MIL no contact order are you %#$*&! kidding?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by dubrocker, Jun 13, 2006.

  1. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    hello all. i know i am brand spanking new, wet behind the ears, yadda yadda. i was on OT back before the new logo and the ads. i got married, had a kid, divorced, and didn't maintain my affair with OT. now i am back to feed my internet hunger. i also realize i am without av.

    i just recieved a verbal no contact order over the phone, to not contact my live in girlfriend of 2 years. i am tdy. i have custody of my 3 year old who also lives with said girlfriend and i. his mom lives just down the road. she leaves on the 17th for 7 level school and will not be around to watch my kid while i deal with this.

    if i am at our house and she shows up, can she not come in, or do i have to leave? vice versa if she is there can i not go in or does she have to leave? my head is spinning with what if's.

    gf's problem originated with our very recent break up. now she is being as vengeful as possible.




    cliffs: "new" guy gets no contact order, has no clue what to do.
     
  2. mtnbike4522

    mtnbike4522 CelicaTech.com

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    umm.. get rid of her....
     
  3. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    Does either of you own the house? If you rent, who's name is on the lease or contract?

    I'm thinking that whoever owns or signed the contract for the house stays. The other person goes. :dunno:


    edit: Oh - and welcome to Teh Barracks! :wavey:
     
  4. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    we are both on the lease, we rent. hence dilemma.

    i plan on getting rid of her. i'm just really taken back by all of this. i asked her to not do a thing till i got back (in a couple days) and we could sort this like adults. sick to my stomach is an understatement.

    thanks for the welcome, i was apprehensive about posting, OT can really be hard on the virgins.
     
  5. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    ouch. I wonder if the court would take your son into account and require that the GF vacate the home? :x:

    We try to keep the noob bashing out of Teh Barracks. Mostly. Unless you spend an inordinate number of months in the Delayed Enlistment Program, that is. :hsugh:
     
  6. TRN

    TRN Well-Known Member

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    I would assume your son would give you special consideration.

    However, why did she have this no contact order out on you.

    Tell us the WHOLE deal.
     
  7. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    whew ok. the WHOLE deal.

    i divorced my wife and have custody of my son with her. i am the custodial parent. she pays me child support. she lives about 20 miles away from me. he spends the second 2 weeks of every month with her and the first two with me. when i pcs, my son stays with me.

    now, on to the girlfriend.
    she and i have been together for almost 2 years. our relationship has been very rocky for the past 3 months or so. something came up with work and i found out friday that i was leaving saturday for no more than 2 weeks. the night before my departure i was packing and recieved a text message from someone she did not know about, that i had not talked to in a few months. the message said "hi".

    she asked who it was. i lied and said don't worry about it. the lie backfired on me. i didn't want to explain to her at 2am that someone she didn't know was texting me. i had to be at the airport for 4am. she caught me in the lie after i had someone else try to cover for me. i told her to wait till i got home and i would clear everything up.

    she didn't wait. she told her O-6 that i hit her. my first shirt called me and gave me a verbal no contact.

    here i am, head spinning, trying to figure out if my career is now over.

    i really hoped to introduce myself on a positive note and get to know you all before posting something like this. sorry.

    edit- my son is currently at his mom's. when i get back, she is going to 7 level school and he'll be with me for two months straight.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2006
  8. Drunk Bastard Audio

    Drunk Bastard Audio New Member

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    so did ya?
     
  9. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    no. argued, screamed, jumped up and down, walked out of the house, drove off, stayed away for a day, yes.
     
  10. brackac

    brackac Fuck all of this. OT Supporter

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    Welcome to the grave you dug. We are also getting only your side of this story. Which will always be the nice "I did nothing wrong" side.
     
  11. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    i know. i think i was/ am seeking some sort of place to dump this stress where people know what i'm talking about
     
  12. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    legal office ftw. talk to your shirt and spindoctor her story. btw TELL THE TRUTH THIS TIME!
     
