Months ago, I wrote this girl. I was (well, still am) seriously in love with her. She's a senior in high school, and I am, well, out. We're both 18. She works at the same place I do, but I rarely get to see her because a lot of times we have totally different shifts (her being in school only allows her to work at the most 5 hours any given weekday), and we work in different departments, so this means, we rarely get to talk, but when we do, it's so great. We're good friends at work, but we have never went out (meaning, to do anything) or even talked outside of work. That is the reason I wrote her. I felt it was the only way I could ever let her know how I felt about her. This girl is really something different, at least to me. She's so smart and intelligent, very Christian and has strong faith. Doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't even curse (Ok, this is very rare in my town). She's not at all shy, until it comes down to personal relationships, and then - she's all hidden. So, back to the letter. I really poured out, and expressed that I wanted to take her out some time, and if not out on a date (she has stated she doesn't want to, nor ever have dated anyone, and she wants to wait until College), then something casual, you know, to be more than just work-friends. My phone number was in the letter as well, hoping she'd call me and we could talk about it. Her response? Cute as always, but she never gave a direct answer ... she just said that she has a big heart for me now. I'm like .... "o.....k". I figured she'd call later on that day, or tell me more after work, but that was it. We did talk later, and she acted like I never gave her a letter. We talked for a good 20 minutes about Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice"... but nothing about the letter. Fast forward ... three months later ... March. I haven't talked to her in awhile. She never did call me, or respond to me. So, it was over before it began. I never got a "I don't feel that way about you", or any type of visible rejection .. it was all silent, and lead to many sleepless nights. I held out hope, maybe she'll call, maybe she'll say something. It never came. Well, we both had late shifts the other day, and the store we work in was rather dead, so we had lots of time to talk. Every time I hear her speak, I just fall in love all over again. She's so amazing. After work, I walked her out to her car, in the blizzard-ish snow, but no physical action took place... she said good night in a shyish-cute-ish kind of way (just pretend you understand, k?), and I stood there starring at her, covered in snow, and walked away whispering good night as well. That night, I was up til about 3 am writing again. You may be thinking I'm some kind of freak fantasying over a girl who has no real interest in me, but I couldn't help it .. I had to let her hear it again, but I focused more on just being friends, and no dating involved. We knew each other better, and maybe she would understand more. I really improvised on how I felt about her giving no response last time, and really asked her to call me. This letter was 4 pages long. When I gave it to her, she smiled and looked happy. So, I thought, or at least I wanted to believe, she would definitely call tonight (I asked her to call that night... which was last night). But, nothing. No email. No call. I felt like doing some awful things last night and this morning, but kept thinking, maybe she didn't want to call so late that she'd disturbed me, or wake me, because that's just the way she is. I know that's probably not it at all, but it's the only thing I am holding on to. She worked til 9:30 last night, and usually takes her 40 minutes to get home, AND she has school today, so ... maybe she wasn't up too it. Who knows. I may get a response today. We get our checks today, and she gets OUT of school around 3:10, and I go into work at 3:00. I hope I see her as she comes in to pick up her check. I don't care if I am on the clock or not, I will surely stop whatever I'm doing to talk to her and see her reaction from the letter. I'm not wealthy. I'm not great looking, and I've got alot of noticeable problems that I'd rather not get into here.. but to understand this situation fully, you would need to know. I know we're both young, but this is different than your typical highschoolish romance. She is not your typical highschooler. She is so amazing, sweet, and beautiful in ever aspect. She's like my dream girl. Many people I talk to her don't even rate her about a 7 in looks, but she's a 10 in my eyes. She doesn't fake anything. Hell, she doesn't even wear makeup. She's just really down to earth, and sometimes I think, why should I attempt to be with her knowing that she could get anything she wants, and I obviously cannot? I don't know. But I had to try. Why am I posting this here? No clue. I just wanted to get it out. I don't really have many friends who would understand. But I'm really depressed right now, although, I have potential to be really happy if I get to talk to her today, or if she calls later tonight (thing is, I work til 10). So, maybe I'll keep ya updated on the whole situation. Don't be harsh. I know I sound like a total loser, and I possibly could make it into a mental institution about now, but I simply don't care. I'm in love. Aww.