Non-sex related relationship advice needed

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 3l_Chupacabra, Jan 25, 2008.

  1. 3l_Chupacabra

    3l_Chupacabra New Member

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    Added the caveat just so people would know what's up.

    Never posted here before, but never been quite as confused, and could really use the advice if anyone has some. It may be a bit much to read, I'll post cliffs.

    So there's this girl I've known since high school, and I'm currently a senior in college, graduating end of this semester. We both had a thing for each other my freshman year of college and hooked up once after I broke up with my long time high school girlfriend who she was apparently always jealous of. I wasn't so sure about getting into a long distance relationship when I was just starting college, so I turned her down.

    She was apparently devastated, hated me for it, and literally didn't speak to me for a year. Now, I never really stopped caring about her, I just wasn't really ready for something, so I felt pretty bad. So a year after after that, we started hanging out in groups again, and eventually got to be good friends again like we were.

    Now, like two years after it all at the start of this year, we were talking a lot again just like we used to, which kept reminding me of why I liked her in the first place. I never really thought she'd give me a second chance, but over Christmas break we were watching this meteor shower (yeah we do weird stuff), and I dare you to try not making out with a girl you have a suppressed thing for when cuddling together on a blanket for warmth in the middle of a field. She tells me she's been waiting for that for a while.

    So, the rest of the break we're just hanging out a lot, I really didn't want to take it fast like last time because I felt like I screwed her over. She goes to school in a city near where I live, and I go to school like 3 hours away, and she starts class a week earlier. Spent a night at her place in the city too before going back to school. Things are cool with us, better than cool, though I still kind of assumed we were just friends because we never talked about more.

    I get back to school, and we're both busy with classes starting up and I work so we don't get to talk all that much. Then one day like a week after I'm back we're talking, and out of nowhere she's telling me she thinks we should go back to just being friends. I tell her I didn't realize we were more than friends, though I wasn't against it. She says that she really doesn't like the friends she has at school, and didn't want to risk losing me again because I flaked on her. I told her I wasn't going to do that to her again, and asked her if she really wanted to cut it out or just see where it goes.

    Now, she said she wanted to see where it goes, but I never expected something like this from her. She was crazy about me before, and even afterwards. Her friends were telling me how she would dote over stupid little messages I'd send her for like a year and a half now. I feel like talking to her now has just changed though, that it used to be someone who was always looking forward to talking to me too, but that she just wasn't anymore.

    Now I just don't know what I want to do with this. I feel like things aren't the same between us and like I don't really know how she feels even though we've talked about it. I don't want to give up on her, but I feel like I should just cut my losses and treat her as just a friend again. Really don't know what's going on at all.


    Cliffs: Girl I liked but turned down two years ago comes back, tries to turn me down preemptively, now I feel like things aren't the same after that and I don't know what I want to do about it.

    It should be added that we were both in relationships in that in-between time, two for me and one longer one for her where she found out the guy was cheating on her I believe. She's really not very trusting after me and him.

    If anyone has the time to read, or has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.
     
  2. 3l_Chupacabra

    3l_Chupacabra New Member

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    Haha, guess if it isn't sex problems it isn't interesting to the forum.

    Thanks anyways though.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    What do you want? Do you really want to date her? Or do you want to date the old her?
     
  4. 3l_Chupacabra

    3l_Chupacabra New Member

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    I want to date the new her, tbh
     
  5. fray

    fray New Member

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    If you are really into her, I think you should go for it (since she said she wants to see where it goes too), you just need to convince/show her that you care and that you aren't going to ditch her again. Once she trusts you enough to be okay feeling vulnerable around you again, I would bet things would go back to "normal".
     
  6. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    This forum doesn't go as fast as the main forum. Chill and wait for some responses.
     
  7. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    If you want to date the new her, then go for it.
    If it don't work out, then tough shit. It's life, you move on.
    It is up to you to show her that you do want to work things out with her and actually go somewhere with that relationship.
     
  8. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    ...this might sound crazy, but tell her how you feel. tell her everything you explained in this post, about how you weren't ready and how you've had feelings for her the entire time and have been unsure about things, my guess is that she feels the EXACT same way.
     

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