  13. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    :2006: :rolleyes:





    :mamoru:
     
  14. i_is_surf

    i_is_surf New Member

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    Ok first things first...

    Go and talk to an Area Defense Counsel (ADC) Get them to open a case on you so they can start legally representing you.

    Short of that, know that a first sergeant CAN NOT issue a no-contact order. It also CAN NOT be verbal.

    They HAVE to do one of two things:

    They either do a USAF No-contact order which is an MFR outlining the reasons why you can't talk to her and is signed by a commissioned officer that has jurisdiction over you, with you acknowledging reciept of it. They provide a copy to her for records.

    Or, they give you a Military Protection Order (The DOD form # escapes me at the moment) Same thing there, they have to outline why they are doing it. It has to be signed by a commissioned officer that has jurisdiction over you. They keep a copy, a copy goes in your PIF, you get a copy, and she will get a copy.

    Short of that, talk to the ADC because he will advise you on your best course of action.

    Good luck, and welcome to Teh Barracks.
     
  15. MrRyan

    MrRyan Gary Johnson 2016 OT Supporter

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    I take it you have experience in this area. Yeah...I was pretty much thinking along these lines minus the specific AF guidance. The verbal from an NCO would never stand up in a court of law especially when there is the welfare of your child at stake. Time to inform her she must move out of your home. Call and have her removed from your contract with the apt complex if you can. Realize she has no claim to your child and any court of law would side with you removing her from your home.

    now, this is where it would get tricky in the Army. The child is a double edged sword. You can't just kick her out unless you have another child care solution which it sounds like you don't. So how do you solve this? Sounds like you need the involvement of your CO to apply some practical standards here. Obviously you left the GF in charge of the child and this no contact order from the shirt doesn't make sense in the care of this child. You're going to need to make him rethink his clouded decision. know that disobeying his verbal no contact order wouldn't hold under much scruitiny from any court (military or otherwise) because of the child situation.

    Also realize that just becuase she said this to her O-6 doesn't mean shit because it's not an official police (military or otherwise) report. She can't be held liable if she's lying nor is there any investigating body that acts in the interest of the law...

    If I were you I'd be more mad at your shirt for taking her side instead of protecting you as one of his airmen.
     
  16. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    happens all too often.
     
  17. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    my girlfriend is not the mother of my child, my ex-wife is. said child is @ mother's. girlfriend doesn't have him at the moment. i am tdy for a couple more days. when i get home, i'll have my son.

    the girlfriend has agreed to leave the house. i can't afford it alone, so i see my only other option is to move into base housing. i just hope i get a decent house, there are some disgusting houses here.

    my shirt is second guessing everything that comes out of my mouth. told them i wanted to move into base housing. she asked if i had custody of my son. i said yes, and it took us 10 minutes to progress with the conversation; she didn't believe i was the custodial parent and kept telling me i needed court papers blah blah blah.

    so the shirt is only trying to bully me into not contacting her until i recieve a hard copy no contact order? THAT is confusing.
     
  18. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    the other half of the story i can't tell, since it would still be one sided. i can tell you that is has roots in a previous marriage filled with some really bad abuse. sometimes, i feel like she is talking to her ex when she is talking to me.
     
  19. Drunk Bastard Audio

    Drunk Bastard Audio New Member

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    violence is never the answer...






















    but sometimes murder is.
     
  20. MrRyan

    MrRyan Gary Johnson 2016 OT Supporter

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    :hsugh: 1/3

    1) His Side
    2) Her Side
    3) The truth which oftentimes lies somewhere inbetween 1 & 2.
     
  21. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    suddenly one part of this puzzle begins to make sense.
     
  22. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    i try really hard to look at things objectively... but reality soon sets in
     
  23. dubrocker

    dubrocker sho nuff

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    just wanted to update-

    life sucks. if i didn't have a kid, i would probably be ok with just dying. not my hair.
     
  24. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    lifeskills...
     
  25. DSHR

    DSHR Well-Known Member

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    Best of luck :(.
     

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