No more FWB ...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Oct 18, 2005.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :hs:

    I have pulled the plug on hooking up with this girl I broke up with a year ago. I think it is only hurting her and making it harder for her to move on. I'm hoping this will not actually affect our friendship.

    edit: *update* in my later post.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2005
  2. MrEous

    MrEous OT Supporter

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    So she has a bit more attachment than you do?...or she is starting to get more attached?

    Most likely she's going to hold a grudge about shutting her down, IMO.
     
  3. XGaSpAcHo

    XGaSpAcHo New Member

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    she probably won't be too happy and might even be pretty hurt
     
  4. XGaSpAcHo

    XGaSpAcHo New Member

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    i sorta tried doing the fwb thing with a chick recently. she ended up falling in love with this guy she knew and i ended up getting attached at hurt as a result. oh well i guess i've learned my lesson.
     
  5. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    fwb ftl, i prefer sex in relationships because i get too attached too.
     
  6. XGaSpAcHo

    XGaSpAcHo New Member

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    :hug: my brother from another mother
     
  7. kuno

    kuno .... OT Supporter

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    fwb sounds good on paper.. but it practice it rarely works.. kinda like government lol
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    give it some time. youll be friends after she finds a new guy to date/fuck.
     
  9. XGaSpAcHo

    XGaSpAcHo New Member

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    :werd: as soon as you start to develop feelings for the other person you're screwed
     
  10. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    exactly
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    UPDATE:
    She knows I'm attracted to her, so it's not a blow to her ego. I explained that hooking up like we had been doing was bad for her. Obviously she denied this but I didn't budge. While we were talking, sometimes she would get somewhat intense, and I would simply say, "See? Why is it a big deal? Should it be a big deal if it's just hooking up?"

    So we are cool now.

    Hopefully we can still flirt harmlessly, as that was a fun dynamic in our friendship; many guys and girls who are not really into each other will do this just for entertainment. Other than that we are still friends.
     
  12. jakeguard

    jakeguard Guest

    fwb situations are hard. I've heard so many horror stories. I've had two. The first one worked out perfectly. We were both physically attracted to one another but didn't want a relationship so we could just have sex all the time. Eventually her parents found out (this was back in HS) and so that died.

    Second one lasted all of one week before I realized that I was really attracted to this girl. We had been friends for two years before anything happened. I ended up telling her and she was attracted to me too so we ended up having a great relationship
     
  13. krondo

    krondo New Member

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    flirting is the best thing since snack packs.
     
  14. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    update -

    I say this cautiously, as I feel I will get some rather negative responses. Like I said before, I didn't want to call it quits when it came to flirting. Well ... eventually she managed to seduce me into hooking up with her again. I guess part of the problem was that it didn't really make sense to stop, since 99% of the time she is completely unemotional about the whole thing.
     
  15. SeaMack99

    SeaMack99 OT Supporter

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    It might be time to start getting exclusive. I think she wants a relationship. But IMO there aint nothing wrong with what your doing. If you can keep it up I say go for it.
     
  16. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    If she wanted to, she would tell me. Seeing as we have often discussed the matter. We both are seeking other people to get with - in my case, people to hook up with or date; in her case, people to date.
     
  17. SeaMack99

    SeaMack99 OT Supporter

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    I think she is in denial, unless you are?
     
  18. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    She is? This is why I stopped hooking up. I just hope she isn't. You know? B/c I like having the company and the easy sex.

    Since we broke up, she has gone out on a date with 1 guy and had 2-3 real crushes. Before we got together, she had done nothing in her entire life of any sort that had to do with sexuality. (Except that she could dance). So her lack of having done anything with new people is easily attributable to her usual reasons for not getting with guys.

    I on the other hand, while not doing anything grand, have gone on dates with 4 people, hooked up with ~8 (meaning anything but sex itself), and had intercourse with a 9th.
     
  19. SeaMack99

    SeaMack99 OT Supporter

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    Yeah she wants a relationship. Unless you want to be a BOYFRIEND you better cut bait and run.
     
  20. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    If its not affecting you I don't see your problem? It's her choice to keep continuing or not so imo have fun while you still can.
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    First I think this:
    And then I think this:
    And then I think, basically if I were a little less selfish, I would cut bait, but since I'm selfish, I will assume that she's on the level when she acts unemotional about the whole thing.
     
  22. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    It isn't being selfish as long as you have told her what you are thinking. If she knows this is just FWB then there is nothing selfish about you contiuing with it.

    It would only be selfish if you are misleading her imo. It's not like she can make you be her BF, so have fun :)
     

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