No motivation to give to anyone that needs it...I'm a horrible person

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Dont Go Away, Feb 2, 2005.

  1. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    My boyfriend is depressed and suicidal. (I know, just like so many others) I think he may be bi-polar as well. Over the summer he had a great job and then was even going to school to become a chemical engineer...it became too much for him to handle so he came back home. Since he's been home, he won't do anything with his life...he tells me that I talk down to him and treat him like garbage. All I want to do is help. I love him SO much and he just can't see that. He also says that all I want is immediate changes and that I can't the little things changing. We both know that he needs help, but he also needs the motivation to seek that help. I don't have any in me left to give (I'm still in high school and taking college class just to graduate). He always tells me that he doesn't want to add any stress to my life, but continues, day after day to do so. He also recently told me that for the first time, I made him want to kill himself. I know I complain a lot and am not always the happiest/best person to be around, but I want to get something out of life. I told him last night to call me when he wants to help himself and actually do something about it, not just talk about it. He agreed.

    This morning, he sent me the following messages:

    I know you are at school but ive been up all night thinking. And i have come to the conclusion that i will not accept us being on a "break". So with that i need to say a few things. First being that since 2 am i have taken 12 asprin, you are thinking now that i broke my promise. However i think that since you are on a break we are no longer together i dont need to keep it. Secondly since you are on a break I can not handle it, so I have decided that by 8:53am tomorrow if you do not call you officialy left me. That is exactly 24 hours from when i finished that sentence. Lastly i am calling to get help today and i will not be calling you, since you are on a break. I guess this all comes down to one thing, the ultimatum. That being if you want to be with me and stop all this fighting once and for all. This also means you would have to stop degrading me to the point you make me feel worthless because i can not please you and bitching at me because i can not control what mood i am in. I came up with this laying in bed, so call me if you love me and dont call me again if you dont its that simple. This is on you now and only you can continue us or end us if you want.With this relationship I have not only put in hours and days of trying to talk out our problems, but i also have put in thousands of dollars for both of our enjoyment. That is all i can say. Good Bye, I love you and I know you will make the best decision for yourself.
     
  2. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    i dont really get it... you broke up with him? and now he wants to know if youre serious or otherwise he... is gonna kill himself?!?!?!

    from what he says... hes kinda blaming you for his problems and somehow you seem to be a reason for his problems too... *scratches head*. im slightly confused...
     
  3. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    I'm confused as well...

    And I didn't really break up with him, I just though it might be a good idea to take a break for a while...don't talk to each other, see if he really wants to be with me...if he does, he will want to get help.
     
  4. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

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    so... what is the problem?

    you dunno what to do... you are afraid he'll kill himself... you dont love him anymore... ummm...

    you guys seriously need to talk!
     
  5. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    I do love him...and yes, I am afraid of that. I just want to help him and don't know how to anymore...I've exhausted all of my options.
     
  6. Fearan

    Fearan Guest

    The general opinion on this board, which I share, about people like this is that if they do not want to help themselves, your helping them will do nothing. That's the simple truth, you cannot sway them from their own self-imposed misery. You sound like a great girlfriend, but don't waste your best years with someone who doesn't enjoy life. You may regret it.
     
  7. Lyzardegod

    Lyzardegod Guest

    :werd:

    I've had the very same thing happen. Person leaves you an e-mail or a note that they threaten to kill themselves and 'you this' and 'you that' and 'I took pills' or "I drank this" ot that.

    This guy is one of those people that are eternal victims and everything that is happening to them is 'not their fault' and they can't help but be a certain way blah blah blah. Believe me, they love themselves more than anything or anyone else[and the whole suicidal act is to make you feel guilty/responsible] and are just using your concern as a point of control to try and squish out your own ambitions because you 'make' them look bad--even though they are really making themselves look bad.

    You sound like a strong woman with goals and expectations. Curb him and let him whine to someone else that won't make him lift a finger and cater to his every need--like his mom.
     
  8. Dont Go Away

    Dont Go Away New Member

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    I just talked to him and he has a counseling appointment on Thursday.

    I still don't forgove him though...he doesn't feel bad for taking the aspiring and doesn't think that was a lie...wtf
     
  9. low20

    low20 Member

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    i totally agree...suicide is something to take seriously, but its not fair for him to make u feel like its your fault...of course if he did something, you would feel that way, hence hes really giving you no choice but to call him, even tho he will most likley not do anything...i would call him, and end it and get on with your life..from what u said, u seem more mature than him tho younger...good luck
     
  10. Send him a razorblade and a bottle of Johnson&Johnson no more tears shampoo.

    what a loser.
     

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