Newbie here having a sex problem..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Hym3n, Apr 17, 2005.

  1. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    So I'm pretty new to both OT and to sex, so for the purpose of my problem I'll share the limited experience I have.

    Girl 1 - We have sex, one time, nothing else. There's ~2 hours of penetration, and after her third time, she's getting tired, and pretty much asks to quit. I did not cum.

    Girl 2 - She gives me head a few times, nothing else. I have no problem cumming, and rather quickly at that, each time. Compared to Girl 1, I have very little interest in this girl, so I know that it's not that I simply "like her more" or anything like that..

    Girl 3 - We had sex last night and this morning. Last night, a solid hour of penetration, and she's "starting to get dry." I didn't want to hurt her or make it uncomfortable, so I stop. I did not cum. We started to do it again this morning, and went at it for probably 15 minutes, in which time, again, I did not cum.

    I'm thinking that I simply cannot cum during sex. I can feel it more or less building up within my penis, it feels great and all, but just doesn't happen, no orgasm. I have no problem doing it on my own, and apparently have no problem when getting head. So what's up with that? It doesn't so much annoy me as it does simply hurt my feelings.. it makes me feel like less of a man and well.. simply hurts.

    Any ideas? Anyone else have this problem?

    CLIFFS: I cannot cum during intercourse. What can I do?
     
  2. m_-f

    m_-f New Member

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    #1 stop jacking off so much

    #2 buy some lube

    #3 think about another girl that is hotter than her
     
  3. Zemo

    Zemo n00b of the year

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    Believe it or not, this can be a good thing. This is actually a goal in Tantric sex. If you're not planning on cumming, you're able to better focus on your and her bodies (and the 7 shakras, if you're into that sorta thing) and highten your sexual awareness. As a result, you can teach yourself to take each small amount of pleasure, and make it into its own small orgasm....one that doesn't end, but only intensifies, and lasts hours. In all actuallity, an hour long slowly building orgasm is way better than a single explosive 15 second orgasm....

    If you really feel the need to cum during sex, ignore it. Follow my above advice. Very likely you'll build up the tension for a normal orgasm, from the combined hightened sexual awareness, plus physical stimulation.
     
  4. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    Haven't gotten off on my own in several days at the time we had sex, and I can honestly say that we don't need lube as I'm finding it to be overly wet as-is (dripping wet lol..). I'll try thinking about another girl, sounds terrible, but it probably works.

    I like the sound of this better. Going to read up on it some more, thank you very much for the advice.
     
  5. m_-f

    m_-f New Member

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    ibdrunkwheniwrotethat

    :rofl:
     
  6. BTA

    BTA New Member

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    Lube might actually be a good idea. Sometimes if my lady is a little dry and the friction is kinda high I have trouble really getting stimulated right.

    A good wad of spit on yer jimmy works fine too.

    You could also think about your favorite porno scene (you know you have one)
     
  7. Coco Monkey

    Coco Monkey OT Supporter

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    its not uncommon for this actually. my advice is to have sex with more girls. i've found that in my different women, some were able to get me off faster then others. some, like you said, just couldnt get me off at all. oral OR intercourse.

    i wouldnt worry too much about it at this point. if youre 30 years old however, and this is still a problem, i'd have it checked out.
     
  8. remike

    remike the second coming

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    Just like you had to learn to orgasm by yourself, you need to learn to orgasm with a partner. In highschool, I had sex like 6 times with my GF before busting a nut. It has a lot to do with comfort and emotion, not just lube and friction. You also might be trying too hard. Just havee fun with it. Don't hurry, often the slower the better.

    You have nothing to worry about.
     
  9. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    Quoted for troof!

    I'm 17. In a relationship with this girl right now, so I'm not about to go out and take on the world (sounds fun, but not for right now, I'm actually looking for a relationship at the moment, and this is working good so far).

    This one, and everyone else, thank you very much. I was disappointed after my first time to not "finish the job," but since our 'relationship' sort-of went to shit afterwards (unrelated.. she had a boyfriend and that was not me..), I didn't really care all that much. With this girl, I was really just plain sad after not being able, it bummed me out hardcore and I had really wanted things to work. So again, thank you everyone, I'm feeling a lot better after reading all of this, and I'm eager to go at it again :) ...with a condom of course...
     
  10. XsLiCk

    XsLiCk New Member

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    you are gay...
     
  11. Hym3n

    Hym3n New Member

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    UPDATE: WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!! Yeah, it happened. Basically, she went first, I was still taking a while (~an hour) and she's like "dammit, what do I have to do?" I'm like "fuck it, just use your hand.. or your mouth.." and we eventually break into a bit of a conversation while going at it. Totally took my mind off of it, and shortly thereafter it was all good :)

    Thought you'd want to know.
    I know you did.

    Hhaahhahahaha, anyways, thanks again for support/comments/whatever.
     
  12. Freeze Time

    Freeze Time New Member

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    I dont think ive ever had an orgasm the first time i have sex with a girl. Its a mixture of nerves, and trying to learn about your partner, what positions work best, what she likes, etc.

    Trust us on one thing though it is NOT a bad thing. If nothing else, she'll think youre not being selfish like most guys and will want to continue to have sex with you.

    Just concentrate on making her happy and you will find that when she responds to it you will respond to, and it will make the sex that much better, especially the end result.
     

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