SRS Never thought I would post here again.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BradUF, Oct 31, 2006.

  1. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Everything was going great for years. Now I am doing bad again. School is going bad, girl friend of 2 and half years left me, quit my job for school but failed half the classes. Tired of doing the same thing all the time and want to meet new people, new girls that are up to my standards. I am broke and can't think of a job that will pay me a decent amount to be able to aford my life style.
    I am thinking about moving to another city that has more jobs, an easier school, and more people/girls but I don't know what to do.
     
  2. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    What is your lifestyle like, exactly?
     
  3. wired3758

    wired3758 New Member

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    are you able to take a holiday somewhere?
    less drastic than a move, it'll give you a break from the current surroundings which would remind you of all these problems. a fresh perspective will help a lot, being around different people - even if it's for a week only.
     
  4. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    In this situation, you must compromise. If you are broke, it will be really hard to move to another town and be able to satisfy yourself with the amount of money you will be dumping to a new home, a new city, and with no guarentees. You need to buckle yourself down and figure out a priority list.

    My suggestion: Put down on paper all the things that are important to you in global categories: food, clothing, school, sex, etc.

    Then, list from 1-whatever you have with the most important at 1, and the least important at the highest number. With this list, you have created a priority list. Answer number one to how you want it to be. If it is food, make sure that you are able to buy food and keep it in the apartment/house indefinately. Make sure that you can eat each day and that you won't go starving, or compromise and skip one meal a dya, or don't go out to wendy's for lunch.

    If #1 is school, take care of your studies: talk to your teachers or see a guidance counselor about what you can do with your grades and if there is a way to recover. Most teachers can be helpful. Even if it isn't that A or B... it's better than failing.


    So, to sum it up, figure out what your priorities are and take care of the most important first. You'll find yourself fixing a problem that you may be overreacting to.
     
  5. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Avrg, I have been hanging out with the same people since high school and I almost never meet anyone new, especailly girls.Also alot of my friends don't go to school at all and some plan never to go. They are still great friends but if I dont meet new people I will always be in this type of lifestyle. I want a higher class life style, not as in money but job and people I hang around. I have no idea how to even break into this lifestyle.
    My grades are already fucked, nothing I can do besides take the 2 F's and 2 W's. I hear they will be replaced when I take the class over but it will still show I got those grades that term. Which has already prevented me from going to a good school. Not that I care to much but I did want to go somewhere and now I can't.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    No wonder you feel this way. It honesly sounds like your life hasn't changed since high school. How did you not make new friends in high school? Did you just rely on all your high school buddies for friendship? That doesn't work...eventually they will mve on and away to other things.

    You can work on making friends where you are now, and don't worry about what "class" they are, just worry about finding friends you will get along with.
     
  7. Amaranth

    Amaranth New Member

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    Sometimes, you need a change, and maybe some people can hold you back, especially the kind you're mentioning...if your life is as bad as you say it is, take time for yourself and try something new

    But what exactly do you do? Like are you out partying late? concerts? drugs? How do you and your friends interact?
     
  8. spitfire

    spitfire New Member

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    here!
    If your girlfriend left you,its not the end of the world,If its for you,it wont go by you!you'd be really surprised how fast you can turn ur luck around if you really put your mind to it...
     
  9. .Spect

    .Spect New Member

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    Maybe like some one else said go on a vacation some where far. Just have fun and meet as many people you can. Never know, you just might find a wicked cool group of people..

    Maybe including a girl..
     
  10. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Every night we just go to a bar and on the weekends we waste all night looking for parties and half the time we don't find anything good. None of us have connections anymore. None of my friends even care about expanding there conections. They are just like fuck it, we have beer.

    The best way I can put it is that compared to the normal kid who did good in school, and went directly to a 4 year college. Mine is messed up. I am not living the life all these college students are. Its not that I am not going to the parties or I stay home all the time. Its my life is not very productive and I am going no where. I live in a city were there are 4 girls for every guy and I don't know one, girl. Not even as a friend. Clearly I have failed at many things and I can't think of any way to get out of this hole.
     
  11. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    If you don't like the results that your current actions bring, then change your actions. Try going somewhere else. This doesn't necessarily mean relocating - just do things that will put you in situations where you are forced into meeting new people. Enroll in part-time courses, take a workshop, join a club, pick up a new hobby... opportunities abound. You just have to make the effort to find them.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Go to different places. Get new friends...the ones you have sound like they are what seems to be the trend these days..."let's just drink, that's always fun". It's obvious that your friends don't really care about having that much fun, as long as they have the beer. You're probably not going to get them to change, so you will probably have to start branching out on your own, or to get some different people to go out with.

