FRK Newbie needing a little advice... (E.D. Related)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by *Anthony*, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    Okay... I have a slight problem. It's not a consistent problem. But, when this problem rears it's ugly face, it is DEVASTATING!!

    Occasionally, when in the bedroom, I have a hard time keeping an erection, or even establishing one to begin with. I have had a hard time talking with people, including doctors, because it is rather embarrassing and I am only 24 years old.

    I know that it doesn't help matters when I begin thinking things like is it going to happen or what if it happens? If I do this, it only makes matters worse. But, once it starts there is no reversing it. By that time I am so focused on the epic failure that I am not even enjoying myself.

    This doesn't happen very often, but it does happen. Like tonight, we began with foreplay and then, for whatever reason, those thoughts crossed my mind.

    So, what I am asking for is a little bit of advice. I am sure that I am not the only person that this has happened to and I am sure that it is more of a psychological battle than a physical one.

    So, guys, how do you handle this major blow to the ego? Is there anything that your SO can do to help? Ladies, chime in too if you have dealt with this before? And, please, no one say Viagra, Cialis, or other ED drug. They only work if these problems I am stating are not present.

    Like I said, it is major embarrassing and it sometimes leads to my girlfriend thinking that maybe I'm not attracted to her anymore. Give a newbie a hand. Thanks. :hs:
     
  2. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    do you do drugs/drunk at this time ?
     
  3. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    1 Do you smoke? Smoking is the #1 cause of ED in men under 40...

    2 Sounds like a major case of performance anxiety. Like you already mentioned, you get so worked up worrying about the possibility of failure, you're not even enjoying yourself anymore. That itself could be a contributing factor in this.

    The only thing i can really tell you, is that you must go see your doctor about this. Docs are professionals. you could show them or tell them a million different bizarre things, and they'll take it in stride. I've only seen a doctor lose his composure once, and that was when i showed him a hemorrhoid the size of a golf ball. This is a serious issue, and a common one, even in young men. Go see your doc.
     
  4. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    No. I do drink and I smoke pot on a rare occasion, but this issue has shown itself since before I did either.
     
  5. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    How common in 24 year olds though? I mean I have mentioned it to my closest friends and they don't claim anything of the sort.
     
  6. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    How many really would? It is embarrassing. This is the kind of thing that's supposed to happen to your grandfather, not to you, right? It's far more common than you would imagine, and probably has a much higher occurrence than studies would show, just because most men that have the issue would rather not admit it publicly. Go see your doctor. That's what they're there for.
     
  7. Soybomb

    Soybomb New Member

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    Its your nerves son. ;) You're worried about not staying hard which leads to the inability to stay hard. If you can master not worrying about it, you'll stay hard like steel.
     
  8. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    Exactly. I know this much about it, I just am not sure which direction to go with it and how not to focus on it when I think it's happening
     
  9. Libera

    Libera New Member

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    I'm not a guy, but I'll try to help anyway. You need to stop worrying about it. It really isn't a big deal if it happens. There are other ways (kissing, fingering, oral, toys, etc) you can please a woman without having an erection. If you concentrate on that, you might find yourself hard after giving your SO some pleasure. Don't focus on your erection, focus on her.

    Don't start foreplay already thinking it's going to happen. You aren't giving yourself a chance when you do this. Just because it happened last time, doesn't mean it will this time. And, if it does, it isn't the end of the world.

    You can explain to your SO that you are very attracted to her and you are just having some performance anxiety because you want to please her so much. Now, get back in the saddle and have some fun :big grin:
     
  10. Elfling

    Elfling New Member

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    +1.

    Also, just examine your stress levels in general in life.
     
  11. e.pie

    e.pie Active Member

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    this

    it happens to me sometimes, it will start to go soft a little bit in the middle of sex, and then it's all I can think about which just makes the problem worse :sad2:

    it doesn't happen all the time but when it does it's really frustrating, I explained what was happening to my wife though and she manages to get me to relax and get it nice and hard again :)
     
  12. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    EXACTLY. Sometimes she can get me to chill and it's all good from there on, but other times, usually when life is more stressed, nothing works. Sounds like I just need to quit putting so much pressure on myself and learn to quit flexing my give-a-fuck so often.

    Anyone else wants to chime in, feel free to do so. Personally, though, I feel better about it already.

    And, Magalicious, what you said helps more than you would think. My SO says the same thing, but it only leaves me thinking it's because she loves me. Hearing a third party, especially a female, say the same thing puts me in much better spirits.

    This is probably the only place that I have been that I could talk about this type of subject matter and not feel embarrassed. You guys are awesome.:bigthumb:
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    thats kinda amusing that you say you have a problem talking to the doctor about it :rofl:

    I was with my personal physician a few weeks ago for an ED problem that I brought onto myself and i was just non chalantly yeah doctor, my shit isnt working, this is bullshit, I want you to prescribe me x y and z, ok abomb now drop your shorts im going to fondle your balls, ok np doc do your thing, then pull pants up and proceed to collecting my prescriptions.

    oh yeah im also 23.
     
