long), and if you're talking that much about relationship stuff over IM, then it's no wonder you're confused. It's just not a good idea to talk about that serious of a thing over a non-personal medium. So much is missed, so much can be misinterpreted.

    Talk about that stuff IN PERSON

    Also, if you're pushing for a serious relationship after only 3 weeks, yes, you may be pushing it too much. It's been 3 weeks...it's doubtful how well you guys actually know each other. You're still in the honeymoon phase...she's just getting to know you, and you're pushing for a relationship, which sounds needy.

    She has a daughter to take care of, so of course she's going to be cautious. What's your hurry?
     
  6. FindersKeepers

    FindersKeepers New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    8,974
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, Florida
    I'm a lot more at ease about it right now for some reason... So we'll see.
     
  7. Create

    Create :free at last:

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2006
    Messages:
    8,043
    Likes Received:
    2
    So, you get kinda close...

    I bet you asked to meet her child.

    Let's say you're around for a few weeks, or worse a few months, and then break up. What's her daughter going to say and think?

    "Not much considering her age." would be an initial response. Now, let's say this happens four, five, maybe ten times before the daughter reaches the age of thirteen.

    Now think about it - What's she tought her daughter about what to expect from men?

    So, you've got to understand:
    1. It's not about you.
    2. It's not about the potential girlfriend either.

    I diddn't read the AIM. I think these two goobers above are on to something when they say you shouldn't discuss anything more serious than the weather on IM.
     
  8. FindersKeepers

    FindersKeepers New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    8,974
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, Florida
    Anyone a good female translator??? LOL





    hey hun,
    i felt like i should reply with something, but to be honest, i read this right after to sent it... and i still dont know how to respond. i hate to ask... but i need a little time to think this over to respond properly... i need to do a lot of my thinking now. i'm sorry, i really didnt expect this issue to come up, i thought i had waited long enough. i guess i didnt because all i did was ignore the fact that i had been hurt and focused on Adelyn. i didnt want to do this to you or anyone.

    but i dont want this message to sound like i'm ending things.... i just need a day or two to figure this out.
    sorry... talk to you soon
     
  9. FindersKeepers

    FindersKeepers New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    8,974
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tampa, Florida
    I got a translation and since we previously had a date arranged for this friday evening I wrote back with this:


    "Hello. Hope you had fun tonight!

    I understand, and thats fine. I'll see you Friday evening, at 8.

    Happy Birthday!!!!!! "


    Her answer is as follows... Story of this: Her friend amy took her to Applebees for her 21st birthday party.

    " ok, i had fun. i am drunk, can barely push the keys. see you later =)
    "

    I'm not going to respond to anything... She sent that via myspace so she'll be able to see that I read it, and it may drive her nuts that I don't respond.

    Also she didn't say no to friday night... So apparently things are still on.


    Now I have this horrible, HORRIBLE waiting game to play for 3 days :(
     

Share This Page