Neighbor relationship, how to play it now?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Zee916, Nov 30, 2009.

  1. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Some may remember my thread about hitting it off with my neighbor, as in lives 5 ft across the door from me.

    Well, everything has gone awesome. We took it slow, which ended up being the right decision. Before Thanksgiving we went out late, just me and her, for a drink after we had both been out.

    Long story short.... she comes on pretty hard. Says she likes me a lot, I tell her the same etc....

    Get back to my place, make-out and more, and she is getting way into it and saying things like "I've waited so long to kiss you." I'm like nice this is great. She goes home at about 4am.

    So the next time we talk, I can tell she is a little off. She says shes sorry she came on so strong. I was kinda surprised and was like, we've known each other for 3 months now how did we come on too strong? Then she says that she is not ready for a dating relationship, which I never mentioned at all, because she broke up with here boyfriend at the beginning of the year and for right now wants to keep doing what we have been.

    I was confused, but at this point, she is still my neighbor and the last thing I'm gonna do is push. We let it happen naturally over time and it worked so..

    I just don't know how I should play this. I know shes into me and I'd like for her to clarify what she is really feeling but I kinda feel like in time things will come together. I really feel like she is definitely hung up on dating as neighbors. Right before we started to get physical that night I'm pretty sure she said something like "I don't know if this is a good idea."

    What does vag think? Never in my life have I had to deal being this close all the time to someone I really like alot.
     
  2. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Just keep playing it the way you are...
     
  3. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Word man, I'm thinking the same thing.
     
  4. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Sounds like she's just scared. Just go with the flow and let things happen how they'll happen. Seems like that's what you've been doing and it has worked out so far. :dunno:
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    What do you want from this "relationship?"
     
  6. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    What's the problem here, homey? Sounds like she's looking for a fuck buddy. Can't think of a better situation with a neighbor.
     
  7. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    I would like to date her eventually. This girl is someone you don't let pass by.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :cjerk:
     
  9. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

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    .
     
  10. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    HAHA, yeah I worded that poorly.

    What I meant to say is you know when some people are worth the time and effort and others are not.
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    try not to see things through the lens of rejection,

    in this case the girl was just scared / embarrassed that she might have come on too strong. sounds like she was under-rewarded for her efforts and is taking a bit of cover.

    you can massage the situation by expressing your own timidity about it.

    "i'm kind of embarrassed to admit how much i liked you coming on to me" - just an example - you can probably think of something better.

    go with the flow, you will hook up again. now there's tension
     
  12. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Will work 100% in this situation, srsly.
     
  13. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Alright I wanted to play this cool but I think we have been open enough I could talk to her about what needs to happen going forward.

    Bad idea?
     
  14. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Yes bad idea. Just continue hanging out with her and being nonchalant about it.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :sad2: That's what I was afraid of...

    Pretty horrible idea actually. She's made it clear she doesn't want a relationship with you right now. If that's what you want and are incapable of just having a FWB situation then you are probably SOL for right now.
     
  16. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Ok, I get this but tell me why? The last thing I want is for her to not know how I really feel and I didn't get to tell her last time because she caught me pretty off guard and my answer would not have been good.

    I don't want this to fizzle out just being nonchalant now.

    I forgot to mention this, but she told me she was "attacked" at about 17. She didn't say too much about what happened but I pretty much got the feeling someone tried to forcibly take advantage of her. She said she has a tendency to pull away even if she like someone until she is comfortable so thats on my mind too for why shes acting like this.
     
  17. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Ok, but I don't even know if she wants to be FWB.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Maybe not. I mean logically that makes no sense since she finally fucked you....but based on her attitude the next day she's obviously an emotional thinker.

    My bet is she likes you but is either still talking to her ex and hung-up on him, or interested in another guy as well who isn't panning out. Personally, I think you trying to put a label on it will only push her further away.
     
  19. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    She told you she was attacked for attention. If she was really attacked and had social and mental problems because of it, she wouldn't be hanging out at your place until 4 am.
     
  20. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Good Call I can see that.
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    The last thing you want is for her to know how you feel. That shit only works in the movies, not in real life relationships.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: Especially when the chick has pretty much told you she's confused about what she wants with you.
     
  23. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Ex is across the country and out of the picture, we had that talk. Other guys, can't say.

    I don't want to put a label on anything, thats not what I was gonna tell her. We do not need to be boyfriend/girlfriend just because of one night. I want her to be clear on how I should continue to treat her and that we should enjoy this and take it slow until we're both comfortable if that's what needs to happen.
     
  24. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Just keep inviting her over to your place, or to go hang out somewhere (mall, coffee shop, etc). Keep having fun with her and keep the conversation fun. Do not talk about feelings or other mushy stuff until she does first.
     
  25. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    Aight I'll trust ya. Gonna be hard, I'm really into this girl.
     

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