not feeling "connected"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Nomad, Apr 15, 2010.

  1. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    so i've been broken up with the first chick i "loved" or whatever you want to call it for about a year (we dated a year and is my longest relationship to date). i dated another chick for around 2 months, and another after that for about 3-4 months.

    yet with both of those chicks i didnt feel overly connected, but i was feeling more connected with the last girl than the first.

    is that normal/abnormal? if so why?

    :dunno:

    to clarify; i'm asking is it normal to not feel connected with people even though you moved on from a relationship you invested a lot of yourself into after a year?
     
  2. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I would say it's not normal, no.

    Why don't/didn't you feel connected?
     
  3. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yeah, you can't have a connection with everyone. It's much easier to find a girl to get into bed then it is to find a girl you can connect with on any meaningful level.

    Just keep finding "applicants" and you'll find one that you connect with sooner or later.
     
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    idk, it just felt like they were another "hassle" in my life or that they just weren't all that important to me.

    with the last girl, the volleyball girl, it wasn't horrible we just broke up because she moved to another school across the country but i felt more connected with her than any other chick i've gone on dates with.
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Most likely reasons would be A- you weren't that into the chick(s) or B- you just aren't ready to date.
     
  6. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    i guess why i'm concerned/confused by this is because my friends always seem to "connect" with any girl :dunno:
     
  7. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    yeah but how can you determine if you're "ready to date"
     
  8. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Part of connecting is a willingness to connect on both people's part.
     
  9. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Look at yourself, figure out what it is you want, why you want it, and if you think there is anything that might keep you from getting it.
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Well in my personal experience, I connect with like 1% of the female population, and maybe 10% of girls I try to date.

    And everyone is different, just because you aren't connecting like your friends doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you (on that note, I'm not saying my perspective is right, but it's how it works for me :dunno:)
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    And just because a lot of your friends always seem to connect doesn't mean that's healthy. Far to many people seem to scared to be single and jump from relationship to relationship, so this would be perceived as connecting with everyone...

    But IMO a healthy person is completely fine NOT being in a relationship and being a little more picky about who they date then just the next person who came along.
     
  12. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  13. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    well with the girls i've gone home with/been with outside of the dating, i've felt some sort of connection, but nothing worth getting worked up about.

    like i'll be at the bar and flirt with a girl, then if we end up at her place, as soon as i finish i'm just like "well, time to bail" :dunno:

    i never used to be like this though, which is why its odd for me
     
  14. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    It's called growing up. You're in your young 20s right? That's when it happens generally.
     
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    oh ok, well that makes sense

    but even being single i feel like i'm sorta missing out on some fun stuff, i like having a chick to come home to/sleep with at night, but there's just no one worth my time i've noticed and it sorta feels like i'm just not gonna find a chick worthwhile :hsd:
     
  16. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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  17. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Welcome to life as a grown up, man. Fucking seriously.
     
  18. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Just always be on the lookout for one. The "grass is always greener" feeling won't go away, it's human nature. I'm always chasing girls and potentially a RS, but then I land one and after a short time think "WTF am I doing with this broad, I wish was single" then repeat the process again and again.
     
  19. Nomad

    Nomad Active Member

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    awww shiiiit :hs:
     
  20. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    its VERY normal.

    there is no way you are going to feel "connected" to a lot of people. thats part of dating. you keep at it until you find a girl you do connect with.

    the biggest thing you CANNOT do is get into the mindset of "maybe my ex WAS the one bc i connected with her".

    there is no "the one".
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    disagree and thats some depressing shit.
     
  22. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You disagree that it takes more time to find a woman worth dating as you get older and realize what isn't right for you?
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Totally normal.

    You meet a lot of people. You'll date some of them. You'll click with very few.
     

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