SRS no matter what I do, my dad is always disappointed.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Digitalism, Nov 10, 2009.

  1. Digitalism

    Digitalism Guest

    it all started when my mom died in 2005. he's been downhill since, battling depression, health, everything. he doesnt know how to cope with anything anymore.

    I recently got laid off and had to move back in with him. I've been looking for a job like crazy, craigslist, pretty much anywhere I go I ask if they are hiring. I havent been able to find work in 7 months.

    My dad is so disappointed in me, and acts as if getting laid off was my fault. I registered for school, but could not find the money to start. We cant even talk anymore, he's always pissed off at me.

    I was so excited about starting school, but that didnt work out.

    He says shit like "When I was your age, I was married and worked 4 jobs". I try to explain to him that getting married at age 20 and working 4 jobs is not normal in these days. He doesnt get it, times are different, times are tough.

    I try SO hard to make him happy. he's lonely and depressed. I ask him how his day was, try to cheer him up, he's always got this numb look on his face. I havent seen him smile in years. if I try to start a conversation with him he asks "why the fuck arent you out working or in school" even though I've told him a hundred times im looking for work, and that I have to wait until I find the money to go to school. every day its the same thing.


    He asks me the same shit every day

    "Did you find a job yet? Why not? Did you get your school stuff figured out? Why not"?

    every day I answer the same, but he continues to ask.


    I feel terrible. This year has been fucking awful. My sister died, my grandmother (his mom)died, I got laid off, had to move in with dad. I have no one to talk to. I lost all my friend when I had to move back home. I'm in a shithole right now.
     
  2. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    Eh maybe his only way of dealing with the death in the family. Keep his mind busy and thinks you should be doing the same.
     
  3. Japan Four

    Japan Four Guest

    dont let him get to you, be your own man.
     
  4. Saluki

    Saluki New Member

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    Damn that's sucks and that's a very tough year!

    Sounds like he's trying to cope with all of this but he's keeping it bottled up and taking it out on you.

    Have you tried seeing if he wants to get out of the house and do something with you? Do something he would have done before all of this started. I know its not going to be like hitting a reset button and going back to the way things are because when things like that happen they never really can be back to normal but try to show him its ok to have fun again and WITH someone since you said you feel that he's lonely.

    If he always cuts you off when you bring up the subject; right a letter to him and leave it somewhere that he will see it when you're not home. For whatever reason people like to read things the whole way through (probably curiosity). The letter thing worked well with my dad when he was always shutting me down when I was trying to get treated for ADD, he thought/thinks that it's all in my head and that I can control it if I want...not the case. So when I put it down in a letter and left on the counter 1 night for him to see in the morning he read it and sent me an email from work apologizing for not giving me a chance to explain.

    Sorry for rambling there and good luck with things!
     
  5. CodeX

    CodeX Guest

    I'd be disappointed in you too, living at home at your age without a job... you don't look for a job you go out and fucking get one, clean the grease traps at mcdonalds for minimum wage while you look for something better.
     
  6. JudyVu

    JudyVu New Member

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    Sad situation. I'm sorry you're in it. I'm presently taking care of my 61 y/o brother who has a degree in computer programing, but cannot function in any longer in the real world. Best of luck to you.
     
  7. JudyVu

    JudyVu New Member

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    Pretty sorry response. There have been times I've looked for a job and not been able to find one.
     
  8. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    That's a really good idea if he won't sit down with you and have a real chat about this.
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The best thing to do is put your mind on zero and work hard to improve things, because sometimes there are times in life were talking is useless, and only taking action is usefull. Don't listen to your dads bullshit anymore, you see an expensive life lesson is that its ok to help other people but not at the cost of your own self destruction. Its better not to talk to him anymore because it comes at the cost of getting down yourself. The only way out of here is fighting yourself out of it.

    My advice is to move out, because staying with a depressed person will only drag you down the black hole. My advice would be to goto New York, or another nearby large city that will increase your possibilities of finding a job. Put on your shoes and get away from there.
     
  10. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Sounds like you need to move out.
     

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