New girl has never had an orgasm

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by mhrc4, Dec 20, 2007.

  1. mhrc4

    mhrc4 New Member

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    Long story short, I haven't ever had to deal with this, last girlfriend was a champion in bed, but this new girl I am sleeping with, has never had an orgasm. She is kind of a dead fish in bed, like she doesnt know what she is doing. For 23 years old, seems a little odd to me.

    Anyhow, she is starting to take direction well in bed, but it doesnt seem much of anything i do can get her to finish. She can sit there and have sex for a good 70-90 minutes, wet the whole time and sincerely enjoying herself, but she just doesn't know how to finish.

    Part of the problem, i think, is she doesnt know herself. I try and get her to talk about things, what turns her on, so on and so forth, and nothing. feels almost like she feels forced to come up with something to tell me that she likes.

    i dont know if she just wont let her mind go and enjoy it, or what it is, but also, she doesnt seem to have any sensitive spots, no triggers basically.

    any tips and/or tricks for me?

    edit - http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=511565 - interesting read, but looking for people who have gone through this before...
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2007
  2. Sephiroth13

    Sephiroth13 Beginning of the End

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    communication is key here, I would probably keep trying to get something out of her, and not in the physical way. perhaps she had something happen to her in the past, perhaps she is super religious, there are a lot of factors that could be playing into this juncture. or do your best to get her off and not yourself eat her out, finger her watch her face...ask her if she likes it ask her what she wants. let her take control, let her do what she wants or feels comfortable make it a game?
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    id dump her.

    bad sex < no sex
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well some women can't orgasm, simple as that. However, the case could very much be like you mentioned, that she's not totally comfortable with herself sexually and doesn't even know how to get herself off. Have you ever asked her if she's given herself an orgasm? I bet she hasn't, she sounds pretty boring sexually. Talk to her more about it and also give her more guidance int he bedroom. I couldn't stay with a guy who was boring in bed :dunno:
     
  5. mhrc4

    mhrc4 New Member

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    precisely... weve been kinda hanging out and such for a few weeks now, but yeah, if the sex is bad, its a big negative. In all other senses, shes a great girl, thats why i think that she really just doesnt know herself. I have been with a girl that was emotionally detached from me, and thats why the sex stopped...

    i have yet to find out if she has ever given herself one, but thats on my short list of things to find out about her, but my guess is that she hasnt either.
     
  6. fray

    fray New Member

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    As long as she is enjoying herself, don't harp on the orgasming thing. You're likely to just make it worse, as then she'll be worrying about it.

    Work on the making the sex better for the both of you, and if it happens, it happens.
     
  7. mhrc4

    mhrc4 New Member

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    just feels like I am being selfish when she doesnt finish, lol, like I didnt do my half of things, ya know?

    good advice though, i appreciate it.
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    it's selfish if you're getting all the enjoyment and she's getting nothing. it's not selfish if you're doing all you can and she isn't able to get off. If she gets to a point where she wants to really work on it, help her with it, but beyond that, there isn't much you can do.

    trust me, it sucks when a big deal is made about it, or when a guy gets all bent out of shape like he isn't doing something right, because then you feel like you're disappointing him and like you're not doing things right.
     
  9. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    if you like the chick be sure you stress that you enjoy sex with her, or she's going to turn into a basketcase about all the communication.
     
  10. razi

    razi New Member

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    find out how she does it herself, if she does it herself. she might need more clitoral stimulation. if you go down on her, pick up a vibrator and use that (if she doesn't have one). you're going to have to get her comfortable with communication. which might start with you communicating to her what you like (even if it's "oh yeah, like that"). some girls are tougher to figure out than others- the whole mental part, the emotional part, the experience part, etc. etc. go exploring!
     
  11. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    My girlfriend has orgasmed once in 2 and a half years. For her it is all about feeling safe, loved, and comfortable.
     
  12. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    Haha, wow would that suck.
     
  13. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    :ugh: many girls never orgasm...
     
  14. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    Many might never orgasm but they're all capable of it. So it would suck to never have it when it's possible, heh.
     
  15. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    :rolleyes: yes, i'm sure it's that cut and dry...
     
  16. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

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    Actually, yes, every which way. :big grin:. It's great.



    Just keep repeating that to yourself Bush77.
     
  17. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    :rofl: listen to this guy.

    All hail Aronomy, God of the orgasm. :bowrofl:
     

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