    IMO, going out to a bar each and every weekend to drink can't be that fun.

    Do some research, find out what's around in your area...

    hell, go to a bowling alley or something some weekend, just do something different besides going along with whatever your friends do.
     
  13. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    Well, from my experience, you won't find an "easier" school. You are using that to help justify your "running away" in an effort to change yourself. There is nothing wrong with that idea, btw, but I don't think it is neccessary.

    I assume you are in community college or 2 yr? Are your parents helping out?

    Couple things, life will get better when you really want it to. You want to change who you are you are at the perfect point in your life to re-invent yourself!

    My advice is for you to submerge yourself in school, With withdrawls and F's you need A's, and if you care A's are easy to get. How? Go to every class, read and study the lesson before lecture, interact in class answer the teachers questions ask questions... and then fucking study. You can do that, work a job, and go out a night or two if you want it.

    It might not seem like it, but you are determining right now how the rest of you life and future lifestyle are going to turn out. I suggest you work harder at it.

    I failed out of college, actually quit going after 5 yrs. Worked full time for 4 and then went back and finished. You can do it, you just need to want it. If you don't want it now, quit before you've ruined it, go work full time, and go back when you are sick of the manual labor bullshit jobs you've been working.
    For some of the time I worked as a Landscaper in Atlanta. The co. I worked for did really nice houses I met a lot of homeowners who were really nice people and wealthy. They treated me differently when they found out I had quit college, but planned to go back, gave we words of encouragement etc. But the best gift they gave me they were unaware off, and that was the motivation to do my best at my job, and then my best in school, so that I could enjoy their lifestyle.

    The lifestyle you see and like is the result of hard work. If you arn't doing the work you won't have the lifestlye to enjoy.

    You will meet new people at school when you start going to fucking class.
    Those people won't always party like you are used to, but they will have more fun, it will surprise you.

    Where are you anyways?
     
  14. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I meet people at school but they are just like the rest of the people I know, or worse. Why is it so hard to meet people who care about stuff and have not already given up on everything :-/

    I live in FL.
     
  15. Amaranth

    Amaranth New Member

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    Hahaha...it cant be that bad...its so hard to meet new people sometimes...maybe try to isolate yourself from your current friends for a little while...see how that goes
     
  16. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I dunno. I need more stuff to do. I go to my one class then I ride my bike for 2 hours. Then I go to a bar or something.
     
  17. Aviv

    Aviv OT Supporter

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    How about stop going to bars? You're associating bars and parties and drunkedness with this rough spot in your life, and all that stuff is doing anyways is making it worse.

    School should be your #1 priority. That's your way out. If you're in a community college and struggling, focus on improving your grades the best you can. There are 4 year state schools out there with low admission requirements and the degree means something. You meet "those people" who have their heads on their shoulders by preparing to be one yourself.
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    ok, no offense but this is kinda what I'm hearing/thinking after reading your post.

    "You're an emo kid, and you only meet other emo kids, then get upset when they don't care about anything?"

    I know you're not emo, but I'm using it as an example. My guess would be that you're ony going after/finding people that are similar to you. Now, normally, this is a fine and normal thing, but considering you're having a really tough time right now, you need to go out after those people who aren't like you are right now.

    Try to meet up with some really outgoing, positive people.

    You're finding the people you seek out, so you really need to try hard to seek out another type.

    You're going to have to do different things, do things out of your comfort zone. Otherwise, nothing will change.
     
  19. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    ^^^ You nailed it. He won't do it. Though it seems different, it's another angle to the same things he's posted here previously, in which he expects his life to change without him changing his actions or himself. He won't; hence his life won't.
     
  20. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I have slowly been chaning things. Today I could have got a job at Target sure thing but it would have been the same thing I did at my last job. God damnit why am I back on the compuer. I need something to do.
     
  21. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    I only asked you about your lifestyle because I was trying to figure out why you couldn't afford it.

    But anyway, I had problems like yours last school year. I had great friends but they were at different points in their lives than I was, so going out with them started to become grating and depressing. And they wanted to go out all the time. I hated a lot of things about my life, I just couldn't put my finger on the source of the problem.

    This semester, I moved to a different place, and took a lot of time out for myself. Just general introspective stuff... working out, more studying, staying sober through the workweek, general things that made me happy. This semester, my grades are skyrocketing and I'm in way better shape compared to the last two years. All because I put a short distance between me and my friends. So that might be something for you to consider-- you don't have to lose your current friends, but try spacing yourself between you and them.
     

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