SRS Nice guys finish last

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Mark, Mar 22, 2007.

  1. Mark

    Mark Diesel Junkie

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    OK, this is a mendless rant. I'm not even gonna reread it before i post so stfu if you have any issues.

    For the past year i've devoted countless hours and $$ to a girl who i ended up falling in love with. She always flirted back and we always had a great time together. Basically, i thought we were perfect but i didnt wanna rush things so i fell into the friends zone. long story short i ask her to be my girl i get told no. and within 1 week she is talking about other guys she likes. She gets her heart borken by some asshat who just wanted her for sex then comes running to me. I get mad at her and tell her she is going after assholes and oh by the way i know her better then any other guy on this earth and she turned me down so dont expect any sympathy from me.

    So basically i'm in love with my best friend who keeps going for assholes who break her heart. WHenever she talks about her perfect guy she basically describes me. THe worst part is that she doesnt even realize it.

    I actaully cried ever this on the way home. I never cry about anything.

    Women suck
     
  2. Swedish Boost

    Swedish Boost New Member

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    You are in the friendszone. If you don't want to be there, then remove her from your life. She is the one losing, not you.
     
  3. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    I had the exact opposite thing happen to me. I'm a total sweetie, not a bitch in any way. So I meet this guy, and totally fall in love with him, he seems sweet, is sweet, he's everything I've ever dreamed of, he's sensitive, he's gorgeous, talented, intelligent, likes enough things that i like to be able to actually get along, and we have so much fun together...also I am everything he's been looking for in a girl...except for *something* but he can't specify what that one thing is that I lack, cause he doesn't know...so he got me into a serious relationship with him, and then he drags it to pieces, treats me like crap - never made time for me, then broke up with me for absolutely no reason...he still doesn't know why, I've asked him and he sincerely does not know...he admits that everything was great...and I've been crying over this for almost a year now begging him to please gget back together with me, and asking for a good reason as to why he's not...he can't give one.

    Since then the only guys who've asked me out have all been assholes, and I'm depressed over it.

    so men suck too

    And I'm sorry, nothing makes it feel better, but empathy helps. <3

    just know that there are females out there who are wanting guys like you in their lives - don't give up.
     
  4. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Yea man....She put you in the friendzone so fuck that. She's got a good guy right under her nose and doesn't realize it. Most girls are like this.

    I was recently dubbed a friend too by some girl, granted my relationship was a LDR but still...I told her I don't want to be JUST a friend. I want to be more. She didn't want it or couldn't do it or whatever so I said fine. Whatever. Her lost. I was willing, she wasn't. I haven't made contact again and if she does then I'm goin to ignore it.

    I suggest you do the same.
     
  5. PanzerAce

    PanzerAce Active Member

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    Sucks to hear that dude, I basically am in the same situation, but I have cut her out of my life, and things are going a little better for me.
     
  6. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    Nice guys don't finish last. They finish first, the assholes just don't realize it yet. Every girl goes through that rebel period it seems. If you don't want to be friendzoned next time, make sure she knows your intentions. Give her a bit of chase she wants and don't always be predictable. Do some assholish stuff just to throw her off and she will fall for ya.

    Sometimes girls love the Mind games more than the relationships.
     
  7. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Why are you begging for him?? Thats so damn pathetic. I say Fuck Him.

    He doesn't know why he broke up with you??? that BULLSHIT. He knows but he won't say. Maybe he cheated and the shit is gettin to him. Either way - Fuck Him.

    Move on and make him realize what he's missing. Don't give him another chance. He dumped you so Fuck Him and his issues.

    Don't cry for him.....I hate that shit when a girl cries over some guy who dumped them. He may be everything you wanted but he's obviously a whack job.

    Have you ever asked him if he cheated on you??? Or maybe he is interested in someone else??

     
  8. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Happens to the best of us. Sounds just like me a few years ago. A lot of time and $, me finally falling for her, her getting fucked by assholes, me crying a few times, and finally breaking it off. The last step is what you need to take. Just stop talking to her, you'll feel much better. At first, things felt different without her, but then I realized how free I felt.
     
  9. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    He is, actually to be honest, I really believe the reason might be that he's gay, or questioning. He's attracted to the most masculine type of women, and i'm in no way masculine. I don't mean that in a mean way, but a sincere way. But see...it wouldn't be so bad if I met even one decent guy since he broke up with me. But every single guy just validates why I wanted to be with him in the first place. He doesn't do drugs, has a job, is going to school, etc etc...and no he doesn't know, he's pulled 8 shit reasons out of his ass in an attempt to tell me *something.*

    And yes, I've asked him if he's interested in other girls, he said no one yet, but that he's looking. He can list out whole genuine reasons he still likes me, and he does, he's still a friend (sort of). But it's just making me feel worse.

    Really, it'd be A LOT easier to get over him if I met someone, well, sober.
     
  10. Mark

    Mark Diesel Junkie

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    Your damn right they do. I'm not interested in playing them and i'm very bitter that i'm at the point where i'm gonna start. I dont want to screw around, i want a real, honest and open woman who i can love and trust.
     
  11. CaliforniaPlaya

    CaliforniaPlaya New Member

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    The one thing that I can't do for some reason is to throw these types of friendships away. I almost think that I'm too nice (not too good, just nice) sometimes and try to keep these people in my life, even though it mentally hurts me.

