New Relationship Advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MattT1685, Jul 21, 2009.

  1. MattT1685

    MattT1685 New Member

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    OK so first time post here and it's kind of long so bear with me.

    I met this girl about 2 and a half months ago at the end of April. We hit it off right away and for the most part have been inseparable since. We talk every night and hang out at least 4-5 times a week. She is honestly one of the coolest girls that I've dated and i've never fallen for someone as much as her as quickly. She tells me that she feels the same way. Everything is great when I'm with her.

    So after we've been hanging out for a month or so we start talking about previous relationships and what not. She tells me that she had a long distance relationship with this guy for a year and a half and that they broke up about 2 weeks before we met. They broke up since she was getting frustrated that they couldn't see each other a lot and felt that they were growing apart. Since this guy lives in California now, i really wasn't concerned at the time. She did tell me that he asked her to move out there with him (we live on the east coast now).

    Anyway, recently I've had this suspicion that she's still been talking with her ex. Sometimes when we're hanging out, she'll go make a phone call where i wouldn't be able to hear the conversation. Also, she’s been sitting on my lap before and received a text from a friend. She opened up her inbox on her phone and there was a bunch of texts from him in there. I've asked her about this before and she just told me that sometimes he just calls to say hi and that i have nothing to worry about.

    I became really suspicious over July 4th weekend. About a week and a half before the 4th, she told me that she had plans to go visit her cousin in Philadelphia. This threw up a red flag right away since I knew that flights would be really expensive that close to a holiday weekend and there's no way she could afford it but I decided not to confront her about it since i had no proof. Also one of her friends from home had posted on her facebook wall "have fun in Nantucket over the 4th". That weekend i rarely heard from her and when I called she never would pick up which was very unusual with her. She would always call me back 10-15 min later. Feeling that something wasn't right, I decided to test her and offer to pick her at the airport when she got back. She told me that her flight got in around 10:30pm and that she would call me when she got to the airport in Philadelphia. I never heard from her. Just in case she didn't have time to call before she left, I decided I would check to see what times flights were arriving from Phil. There were no flights arriving at the time she claimed. There was a flight arriving at 9:30pm and 1:30am. That night around 11:45 i received a text from her saying she missed her flight and had to take a later one and just got in. She told me that she had a friend pick her up in case i was sleeping. I knew right then that she was lying.

    Still with no other proof besides flight arrival times I didn't want to confront her about it and seem completely nuts. Since that weekend, everything has been like it was before. She always tells me how crazy she is for me and how she misses me when we're not together.

    Fast forward to a few days ago. I'm at her place and her computer is locked so she gives me the password so i can use it while she is getting ready. So the next day while I'm at work, i was curious and decided to see if the password she gave me was the same one she used for her email account. It was. Looking through her emails confirmed my suspicions. She's still been talking with her ex pretty much whole time we’ve been dating. And that 4th of July weekend, she was with him in Nantucket just like i had thought.

    Sorry for the rant, but now is where i need advice. How do i confront her about this and tell her that I know she is lying to me about him? I don’t want to sound crazy and tell her that I went through her emails. Or do i just dump her ass and move on before I get even more attached?

    Matt
     
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You've been together ~2 months. Who cares about confronting her, just drop her like a bad habit.

    If it had been longer then my advice might be different. But 2 months isn't exactly much time, tell her you two are done and that's that. If she asks tell her that you know she's been lying about her other bf, but I wouldn't go into detail about how you got your proof.
     
  3. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    Yes and if you confront her, she will lie
     
  4. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    /thread

    your gf is a whore :hs:
     
  5. Deepsouthwrx

    Deepsouthwrx If in doubt, flat out!

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    Get out asap or your just gonna get hurt later down the road.
     
  6. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    And the OP violated her trust by snooping through her e-mail.

    This relationship is a train wreck.

    [​IMG]

    Xapu, you'll probably also not want to make it a habbit of violating your GF's trust. If you were a stronger/smarter man, you would have asked her yourself what was going, and made a judgement call without having to ask us, or snooping through her e-mail. Hopefully, this has been a learning experience for you, and you'll be able to recognize signs in the future.

    Seriously though, don't be reading your SO's e-mails.
     
  7. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    relationships are built on trust and communication. seeing as though you found this out, you will not be able to regain your trust. she didn't communicate with you. you should just end things with her.
     
  8. MattT1685

    MattT1685 New Member

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    Yea that's pretty much confirmed what I've been thinking. It's just tough since I've really started to like this girl but it's better to get out now. What's everybody's thoughts about telling her ex that she's been cheating on him just to fuck her over as well?
     
  9. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    You'll be doing him a favor.

    However, i strongly prefer to mind my own business. No need adding more drama to your life. Let's be more concerned about you getting a clean break ok?

    Things will work out naturally for them.
     
  10. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    It's only going to create more unnecessary drama than what will come. I really wouldn't bring it up. If she is that way, she will end up being the one that is going to have to deal with it in the long run. It is not your battle to fight imo.
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    It would be epically hilarious if you e-mailed him from her e-mail account as her telling him all about you and how much you are falling for yourself (as her remember) and that you are leaving him.

    Then block her phone number and e-mails.
     
  12. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    Don't do it, none of your business. Just leave her.
     
  13. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    Turn the tables man, here's your chance. She fucked you over, this is an opportunity to fuck her over.
     
  14. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    Just say I'm out of here and get it over with.
     
  15. Emfuser

    Emfuser Nuclear Moderator Super Moderator

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    What a mess you've gotten yourself into.
     
  16. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    I've had an experience like this a few years ago, girls like this make completely no sense. Why not just be up front and honest? Granted her relationship with her previous bf was more serious than your 2 month fling.. but still..

    /rant
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    he had good reason to suspect her.. i see no problem with confirming said suspicion :dunno:
     
  18. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    I'm 50/50 on machiavellian tactics.

    While i can see how they benefited Xapu in this case, he can't exactly tell the girl "I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU SLUT, BECAUSE I READ YOUR E-MAIL!!!" can he?

    Dating isn't warfare, no need to pull out all stops and start throwing ethics and morality out the window the second you get interested in a girl, lol. Such behavior reeks of insecurity and immaturity. Why doesn't he get his friends to spy on her, and read her diary to him too, :mamoru:

    Any how, avoiding girls with questionable characters and extricating one's self from any involvement with this girl would be a good idea. Clearly a man eater and emotionally manipulative.
     
  19. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    the mature thing to do would be to just leave w.o saying anything to the other guy.

    what would i do? id fuck her over! bitch deserves it and the other guy is in a shitty situation like you were. he deserves to know.
     
  20. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    he doesnt have to tell the girl why hes breaking up.. but he should know hes breaking up with her because shes a cheating whore :dunno:
     
  21. ChipOnShoulder

    ChipOnShoulder New Member

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    I agree 100%.

    The flight investigation would have been enough for me to talk to her about it though... i just don't like the idea of losing the moral high ground with something as sleazy as reading another person's e-mail
     
  22. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump dump
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    btw don't tell her you read her email. That could possibly end with some sort of criminal charges.

    Just tell her you think she's been talking to/hanging out with her ex and you're done. She'll know it's true. If she's all "WHY do you think that?" or anything just ignore it.

    You have objective facts. Don't be swayed by emotion.
     
  24. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    we need an update after you dump her ass!
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :bowrofl:
     

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