SRS Not living where you should be?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RedDawg, Jul 6, 2007.

  1. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    Anyone else ever get the feeling like they're not living where they should be or where they really want to be? For me, i get that feeling sometimes when certain songs play on the radio or other random queues, but i don't know where it is that i'd rather be.
    I only moved to this area just under 2 yrs ago so its not that i'm bored with where i am, i actually really like the area. But i sometimes get a really strong feeling, almost overpowering, that there's somewhere else i'm supposed to be.
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Careful with that word should....it is all about expectations.

    For me it goes something like this: "If I was successful, then I SHOULD be doing X." OR "If I were a good person, I SHOULD do y." The important thing to realize is that running around trying to satisfy unreasonable expectations is a recipe for disaster and unhappiness.

    You are happy with where you are right now. Great. Don't change it. Ever hear the phrase, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Meditate on that! :)

    You also might find relief by repeating the phrase, "I will not should on you or myself today."
     
  3. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    nah, i'm not homesick. I do miss my friends and family but not enough to drive back for a visit just yet. I have to go back near the end of august for wedding stuff anyway.
     
  4. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    I'm not planning to move again, unless something good comes up. I guess its more a feeling of that there's so much more to this country and so many different areas that i just haven't seen or experienced and i want to do that before i'm forced to become "more responsible" (married/kids/home ownership, etc.) And its different to live somewhere than just going there for a vacation.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Well that's different than what you originally posted.

    Ok, so you want to see and experience different things in life. Great....go do it.

    What you were talking about in your first post is way different.
     
  6. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    yeah i guess its kind of hard to explain. I think i might just be getting nervous of settling down. I'm done with school, started my career, have a g/f i live with, so i can't just pick up and go like i have done a few times before.

    I almost typed "scared of settling down" but i'm not scared of it. I'm looking forward to the future with my g/f and establishing myself more in my career field.

    I've always been proud of the fact that twice in my life i've moved away to areas where i knew absolutely no-one, and i was able to establish myself, make friends, and make it my "home" rather quickly. Maybe i'm disappointed that i probably won't have the option do that again?
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Who says you won't have that option again?? Where is that written??

    Oh right...once we adults settle down, it's the law that we can't just up-and-move to wherever we want. :rolleyes: :)

    One thing I've learned from growing older is that life is about choices. When you make a choice you are, by default, saying NO to another choice. This really used to fuck me up till I realized that it's not a bad thing. Another thing I've learned, we simply can't do everything in life.....it's just not possible. So the key is to focus on things that are really important to me and make choice that are in line with those things.

    Does this mean that I'll never be able to focus on other things? NO! In fact, I've found that once I focus on certain things that are really important to me and engage fully in those things, then at a later date, I feel better about changing my focus.....because I've "scratched that itch".

    For instance, I used to dread buying a house because it didn't have a pool and I thought I would be bored without one. However, there's so much good that's come from owning this house, I'm thrilled I made the decision to buy it. Is it perfect? No but I made a choice and have loved the experience. Now, I can't wait to get back to work, save money and by another house or perhaps a condo this time. I dunno....we'll see when the time comes.

    Life is a journey not a destination. Enjoy the view. :)
     
  8. RedDawg

    RedDawg Well-Known Member

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    I think that's what i'm beginning to realize now.

    Good way of thinking about it, that makes a lot of sense, thanks!
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    This is why you'll find me so often saying to people that it's OK to pursue their dreams, even if the pursuit looks very messy (i.e. dropping out of college, leaving a high paying job, w/e). Life is short and when we can't do everything so it's important to focus on what's important to us.
    You're welcome....glad it helps. Good luck and God Bless.
     
  10. daaarn

    daaarn New Member

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    i originally left home for college but i eventually had to transfer back to the local university and that sucked for me b/c it felt like such a step down. what made it worse was all my friends/classmates were away at the big state u or the rich out-of-state private school while i ended up back as a townie. in the beginning, i just couldnt stop thinking how i should be somewhere else and just hated having to be back. eventually tho, i got over that disappointment and came out more grounded/appreciative because of it. now i'm taking a year off and looking forward to applying to grad school and if it so happens that i end up staying home again that's fine with me, but i really would like to experience something somewhere else for a change.
     
  11. My favorite quote related to this topic: My life I planned not to be on this corner, but I still wanna see California. I had over 8 chances in the past to go I didn't because of my ex, my mistake I know and now when I want to really go, I'm stuck here because of her aftermath bullshit. Here's to getting there sooner or later. I hope one day it happens.
     
  12. illmaceyougood

    illmaceyougood New Member

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    Angie Martinez - If I Could Go

    :cool:
     
  13. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I've felt lately that living with my fiance's parents for the time being is not where I'd like to be or should be. We're doing it in order to save $$ for a house down payment. I so badly would like to be in my own place, and recently I've thought of all the states and places we'll never live because we both enjoy Charleston. I've also been extremely homesick for New Jersey - we visited for a week after 3 years of me not living there. I'd give almost anything to go back there. Sometimes I do feel like I should be living somewhere else, but my fiance would be there as well.

    I just remind myself there's always travel in our lives and anything can happen. :shrug:
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yes. I'm supposed to live in California being awesome, but instead I'm living in the Chicago burbs being a chode.
     

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