    I went through something similar a few years ago and have continued to be friends with this person. Even though it has cost me more $ and more mental pain.
     
  12. Mark

    Mark Diesel Junkie

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    girls figure that out after they are divorced with 2 kids cuz Mr Perfect who is an asshole left them.

    This girl was..... So pure....
     
  13. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    You'll find her. I intended that with my ex too, but he just want to fool around I guess. Really, let yourself feel what you're feeling, but don't let it mess you up, or make you stop wanting what you're looking for. To be honest, it's kinda nice to know that there are guys in this world looking for something real. Kinda gives me hope.
     
  14. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Interesting. I had a girlfriend dump me about a year and a half ago with the same shit. "I dont know, im sorry". Like wtf is that? Then it really fucks with me because sometimes we have a great time together and I wonder if she is having second thoughts or something. Having a relationship end when nothing really went wrong is really really shitty.
     
  15. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    it's the worst. One decent bad thing between us and i'd have a justifiable "reason" to move on, but he doesn't have one. I've even tried totally pissing him off to the point where if he had a mean one, he would have said it. Me n him just had a really great day together last Thursday, really fun day, as perfect as it always was. We never ever fought, never disagreed on anything major, so it all came back...now I'm stuck realizing it all again. It really was as close to perfect as possible...and he's just tossing it. Love really hurts when it's tossed away for no reason.
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Well, there's your first problem. Why would you spend time and money on some chick for no reason? You are setting yourself up to get used. Treat girls like equals, don't put them up on a pedestal. She is nothing special, there are plenty of other girls in this world and you'll find other ones who like you.

    No, people who don't understand attraction suck. SHE WAS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU! It's that simple. There is nothing for her to "realize". You are either attracted to someone or you're not. You can't force a girl to be attracted to you and no matter how great you think you are together it doesn't matter. She does not feel that you have that same chemistry together and without that chemistry you won't be anything more than friends.

    Stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and move on. You obviously can't handle just being friends with her so don't be her friend. Go out and meet new girls and stop obsessing over this one. You can't be attracted to every person of the opposite sex that you get along with and no matter how much you sit around and wish things are different, they won't be. You can't change how someone feels, the only thing you can change is how you react to it.
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You lack that chemistry, that's it. Or if he really is gay then you lack a penis. Either way, you can't change it. Stop hanging out with him so you can move on and find a guy who does want to be with you.
     
  18. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Have you ever asked him if he is gay?? or maybe Bi?? Or he doesn't know what he is??

    Were you guys getting really serious?? Maybe that scared him away??
     
  19. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    ...but...:hs:
     
  20. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    He's right. If you just keep hanging out with him, you'll always be hanging onto hope and it will never be realized because he doesn't feel the same. Do you really want to be hanging onto that and wasting away time that you could be using to meet other guys??

    He doesn't know what he wants and if he is questioning his sexual perference then he has a long way to go.

    I would just suggest movin on and forgetting about him.
     
  21. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    It's time to quit making excuses. Either take action to change it or don't complain about it. Yes you get along so great and you think you can't live without him :mb: :mb: You don't have to stop talking to the guy forever but you will never get over him if you don't stay away from him for awhile. Do you want to spend years desperately chasing some guy that's not interested in you? You could be using this time to better yourself and find someone that wants to date you. Nothing you say or do is ever going to change the way he feels. You will get over him at some point but you need to take action for it to happen.

    I've been through this before, it's not fun. I was in love with a close friend of mine when I was around 18 and eventually he ended up moving across the country. We still talked off and on and I saw him recently and I was very happy to see that I had absolutely no feelings for him at all anymore. We had a great time hanging out as friends but I had no desire for anything more. I look back on it now and wonder wtf I was thinking. There's nothing worse than sitting around hoping someone is going to change their mind about you. It just doesn't happen that way. You have to let yourself move on so you can be happy.
     
  22. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I am not a he :mepoke:
     
  23. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    We were really seriously with each other. He told his mom about me type of serious. (she lives in another state). I should prob start my own thread (haha sorry Mark) Another thing is this: his first gf broke up with him after 3 months, for no good reason too, he did the same to me (I shoulda mentioned he was my first serious bf, I'm not into screwing around so it took a while to meet someone "worthy" it means little really, other than waiting so long to get dumped). I didn't know that his first did that or I would have been pissed when he did it to me (I'm #2). He basically repeated the same scenario, which is why he's being kind to me cause he knows how I feel...I feel how he felt.

    The reason I do think it's possible that he's questioning, is that all the women he's showed me pics of that he's attracted to are these seriously male-based type females (don't laugh: Ann Coulter, Kathleen Turner, etc. etc.) He wanted me to be able to go backpacking with him 10 miles w/ a 30lb backpack, I love hiking but I can't do 10 miles. He wanted me to go shooting with him. 10 mile bike racing. He doesn't "like" women, or feminine energy, he likes women who like guy things. I'm as close as he'll ever get, trust me, but I'm still a total female. The biggest issue if he is, is that his dad is gay, and I think he's confused, honestly. And yes, I've let him know it's okay, I'm here...but I don't know...
     
  24. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i agree with this one. i once was in love with my best friend, and now that i think back to it i wonder what the fuck i was thinking. I guess i loved the idea of being with someone that i had a close relationship with not the actual person.
     
  25. MementoVivre

    MementoVivre like the cat...

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    maybe that's my problem...I love and like *him.*
     

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