SRS Never posted before

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by TwoGuns, Oct 18, 2006.

  1. TwoGuns

    TwoGuns Medical Crew

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    But I didn't know anywhere else to vent.

    A girl I used to know and talk to all the time, I recently found out, died.

    I googled her name to see if anything popped up, and instead of finding her myspace, or student page or something like that, her obituary came up.

    She died in a car accident in december of '05 and I didn't even know until now.

    She was fucking gorgeous, and I barely had any time with her. I remember she'd call me to tell me it was snowing cause she knew I missed the snow. I'd hear the train whistling in the background, and she'd tell me how cold her room was cause her winter windows were broken as she was bundled up in bed. Sometimes she'd just asked me to say her name cause she liked hearing me say it.

    I'd think of her every now and then, imagine her living her life and being happy and excelling in what she did. Commenting on stuff she thought was lame and using the same type of sarcastic humor me and her shared. She was one of those people I just got. I didn't need to explain things to her, she always knew when to laugh.

    I don't know exactly why we stopped talking, it just sort of happened. I always had a little piece of her in my heart, but I figured she was happy somewhere and that made it alright.

    But she wasn't. She died in a morning car accident last December.

    I didn't realize how much I missed her until I found out. I didn't actually think about it and realize it until hearing that she passed, but I loved her. She was truly wonderful and it baffles me as to how such a good person could be taken away.

    [​IMG]

    I miss and love you Audrey.......I wish I could have had more time with you.

    God damn I feel shitty........i fucking hate this
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    :hs: that's rough. Makes me want to talk to some of the people I just gradually drifted away from.. but hey shit happens..
     
  3. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    That really sucks man :wtc:
     
  4. JS1

    JS1 sup

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    condolences :(
     
  5. Legend Zero

    Legend Zero OT Supporter

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    I'm sorry man. It's hard when something like this happens, it seems like you had a lot of good memories, embrace them, learn from them, so her spirit is always alive. :hs:

    goodluck, and try to keep your head up.. :love:
     
  6. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Wow that is truly a shame.... Almost brought a tear to my eye with the way you describe her.
     
  7. childofbean

    childofbean Green Member

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    :hug:

    Just makes you realize how important it is to let people know how you really feel about them :hs:
     
  8. TwoGuns

    TwoGuns Medical Crew

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    I just found this message she sent me. The third to last thing she ever sent me.

    esquirrelee (1/10/2005 1:59:49 PM): jamesy!! we never chat no more....are you still alive even? this one time a friend of mine said that this chick he used to chat with up and died one day and he didn't find out until months later. i hope the same ill fate has not befallen me and you. stay real beeotch!! i missyou!!!

    :wtc:
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    My condolences on your loss.

    Is this the first time anyone you have known has died??
     
  10. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It would help if you went and laid a few flowers and a little letter to her, at her accident site, or at where she's been laid to rest.

    Nothing fancy, no big useless floral arrangement....just something heartfelt and personal.

    Now the cynics might ask, whatever the hell for, how's that going to help her?

    Well it doesn't help her. It helps you, it helps you focus your grief into a physical activity which helps you externalise it, and therefore, start to process it....and in time.... let go of it.

    And on some other level, you can think to yourself, that IF she is looking back down on you, she'd want you to be happy, not sad...so it works on that level too.

    She sounds like a real sweetie, and reminds me very powerfully of a girl I knew.

    Try on the memorial thing. It helps.
     
  11. TwoGuns

    TwoGuns Medical Crew

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    Nah, I had an aunt who I was really close to die. She was like my second mom. I've had people in my life die before, but it was always family and I had some sort of warning beforehand for the most part.


    I wrote her old job. She worked at NAU for the American Indigenous Studies office and they set up a memorial scholarship fund in her name. So hopefully they can tell me where she was laid to rest.

    If not, I have an article saying the mile marker she died at.

    http://www.ais.nau.edu/Inmemoriam_Audrey.htm

    And a link to her memorial scholarship application on the left side.

    http://www.ais.nau.edu/AISweb05.htm
     

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