need to tell someone..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by a0000000, Aug 17, 2006.

  1. a0000000

    a0000000 New Member

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    Ok, I'm not really new here at OT, I just don't want to post under my real name because:
    1. Most of OT would recognize me.
    2. My GF reads OT sometimes.

    oh and this is going to be really, really long and im not making cliffs.. i just need to get all of this off my chest..


    Anyway, i did some things in this past week and its eating me up inside cause I cant tell anyone..

    my gf has been out of town for the past 2 weeks on a vacation with her family. in this time i have hung out with my ex-gf 3 times.

    here's a short backstory.. me and my gf have been dating for 2 years, i have known my ex for almost 7 years and we "dated" on and off but nothing serious since we were both young and couldn't drive.. well then before I started dating my current gf, my ex and i dated for 7 months, somewhat seriously, but mostly just opportunity.. then we broke up and remained friends but since dating my current gf, we kinda lost contact, only talking every few weeks or so until she called me out of the blue and I agreed to go and hang out with her..
    I also told her I was now single. well, i get there and we went out and we're having a great time and then we end up making out.. it was weird cause it felt like we never were apart and we just picked up where we left off..

    then we hang out again and do a little more messing around and finally on the 3rd night we have sex.

    I can't say that I felt "bad" about cheating on my GF, but it felt weird being with another girl but at the same time, it felt so great.. she made me feel something I haven't felt in a long time, but I can't explain what. it felt new, it felt like a first date, and the way she rested her head on my shoulder, felt so nice and when she grabbed my face and kissed me, I actually felt something which is something i miss with my current gf.

    now i love my gf, believe it or not.. sometimes i do wish i could breakup with her and find someone else, but i cant provide a reason to do it, other than i'm seeking a new relationship for "the thrill of the chase" in a way..
    and there has been times when we have gotten into pretty big arguments and all it would take is a few words from me and she would probably leave me, yet i talk my way out of it and do everything in my power to calm her down and make her happy again, because i really dont like to see her unhappy. or maybe i love her, but not in the way i should? i honestly dont know.

    i sometimes wish she would cheat on me so i would break up with her and there would be a great reason, or better yet, that she would dump me and not feel sad about it.. because seemingly, if i dumped her right now, she would lose it because I'm her world, I'm all she has. and thats a lot of pressure. but i dont think that's whats keeping me here..

    it's just gotten un-exciting, when we kiss, yeah it's nice but it's not like a 1st kiss anymore, and most of the time i dont even feel like having sex, even though she is a VERY pretty girl and she turns ALOT of heads, so i am a lucky guy to have a girl like her and i know alot of guys who would love to have a chance with her..................

    i dont even really know where I'm going with this, i just wanted to get it off my chest and hope someone will read it all and make an intelligent comment back, because im not a bad person and yes i realize what i did was all kinds of fucked up and i would be highly pissed if she did it to me, etc, etc, etc. so please dont preach to the choir. i also know some will say "just call her and break up with her now" but it's not that easy, when I'm not really sure that is what I even want..

    right now, I have the chance to go out with a girl (not my ex) who I've wanted to date for years, so there's a great opportunity for that new spark in a relationship, yet when I think of it, i can't help but think of how sad my gf would be and how i would miss all the little funny things she does and the how sweet and loving she can be sometimes..

    fuck i just dont know what to do..
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    honestly it sounds like you're at least partly ready for a new relationship. Since you've already taken steps on that path, you should tell your current gf, and end the relationship.
     
  3. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    stop being indecisive, man up, and break up with your girlfriend. telling her you cheated on her is your choice. break up with her, because right now you're just using her for companionship, and it's hurting you and her.
     
  4. StealingBread

    StealingBread New Member

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    Current GF deserves to know whats happend, and if she doesn't break up with you for it immediatly, break it off with her. She deserves someone who will love her back, who will not cheat on her. You need to find someone you are happy with and not just settling. Once the magic fades and you decide not to hold on with your whole self, then don't...

    :/
     
  5. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    agreed! very well put. if it's not there, it's just not, there's notihng you can do about it. think about this very hard before you lose what sounds like an amazing girl. if it's not there for you, spare her to torture you're putting her through when things get worse later on
     
  6. Injected1

    Injected1 New Member

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    You sound like you have the same personality as me.. I know pretty much how you feel. I have always been social, outgoing, and the life of the party. Meeting new people and experiencing new things are what makes me tick. The absolute best part of girls is the chase, getting her into me, and then once I have her and have at some point slept with her, all that enthusiasm and "feeling" starts to diminish. It's almost like a drug addiction trying to get that exilerating "feeling" back. My personality is not really geared to be towards being with one girl and having a meaningful relationship like some guys seem to need.

    However, a little over 5 years ago I met a girl that was very attractive, but she had something a little more than that. I realized that this girl was different from all the other hottie superficial girls that I craved and hunted. I've been with her every since. I have not ONCE cheated on her nor do I intend to.. Are those feelings still there to try to conquer every hott ass chick I see? You're fuckin right they are, but I know that once I got them, I wouldn't be happy anymore and would have lost this very special girl that I have now.

