NO TEXTING OR INSTANT MESSAGING OF ANY KIND ALLOWED.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by antihero, Apr 14, 2009.

  1. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Please make a rational argument for this statement or STOP SAYING IT.

    Yes, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. There is a right way and a wrong way for almost everything.

    Texting is a useful tool in many different situations. It has many advantages to other forms of communication in some situations.

    1. brevity. texting is great because all the expectations around it are utilitarian. There are many times when you simply don't need to say more then one or two sentences, and a phone call really would be completely unwarranted by the situation.

    2. unobtrusive. It allows you to communicate in a way thats simply less intrusive. It offers a great middle ground for communicating things in a low key way. A phone call to say "I had a great time tonight" after a date would be clingy and weird. a text that says the same is a nice touch.

    3. you can text in places where a phone call isnt possible. All the girls i know LOVE when the guy they are interested in sends little text that show the person was thinking about them when they are away. could be something silly like "the guys at work also said I look like george clooney with my new haircut. guess you were right. lol" Yeah, its dumb, yes its goofy and pointless, and if a girl likes you and you are doing most other things right, she will light up when she gets it. It feels good to know the person you like is thinking of you. a phone call for something like that is a bit much.

    4. Its way cooler then voicemail. voicemail sucks.

    5. People of all ages use txt for all sorts of useful AND useless purposes. seriously, don't even try the "it's for kids" argument. its completely false and utterly retarded. I am not a child, and I text often. My mother has learned to text and it has done nothing but make us communicate more often which is good. my mother is clearly also not a child. "get milk" or "don't forget to pick the boy up from soccer" are two examples of excellent adult txts. professional marriage counselors advise adult long term couples to do "sweet little things" like send an unexpected "I love you text". Professional PUA say to use text. Many guys who get lots of tail use text. using this argument makes YOU look behind the times and out of touch.
     
  2. giz

    giz Active Member

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    I always text, and sometimes call too. I never understood why the vag hated on texting.
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    agreed. but calling too much could be a detriment. so could seeing each other face to face. Anything done "too much" is bad. thats why its called "too much." There are definitely people who don't know when too much is, but that doesn't mean the problem is with texting, its with the people who use it when its not appropriate or too often.
     
  4. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I have no probs with texting like you've got.

    I just get the shits with people who do all conversations over instant messages because it is something that can be so easily misinterpreted, is impersonal and just shows you are to scared to talk to them.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Text messaging owns.

    My gf and I txt like 99% of the time and talk like 1% of the time. We pretty much txt throughout the day, every day, when we're not together.
     
  6. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    I don't see the issue of texting in a relationship, but constant texting before a first date/just after never works imo
     
  7. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    "constantly" drinking water will kill you.

    texting the right amount, which is more then none, works great, imo.
     
  8. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    See, theres a difference.

    Texting, emailing, im'ing, all of that is all good after you're in a relationship. The reason being, its quick, easy, and instant.

    Now, where it becomes and issue is beginning of relationships/dating, when people take that to the extreme. The fact that you can text someone 10 times before they can/will reply, is a bit excessive. So what happens is people go over board w/ texting. Where as on the phone you can call, if they dont pick up, what ever, they dont pick up. With Texting, you're constantly texting. if they don't reply, then you send, 'WEll, I hope I didnt say something wrong', then after no reply again, 'I hope you're not mad at me'

    So on and so forth. Its not that its a bad thing, but its a very easy way to beat around an uncessary bush
     
  9. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :run: are you guys f'en kidding me? How often is taking anything to the extreme good when you just start dating?
     
  10. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    "Hey whatcha doing"

    ....5 mins no response

    "What you up to tonight?"

    ... 3 more mins

    "Soooo, did you hear about Melissa?! OMG!!!"

    ...2 mins later

    "Ummm, are you mad at me or something"

    ....1 min later

    "Sweetheart, I hope I didnt do something wrong :(, I guess i'll leave you alone"

    Next day, after the moron still doesnt get the hint

    "Ummmmmmmmmm, so I guess you're still mad at me, what did I do???"
     
