New Maddox! :rofl: "The Matix is boring and shitty"

Discussion in 'Entertainment' started by AlkyHauler, Nov 18, 2003.

  1. AlkyHauler

    AlkyHauler Do you feel lucky punk? OT Supporter

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  2. AlkyHauler

    AlkyHauler Do you feel lucky punk? OT Supporter

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    Fuck, missed an "r". :o
     
  3. Doflamingo

    Doflamingo Freedom is not enough.

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    It's dated 11-10-03.

    Edit: Ok, well, regardless, it is still pretty funny. :o
     
  4. vudoodoodoo

    vudoodoodoo Guest

  5. GunShow

    GunShow You had best unfuck yourself

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  6. Evil_Jeanyus

    Evil_Jeanyus That's it Ellen, cup the balls.

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  7. vudoodoodoo

    vudoodoodoo Guest

    Then this dumb bitch sitting next to me kept getting excited and yelling at the screen "close the hatch, close the hatch!!! Don't let it get you!!!" Thanks moron, I'm sure the actors on screen will take note of that, because they're not just beams of light shot through a shitty projector in a shitty theater in shitty Utah.

    :rofl:
     
  8. Hurricurry

    Hurricurry professional alcoholic OT Supporter

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    Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 17:12:28 -0700
    From: Janine L. <######>
    To: [email protected]
    Subject: Lonely Bitter Man

    Hmm, after reading your articles about classifying nerds. I guess you fit
    into one of those categories. Hmm, shall I say the lonely, bitter one
    that sits at home all day and sulks about how much his life sucks?


    Oh, and pretty sad that you go and diss little kids pictures. I guess
    your parents didn't beat you enough when you were a kid cause you sure
    didn't turn out fine.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I decided to do something different with this hate mail, something that would give all the people I've offended some insight into why I'm such a dick sometimes, so I replied with this:

    Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2003 01:58:05 -0600 (MDT)
    From: maddox <[email protected]>
    To: Janine L. <######>
    Subject: Re: Lonely Bitter Man

    I was abused as a child and the way I cope is by expressing myself
    through my writing. Please be more understanding :(


    The response I got was:


    Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 16:50:33 -0700
    From: Janine L. <######>
    To: [email protected]
    Subject: Re: Lonely Bitter Man

    I'm sorry to hear about that maddox. I agree that writing helps express
    anger, but I don't think you should go and take it out on other people, more
    over encourage other people to abuse their kids. Your writing is funny and
    all, but I didn't expect that the issues you write about is personal. Sorry
    to hear about it. Anyways, this is just personal opinion. Take care.


    To which I replied:


    Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 22:36:32 -0600 (MDT)
    From: maddox <[email protected]>
    To: Janine L. <######>
    Subject: Re: Lonely Bitter Man

    Just kidding. Tool.

    BAHAHAHAHHA :rofl:
     
  9. nucl3ar

    nucl3ar Guest

    I liked the movie. :hs:
     
  10. GrassHopper

    GrassHopper Happiest motherf***er you're EVER gonna meet OT Supporter

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    Some charity BS for knocked-up teen
    At least he put a warning on it for the spoilers. :rofl:
     
  11. AlkyHauler

    AlkyHauler Do you feel lucky punk? OT Supporter

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    Read the next one about typing in all caps. :big grin:
     
  12. Pro Street

    Pro Street New Member

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    he's right though. The last two movies seemed forced, like they were TRYING to have subplots. Fights had a reason, whereas the last two movies just had fighs for the sake of fighting. Not to mention nothing different, or showing that they are any better than any martial artist.

    there was just an atmosphere and smoothness to the plot that the sequels don't have.
     
  13. CrosseyeLion

    CrosseyeLion delight in our youth...

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  14. Kevin

    Kevin New Member

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    LMAO

    At the bottom of the page :rofl:
    "Update: I've been getting quite a bit of email from people asking me to post a warning on my review if it includes any spoilers, so here you go: warning, this review contains spoilers. "
     
  15. TankRizzo

    TankRizzo Sensational Moderator Super Moderator

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    I'm waiting until I see it to read that :hs:
     
  16. GunShow

    GunShow You had best unfuck yourself

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    I love his sarcasm it makes me cry :rofl:
     
  17. crotch

    crotch BONE PUPPET LLC.

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    They should have called this movie The Matrix: Stupid Boring Dog Shit Part III

    :rofl:
     
  18. kaxfenix

    kaxfenix Guest

     
  19. GTC

    GTC WDP>*

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    The last 2 would have been much better if they had avoided convoluting the plot to the degree that they convoluted it to. None of that shit even makes sense!
     
  20. PCnPROUD

    PCnPROUD New Member

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    i love his site
     
  21. brackac

    brackac Fuck all of this. OT Supporter

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    Your post is a perfect example as to why the matrix sucked ass.
     
  22. laimbeer

    laimbeer Active Member

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    Can someone post the text? :x:

    Work has apparently blocked access to Maddox :wtc:
     
  23. AlkyHauler

    AlkyHauler Do you feel lucky punk? OT Supporter

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    *sigh*...brb...
     
  24. GTC

    GTC WDP>*

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    Exactly.
     
  25. AlkyHauler

    AlkyHauler Do you feel lucky punk? OT Supporter

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    Hopefully if the title of this review wasn't enough to deter you from seeing this movie, the fact that I just ruined the ending for you is. All you losers who emailed me after I ripped apart the last cinematic train wreck trying to defend the movie with promises of "all the questions" being answered in the final chapter of this trilogy were wrong. Not just wrong like "oops, I'm a philosophy major," I mean wrong like you just invested your retirement in Enron.

    Where to start? First, the good things about this movie:


    If you happen to be George Lucas, you can finally rest assured that you're no longer the only person in history to ruin an almost impossible-to-ruin sequel.
    Trinity dies.
    There was a preview for the new "Lord of the Rings" movie.
    It took me literally 20 minutes to write that last paragraph because everything else about this movie was shitty, except for the special effects, which aren't as impressive as they used to be. There's something about seeing "bullet-time" special effects in Lebanese music videos that doesn't make it cool anymore.

    The dialogue is tacky, not unlike a pregnant woman in a bathing suit (unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case you might find the dialogue strangely erotic). For example, any time a character asked the question "what do you want?" It was always answered with "the same thing you want." The pain you suffer during this movie registers somewhere between being jack-hammered in the face and having scissors jammed into your urethra:





    I just remembered how boring this movie was and it's pissing me off. Then this dumb bitch sitting next to me kept getting excited and yelling at the screen "close the hatch, close the hatch!!! Don't let it get you!!!" Thanks moron, I'm sure the actors on screen will take note of that, because they're not just beams of light shot through a shitty projector in a shitty theater in shitty Utah. They should have called this movie The Matrix: Stupid Boring Dog Shit Part III. I give my word to retract 100% of my statements about this movie if the DVD is subtitled "stupid boring dog shit part III." It'll never happen.

    Update: I've been getting quite a bit of email from people asking me to post a warning on my review if it includes any spoilers, so here you go: warning, this review contains spoilers.

    I've saved 293,409 people $7.50 each with this review.
     

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