    So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, since you have already jumped off the cliff, the girl you have now must not be the one. You're probably not ready to give up the hunt, and she doesn't have an alternative attribute to curb your need to find new. Might as well break it off now and move on. If you don't, you're gonna feel trapped, possibly guilty, and not happy. None of that is fair to you OR her.
     
  7. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    I agree with Injected. It's not just guys that experience this...many girls do too. The new wears off and you find yourself wanting to experience the excitement all over again...so you end up cheating and/or leaving the relationship. Realistically, in almost every relationship the passion fades over time...this tends to happen in most relationships where you may not have much in common and/or you're with each other mainly for superficial reasons. You just haven't found "the one"....you mentioned that your current girlfriend is attractive but you have yet said anything else worthy about her. That's why I always say looks/sex can attract you to a person but in the long run, it won't sustain a relationship. You will need more than that to want to stay with someone.

    let me also add that when you're in a rocky relationship, sometimes anything/anybody seems better even if it's really not.
     
  8. SovietRussia

    SovietRussia What? You pooped in the refrigerator? OT Supporter

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    your current girlfriend sounds 'fine' for you. but you dont want fine, you want amazing. ditch her and find it.
     
  9. matrixan

    matrixan New Member

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    in soviet russia....

    DA comrade! DA!
     
  10. a0000000

    a0000000 New Member

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    thanks for all of the comments and I definetly agree with them, especially well put by injected..

    but it's so hard, god it's so hard to leave her. she has such an addictive personality. ironically, tonight we did speak of change and being apart for a while and i couldnt stop crying. i walk into the house and see something she gave me or a picture and could barely stand. its so hard but i really feel that it is whats best for me or us but i cant bare the thought right now. honestly, if she told me she had someone else that is making her happy, I think i'd be happy for her. i do love her, and i do care for her more than words can say but im just not positive im 100% in love with her as i should be.

    i know i am going to miss her, i feel like total shit right now, like im at rock bottom, how can it get any worse than this? i cant say that i feel guilty about what i did, because i really dont but i dont love my ex gf in the same way as i love my current gf.

    ok, here is what is going on. she is going to college 700 miles away. i am not going with her and she said that she cant be with me while shes there so we should break up and when she's done with college, perhaps try again if we're both in the position to do so. but the thing is, she tells me she loves me so much and doesnt want to break up until she leaves for college in 2 weeks.

    how can i do this? how can you put an end date on a relationship? i just dont know what to do, im so confused right now. i just want her to be content and happy with who she is and i cant bear the thought of her being sad or depressed. i just cant, because thats how much i love her. maybe it's like a sister or best friend instead of a gf.

    fuck im just totally rambling and going from subject to subject but oh well, it helps me to get it out..
     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Tell her what you did. Then see what she says and how she feels.
     
  12. a0000000

    a0000000 New Member

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    well last night i felt a tad bit releaved for a minute and then i felt like shit.. i woke up this morning and couldnt stop thinking about her and how its gonna be such hell. i went to work but couldn't go in, everything reminded me of her so i took off and went driving all day long, for 8 fucking hours. i havent looked at my phone, i know she has called because technically we're not broken up, yet, until she leaves but i cant think about this deadline right now..

    but currently i'm a little more at ease, but who knows if that will change or not. i just dont know if im doing the right thing by letting her go or if i should try to save the relationship.. i mean, you could take the happiest couple ever and make them break up and sooner or later, they would get over each other.. so what i'm saying is, i know i could get over her sooner or later but fuck i dont know if that's what's right for me.. maybe she is the one, maybe not.. how in the fuck do i find out??
     
  13. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    by cheating on her, obviously.
     
  14. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    Dude, you need to fucking wake up and realize that IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU. (No wonder you cheated... cheating is the ultimate selfish act.)

    The decent and right thing to do is to break it off and stop making a fool out of her. Let her get over you and find someone who is worthy of her, who respects her enough to be loyal and honest.

    After you have done that, you need to take some time off to examine yourself, stop lying and making excuses and figure out who you are and what you want in life. Then you can either try and find another good woman and treat her right this time, or find a fuck buddy, or be alone, or whatever it is you want to do.

    You couldn't respect her when you decided to sleep with your ex, so now at least respect her enough to stop wasting her time. It's over, it's your fault, now move on and learn from your mistakes.
     
  15. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    cheat on her 5 more times. you will know or not by then. no more, no less than FIVE times though. five. remember this sacred number.
     
  16. drew

    drew New Member

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    "cheating on her is mean...telling her about it, well thats just cruel"

    personally i'd wanna know but im a guy
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    If you loved her then you wouldn't have cheated on her and you'd definately be feeling guilty about it. Break up with her so she can find a guy worth being with. You are just being selfish by trying to hold onto her.
     

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