  11. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    are you trying to miss the point? yes, you would have to be an idiot to send that many pathetic texts. If you are that pathetic, you probably come off as pathetic on the phone and face to face just as much.

    texting is good. being a pathetic idiot is bad.
     
  12. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    i have never had any problems with texting :dunno:

    last chick was obsessed with me, and i dont think i ever talked to her on the phone even once the 8 months i knew her :mamoru:
     
  13. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Well thats the issue. With most people who do 'text' they dont know when enough is enough.

    How many threads have you read on the VAG board of people saying, 'Well, I've texted her 3 times since thursday and still no response"

    Thats what I was getting at. If you re read my post, I said texting is fine. Shit, I send/recieve about 700 texts a DAY on my phone
     
  14. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    oh fuck that

    i have a texting rule, i will text them once, if they dont respond, i wont text them again, and i will ignore their next text because they ignored mine.

    once they send another text, i will reply.

    it has worked flawlessly, and i do it to my friends too, pissed off one chick i knew because she needed some info about a class i had with her the next day, she came to class not prepared :mamoru:
     
  15. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    i text pretty much all day at work. couldnt be on my cell phone all day talking...


    well... i shouldnt really be texting either but my boss is cool :p
     
  16. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    wtf is going on in here?
     
  17. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    that'd be amazing :o

    i only know one buddy of mine who likes talking on the phone. i hate when girls call me "just to talk".. drive over and chat with me in person, I hate being tied down on a phone :hs:

    i like texting when i'm in class, or doing homework, or etc. when I'm busy
     
  18. bluefox1081

    bluefox1081 New Member

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    Texting is annoying for the most part. And no, it's not because of being behind the times...I used to text a lot more when I was younger. But if someone wants to send a "heads up" text or something that can be summarized in one sentence, that doesn't require a reply, then I'm fine with that. If someone wants to have a conversation with me, just call me. It's so damn annoying to keep hearing my phone make a noise, then read (or try to read whatever abbreviated words) the message, then take the time to hit numbers multiple times to make a reply, and then repeat over the course of 15 minutes...when the same conversation could be done with in the span of a 2 minute phone call.

    Texting also requires more attention. I can easily strap my earpiece on and have a conversation while driving, or doing other things, but texting can prove to be dangerous while doing something that requires your attention. It's already too dangerous to drive while talking on the phone...texting makes it increasingly more dangerous.

    And if I'm doing something with a friend, and they constantly keep looking to their phone sending replies, all while doing an activity or holding a conversation with me, I would feel a lot less insulted if they just said "excuse me, I need to take this call" and had the conversation instead of repeatedly attending to the annoying sounds constantly spewing from their phone every 30 seconds. It's rude and annoying to keep ignoring someone every minute or two so you can keep reviewing and replying messages.
     
  19. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    It really depends on the occasion, but generally calling is much better than texting, as texting implies laziness and a lack of will to actually pickup, and use your vocal chords.
     
  20. MarshyTheKid

    MarshyTheKid New Member

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    With this current girl, we've been texting since before we first hung out at all. Its helped. We got to know a lot about each other before we hung out.
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    The quality of the arguments against texting is really starting to be pretty damning in and of itself.
     
  22. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    thread title looks like something i posted here

    there are always exceptions to everything

    you can break all the rules as long as you don't communicate desperation and neediness
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    i will say that nearly every account in the main i see of a guy who just met a girl and they are texting ends with fail

    ymmv
     
  24. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Thank you for re-iterating guys dont know when to stop.
     
  25. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    nearly every account of someone from the main forums interacting with a female ends with fail.

    So if we want to change the boilerplate advice to "don't text excessively. Do not carry on long conversations over text. Don't talk about "your feelings" over text. Do not continue to text if you are not getting a reply. Do not send a text asking if someone is mad at you if they do not reply immeadiately"

    that would be completely fine with me.
     

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