No idea how to do this

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by matth109, May 22, 2008.

  1. matth109

    matth109 New Member

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    There is this girl i just kinda met. Ive seen her around before, but never talked.

    Well, a week ago she was at my sister's soccer game(travel team), and in a group of friends we talked and became "friends" i guess. At least she knows me now.

    Now, last night, there was another game and she came over and talked to me and my friend for a couple of minutes, casually flirted (i tried a lil, im just getting back in the game), then she walked away. Then while leaving, she eye-balled me, said bye and smiled and left (i hope she was smiling at me:x:)

    Pretty much, i hardly know her, but i am very attracted to her. Like, not a knockout blonde bombshell, but there is just something about her that i find beautiful.

    So, how do i talk to her without being creepy and stalkerish? I know this seems high schoolish, but i am just getting over a SO and have no idea where to start
     
  2. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    most importantly, don't seem desperate. you're just getting over your ex, so you may subconsciously be giving off that vibe that you need approval or affirmation from another girl. this is a huge turnoff to most girls. just be nonchalant, keep flirting, and make her want you.

    others will give more specific advice.
     
  3. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    accept that she is interested in you and that its your job as the man to get her number and plan the dates etc.

    you should be confident because she non-verbally telegraphed her interest in you.

    on the other hand, you don't yet have enough information about this girl to determine if she is right for you or not. you have no way of knowing if something could emerge in the future. the only way to gain this info is by providing her the opportunity to spend more time with you (by requesting her phone number and inviting her on a pre-planned date).

    don't put pressure on yourself to impress or "win" a girl you don't even know yet

    if it doesn't work out, no big deal. you can't lose what you never had to start with
     
  4. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    :werd:
    I love how Yail thinks!
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well the good news is she gave you an IOI (OMG, I'm using PUA terms! :noes:), which was the eye contact and smile. She most likely thinks you are cute which is a good start. Even better is the fact that you can be sure she'll be at another one of those games. If she seeks you out first than play it cool. Don't stress out too much about what to say because the fact that she is the one coming over is pretty big, you don't have to work too hard. If you notice her somewhere close by try and get her eye contact and smile or wave. If she doesn't come over then you go over. Her giving you eye contact and maybe a smile and wave back is a sign that she would be fine with you coming over.

    Chat casually. I hardly think being at a soccer game for your sister is the kind of atmosphere in which to try running hardcore game. Ask about her; what she does, where she goes to school, studies, etc. When you feel the conversation is slowing down or even if you just have to go ask her for her number so you can get out of there.
     
  6. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    next time you see her, flirt with her again, ask for her number. then call her and ask her on a date.

    you have seen her a couple times at games already, so its not being creepy to approach her there at all. and when you do get her number, dont call repeatedly. call her to ask her out and set plans for when you are going out. then actually take her out. you should be able to tell from her actions (and her acceptance of the date) if she is insterested in you or not
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Next time you see her at a game, or she approaches you at a game, tell/ask her to come sit with you.

    Chat with her throughout. Before you leave, ask her out for coffee or some other date. Ask for her number so you let her know what the plan is once you check your schedule.

    It's not that hard.
     
  8. matth109

    matth109 New Member

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    thank you guys so much for the advice, its really helpful.

    i guess im just worried about how to get the ball rolling, like meeting her without being a stalker and such. that coupled with the fact its been awhile since ive had to ask for a phone number/date from a girl, im very rusty.

    if i knew her a little bit better, i would probably have a little more confidence
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Keep this in mind: Get to know her better on a date.

    If you take too long to ask for her number or ask her out, then you'll miss the boat of her interest.
     
  10. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    and by date IWYWB doesn't mean like dinner and a movie (and if she is, well, then she shouldn't!)

    I think most guys and gals would agree that a really good "first date" is simply just running around town doing random things.

    These preliminary 'meetings' of sorts are not really to find out how much you can impress the person, but more of 'is this something worth pursuing'... Can i spend a couple hours with this person and feel natural?

    I've NEVER been a fan of going for coffee or dinner. It puts too much attention and pressure on the conversation. And while having a good convo is honestly not very difficult, it's pretty artificially created.

    I like to share some experience before putting myself in a situation that is SIMPLY and ONLY conversation.

    Just think of something you have to do that day and invite her to go with you. A recent first date of mine was searching for this movie that nobody has.

    Another one was picking out a paint color for my room (that I ended up finding out I could not paint).

    Shit, I have to go get new lighting for our living room so maybe if I meet someone in the next couple days that will be another first date.

    The idea I'm trying to drill here is to invite her to spend a normal day with you, instead of creating an 'out of the ordinary' experience. That's why study partners, people at work, etc. date.

    It's just like something they spend some time doing together that is ordinary, but they realize that other than being attracted to the person they can DEAL with them for a bit.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Definitely. Light fun dates are the best for getting to know someone casually while still having the awesome sexual tension and flirting.
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    To echo what Blackice covered above:

    "Conversation" dates (dinner, coffee, drink) are challenging because you could easily end up being interviewed by her.

    It is preferable to leave some mystery for the future. Why tell her your life story right away?

    I overhear people on conversation dates frequently and generally if the man is doing much of the talking, he's giving his life story.

    If you want to play the "gameshow host" role that is fine, you always steer the conversation back to her and listen and maybe slip in some humor here and there. And that's exactly what I do once the relationship progresses to the level of conversation dates, which isn't going to happen until after we've had sex in most cases (for me).

    In my experience, action dates are preferable to conversation dates, especially early on.

    You learn much more by observing her actions than you do from listening to what she says.
     

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