No erection from making out

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by busydoingnothing, Mar 3, 2007.

  1. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    I've been seeing this girl for about two weeks now. She's in my Creative Writing class and we gots to talking and she is friggin amazing. We have everything in common, she's beautiful, and she digs me (great combination). Things with her are really different, because normally I am extremely shy, insecure, low self-image...but with her, pretty much the entire time I've been confident, talkative, outgoing, and I actually picked up on the fact that she likes me (which I am normally pretty oblivious to).

    Anyhow, I drove her home the other night after we went to the bar with her friends. Before she got out of the car, we hugged, and I just moved in for the kiss (which was completely spontaneous, another rarity), and so we made out. The thing that bothered me is the fact that I didn't get an erection. I enjoyed making out, but it's like, I really didn't *feel* a lot. This worries me. I don't know what it is. I have been pretty down lately (despite seeing this girl), I really haven't been masturbating much at all, and it just seems like I've had a lower sex drive than normal (which also worries me, especially seeing this girl).

    Another thing is, I don't think about sex with her a lot, because it's like...I don't want to defile her in my mind, if that makes any sense. I respect her a lot and I really want to this to go right without just focusing on sex. But at the same time, I'm worried that I'm not fantasizing about her.

    To put things into perspective, I'm 24, she's 22.

    I don't know what's going on or what's wrong. Agh. Any advice would be appreciated. :hsd:
     
  2. strik9

    strik9 Verbing weirds language.

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    i never fantasized about a girl i was with or really about any girl i know other than the porn stars that are on the porn im whacking to
     
  3. drinkdran0

    drinkdran0 New Member

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    your worries are kind of sweet. however, i always think its nice to want the person you're seeing sexually since without sex in a relationship, it won't work. of course it might just be something that comes with time. i'm sure as you guys get heavier you'll get an erection for sure. if not... then start worrying
     
  4. stormywaters

    stormywaters Tornadoes are just wind...

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    You might just be too stressed over what you think of her. Relax and take it slow.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You are just stressing yourself out hun, that's all. I know what you are thinking though because there have been guys I've dated that when I first kissed them I didn't feel butterflies/sparks/blah blah blah, and I started to worry like "maybe we're not really good together!" And obviously I don't have a penis, so I can't vouch for your worry of not getting an erection from making out with her....but I have known many guys who said they didn't even get a hard on from kissing; that there had to be some other actions involved to get that kind of response.

    It just seems like you really like her and are just hoping so much for everything to go well that you are over analyzing things for nothing. I'm sure you were nervous as hell which never helps. So just take it slow and breathe, I'm sure you guys will be fine :)
     
  6. iqarus

    iqarus New Member

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    i didnt get an erection after making out, fingering or oral on the cutest girl iv been with. but others i did before we even got to the making out stage.

    it has alot to do with your diet and hormones.
     
  7. g230sport

    g230sport New Member

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    i get boners from kissing and making out with my gf :dunno:
     
  8. Xtreme2k2

    Xtreme2k2 GTI Crew ಠ_ಠ OT Supporter

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    great contribution to the discussion :ugh:
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    That right there is the key. Being depressed will cause you to not have as much interest in things you would normally love. Have you been doing anything to try to improve whatever it is that has gotten you down?
     
  10. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    Thanks for all the advice guys. I do just worry too much. With my OCD, I worry that if I don't get an erection from making out, I must not like it, therefore I must not be interested in her, and therefore, since she is perfect to me and I'm not interested, I must be gay. Pretty fucked up line of thinking. We made out last night and I was getting more of a reaction, so that's good. I just need to calm down, stop worrying, and let life flow. Easier said than done, since I'm constantly overanalyzing.

    Midgetized, I've been in therapy for a while. I do my best to bring myself out of my obsessing and analyzing and focus on the present moment. It's just really hard when I *feel* down to get out of that slump.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You mean anxiety, right? Because that's not what OCD is.

    Either way, glad you saw her again and things went better. Just don't stress yourself out.
     
  12. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    You don't have OCD, you're just neurotic. and probably gay....


    :rofl:

    relax dude. it's normal.
     
  13. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    Seems like most guys don't get an erection from just making out...some do. The guy I'm dating now does a lot of the time we're making out...it's sorta hot.
     
  14. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I still do, depending on who it is. I used to get erections all the time with my ex, then it slowed down a bit and I stopped getting them from just kissing and making out with her. However, the girl that I slept with recently can turn me on just by being in extremely close proximity to me. It helps that the sex was great and she is a foxy minx and just oozes sexuality.
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Sometimes, it's a little embarrassing...I get wood from kissing all the time and I'm about to hit 40. If I'm with my SO...no biggie but I don't have a SO right now and when it happens on those first dates I just kinda shrug and laugh about it. What can I say....I'm a horndog.

    I will say tho...I'm thankful that all this talk about older men not being able to get it up just doesn't apply to me. WOOT!

    EDIT: Opps this thread is about NOT getting wood. uh...well...sux2bu. :)
     
  16. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    It's OCD. I've been in therapy for it for a year and a half, and my therapist says I am definitely obsessive-compulsive. I've posted a few articles about the particular OCD which I'm dealing with. If you have a lot of time to kill, you can read about it here and here.

    Cliffs: It's not fun.
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Gotcha, I thought you meant that being down was a recent thing.
     
  18. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    I dunno, I think depending on the intensity of the make-out most guys to get boners. I know I do. And I'm proud of it. I let her know that as well.
     

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