New girlfriend is ashamed to show me her body because

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Alexqzilla, Sep 9, 2009.

  1. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    She had an appendectomy... she just told me why she hasn't been ready for sex.. I guess she used to be pretty fat, then after exercise and proper diet she had her surgery, which I guess made things uneven. She said it's worse now than it used to be, but she had to have the surgery because she had an inflamed appendix. I'm not really tripping about it, I figured there was SOMETHING up I didn't know about. I've never considered myself the kind of guy to consider leaving a girl over something like this, but I'm not very excited about one breast being fake and smaller than the other, which has a big scar and I guess extra baggage from being fat... We've been a couple for about a week, didn't know eachother SUPER well before entering the relationship, but really like eachother. I guess I'm just looking for thoughts...
     
  2. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Wait... what?
     
  3. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    What does an appendectomy have to do with having 1 fake breast?
     
  4. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    From the tone of your post it sounds like you're gonna be hung up on things. If you give a shit about her feelings, I'd say get out now.
     
  5. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    Is there a way to not be hung up on things?

    And she JUST told me, she doesn't want to have sex until she's comfortable with me enough to be comfortable with herself around me, but she's always putting herself down and being insecure. She can't take compliments, I don't know what to do halp

    I DONT want to leave her over something she can't help
     
  6. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    word...she have breast cancer too? christ man just leave the poor girl alone.
     
  7. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    Well, it's very possible that if you hang out with her enough and get more in to her personality, you'll stop giving a shit. I don't know you well enough to say though..
     
  8. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    what does appendectomy have to do with boobs?!!
     
  9. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    I guess they were uneven afterwards and she had them evened out, then lost a LOT of weight and they became uneven again
     
  10. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    Oh well, only you know what is better for you and if it is a deal breaker for you or not. Posting it on OT does not change anything...probably some come say eww leave her now, some say give it a try..but you should NOT base your decision on these opinions. Do it if YOU think she is a great girl and is worth a chance and don't do it if it is a big deal to you.
     
  11. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    I said I was just looking for thoughts, how would you respond?
     
  12. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    you mean what would I do if I was in your situation?
     
  13. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    I think she's great! She really likes me, I really like her, we're optimistic about our future and everything. She said it takes months for her to be comfortable with someone enough to have sex with them, and I was already kinda MEH about that but willing to be a gentleman and play by her rules on it, now I understand why and I don't think I can in good conscience break up with her over it, but it IS an issue to me that cannot really be solved without more surgery which she isn't scheduled for for like another two years or something...

    I don't think she's going to get to be comfortable enough to lose her shame and I can't stand it when girls are ashamed of their bodies, ahhhhh
     
  14. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    She deserves a lot better than to be dumped because of something she can't help. I have a scar on my wang from being circumcised at 18 but I never really let it bother me or mention it and it's never been a problem, but I can imagine being judged about it would feel terrible, and I just want to make her happy

    ajsdopfap
     
  15. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    leave her now then. It will completely ruin her self confidence If you leave her after she has sex with you.
     
  16. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

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    Its tough, but it doesn't really matter what she deserves. If I was in your shoes, not feeling it physically and basically waiting for her to "fix" herself I'd leave asap. If she's a cool chick do her a favor. Especially if she's really in to you.
     
  17. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    But I don't want to feel like I'm "doing her a favor" :wtc:
     
  18. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    :bowdown:


    She isn't judging me, I shouldn't judge her either. I'd be a big fat hypocrite for knowing what it feels like to be judged, she likes me for all my flaws so far. I don't want this to be a hangup, I'm kinda struggling with my values here
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    The best thing you can do for both of you is to SLOW DOWN. You've only been a couple for a week and you're already worrying about sex and your future. Take some time to get to know each other first.

    Right now you barely know the girl so if you saw her body and were really turned off by it then you aren't going to have much of a reason to want to stay. If you get to know her first and end up being really into her personality then her flaws won't matter as much. You'll be able to overlook them because your relationship will be based on more than just physical things.
     
  20. ACLdestroyer

    ACLdestroyer OT Supporter

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    WTF thread. Appendectomy.........fake boob.........



    I think the only boob in this thread is the TS.
     
  21. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i mean, if i were in your shoes i would be more worried about the sexual hangup thing than about the actual scar. i think i could live with a scar/some deformation on someone, but the fact that she's all freaked out about it and doesn't want to have sex yet is a red flag for me. i would worry that she was gonna start crying during sex and you'll have to spend hours talking about it and blah blah blah....
     
  22. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I think part of you not being hung up on things is getting HER to not be hung up on it. I would let her know that she needs to stop making those comments to you. Her putting herself down isn't going to help you be any more attracted to her and it's also just contributing to how she feels. Also let her know that you give her compliments because you sincerely mean them and you don't appreciate her not accepting your compliments.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bowrofl: You finally find a great girl that likes you for you and you're ready to drop her because of a wonky boob? :mamoru:

    But seriously, the bigger problem IMO is the fact that she is so insecure about her body and having sex. I'm sure being the sweet, shy kid that you are you listened to her pour her insecurities out and like a newb just said "I'm sorry..." with no idea how to go from here. You will never even get a chance to see the girl naked until you make her feel confident, regardless of scars, stretch marks, etc. That includes easing her fears by telling her (after her sob story) she must be crazy because you think her body looks great, etc. etc.

    At this point I don't know what to tell you. I mean I saw the pictures of this chick; she's adorable as shit. For you to throw her away because you are envisioning something far worse than it really is just seems R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D.
     
  24. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    mmm... something's not adding up. Either the TS has his story confused a bit or there's something else this girl isn't saying as is trying to cover up...

    I don't buy it.
     
  25. ...stimpy

    ...stimpy New Member

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    smuggling plums?
     

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