never thought i would see the day

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by just tat, Mar 28, 2008.

  1. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    ok, a little back story. a couple years ago i was in the most serious relationship of my life. i was planning to spend the rest of my life with this guy. he made me want things i'd never wanted before, marriage, kids, etc. we were pretty young, both 22. i've always been afraid of commitment, and kind of emotionally unavailable (for lack of a better term). i thought i made it very clear that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him... apparently not. anyway, he left me for someone else. :rolleyes:
    when we were first apart, i tried to still be his friend. anything to still be close to him. his new girlfriend didn't like that so we stopped talking. i convinced myself that he was better off. that she could give him what he wanted, and he would be much happier without me...
    long story short, i was wrong. he was misserable there. (they lived in a different town together) and now he's back. and if that wasn't strange enough, he is back in my life. he showed up at my work, and tried to rekindle things. he said things like... leaving me was the worst mistake he's ever made, he never should have left, he wants to marry me, blah blah blah. :ugh:
    so my initial reaction was cynical, he just wanted security after a bad experience... but now i'm just confused as all hell.
    any ideas?
     
  2. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Did he cheat on you and/or have you slept with him since he was with her? If you can answer yes to one or more, run away.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2008
  3. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    how long were you two together.. how long were you two apart? Is he a bum or has he done something with his life
     
  4. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    even if i can say no to both, it really doesn't sound good to me. the problem is, after spending a month hanging out with him (i know this was a bad idea), i can't see the situation clearly anymore.

    but to answer your question, no he didn't cheat. i am sure, because she was never in this city, and he wasn't in hers while we were together.
    sadly i am weak, and have slept with him.
     
  5. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    That means he cant be trusted if he was with her at the time. I doubt you are his first cheat.
     
  6. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    we were together for about a year. apart for about two. and no he's not a bum.
     
  7. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    you misunderstand. they aren't together anymore. and haven't been since before he came back. the entire time they were a couple, he and i weren't even talking.
     
  8. sapient

    sapient New Member

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    He sounds great for you, he just made a really ridiculous mistake. What's the worst that could happen if you gave him a second chance?
     
  9. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I'm kind of surprised you can honestly say you were ready to marry this guy after dating for only a year. Did you two have a rough breakup or did he just decide he wanted to try other things? If he's been broken up for a while now he's probably not still looking for a security blanket.

    If you guys didn't have a rough break up then I'd say you could give things another shot and see how it goes.
     
  10. just tat

    just tat New Member

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    i was shocked too. which is why i kept telling him i wasn't ready for marriage and a family yet (he tells me this is why he left. he thought i was never going to commit to him long term). i was, emotionally, but not logically ready. my head kept saying it was too soon, and my heart kept saying he was the one.
     
  11. Mugen92GS-R

    Mugen92GS-R New Member

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    I've been in his shoes before. Give him a second chance.
     
  12. The Scientist

    The Scientist New Member

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    who knows. I've been in a similar situation, but my ex's life had changed too drastically for me to even try to consider making anything of it.

    who knows why he left. if you still have feelings for him, and he's there, trying to get back with you, i'd say go for it. you owe it to yourself to make sure you wouldn't be leaving anything behind.
     
  13. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    :hsugh:
     

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