  14. Ashley

    Ashley EEK!!!!

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    My SO's problem, he keeps it down to a minimum now and we haven't had any real issues. I feel bad b/c I know its not intentional, but frustrating when I want it and can't have it, and starts to wear on your self esteem even when u try not to
     
  15. MaximaDrvr

    MaximaDrvr Member

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    :sadwavey: I'm 25, and have this problem occasionally. What kills me, is the fact that I start to go soft. That is what I hate the most. Then, once it starts, I fixate, and it is game over.
    For me, it is about 1/30 that this happens and it is still a blow to the ego.
    I don't smoke, and only drink once in a while.
     
  16. Justin636

    Justin636 Active Member

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    fucking werd


    Had the issue a while back when I was with different girls and never really found someone I truely cared about. Has never happened with the wife.

    Come to think of it, I was about 24-25 when it was happening.
     
  17. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I'm 20 and I have it bad :wtc:

    I do get hard from time to time, but even sitting at my computer wackin it I still often have just a semi. Since the first night I was ever with a girl, I had problems. At first I figured it was just whiskey dick since I'd been drinking, but it still left some concerns in the back of my mind. The next time we got together, I didn't drink at all and it happened again. For the next week, I didn't jack off or even look at porn, didn't smoke, ate healthy, didn't drink again when we were together, and it still happened. I've gotten together with this girl (my first and only) a few more times, and every time it happens. I've only had a few minutes of actual sex before it goes limp. I figure it's mostly performance anxiety, since every time I'm about to get with a girl, I'm just terrified that it'll happen again, so obviously it does. I try to keep my mind off of it and stop worrying, but I just can't do it. Its making me avoid going after girls at all now, since I'd rather get nothing at all than have to face the embarassment of ED. Is there anything I can do? At this point, I'm willing to consider meds.
     
  18. FairyTat

    FairyTat Anticipation, the taste of things to cum

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    I have to agree with Magalicious. There are so many ways to please a woman. If you put the focus on her and talk to her about what's going on it shouldn't be a problem. I'm seeing someone on and off that has the same issue. Usually we get past it when he starts really getting into me and the pleasure he's giving me. I have no complaints about his performance even when we don't have actual intercourse. The less we both focus on it the less it happens.
     
  19. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    Dude, my issue was like yours at first. The first time my current SO and I had sex it happened. After that, it was a train wreck. I couldn't keep my mind off of it. Every time thereafter it happened. I did talk to my sex-shop-owning friend and he said that he had some pills called Rize2 at his shop that worked for erections. I tried it and BOOM... instant steel the moment we began foreplay. But, it was pricey. 8 or 9 dollars a pop. So, I started looking into alternatives. I found something at The Vitamin Shoppe called Steam. It was identical in ingredients to the Rize2 I had been taking. It worked better than it as far as I could tell and it was $25 for 5 pills versus $9 for a single pill.

    What I am getting at is, while taking the supps I wasn't focusing on what was going to happen because something had my back... or my front so to speak. This got me out of the habit of focusing on whether or not it would happen to me the next time. Later, I discontinued use of either product and had a great success the next time we were intimate. Steel again... with no help. This proved to me that I was capable on my own. Since then, it has gone from being a definite will-happen to a very seldom occurring problem. But, I will tell you, when it does happen again, it will bother you just as bad... and it does happen at times when life in general is very stressful.

    It's a psycological battle man. Think about what I have said and make your own decision about whether this is right for you. Do your research and listen to the warnings on the bottle about if you have a history of blood pressure problems and things like that. Trust me, a limp dick beats the hell out of a non-beating heart. Good luck and I hope this helps. If there are any questions about anything I said, just ask. :)
     
  20. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    I'll definitely have to try that. I feel like if I can get it up and get a good night of sex just once, I'll break through this psychological barrier, since I never noticed any trouble getting it up until that first time when I was with the girl, she started giving me a BJ, and I'm just laying there thinking "...uh oh, this is gonna get real awkward in the next 30-60 seconds."
    Though at the very least, it did get me to focus on my oral skills. She certainly seems to enjoy my tongue as a supplement to cock.
     
  21. *Anthony*

    *Anthony* New Member

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    Well, like I said, if I can help just let me know. I'll do my best.
     
  22. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    I have diabetes, and when my blood sugar is too low, I can't get hard, or if I get hard, I can't stay hard.

    But, once I have a little cranberry juice, I'm insta-erect and ready for action.

    So, I'd go to a doctor and see if your blood sugars are out of whack.
     
  23. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    I would have to recommend pure pomegranite juice. has the natural sugars + has a mechanism in the human body that can increase erection quality
     
  24. Drunken Karnie Midget

    Drunken Karnie Midget In Yeo We Trust, All Others Pay Cash OT Supporter

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    I agree with everything in this statement, except for the first sentence. 1: it hasn't happened to every man on the planet, and 2: You overestimate the intelligence of the youth of this world. other than that :bigthumb:
     
  25. ASIANPRIDE

    ASIANPRIDE OT Supporter

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