SRS Need some relationship help...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Devious, May 1, 2006.

  1. Devious

    Devious OT Supporter

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    It's long so bare with me, crappy cliffs at the bottom.


    I've been going with this girl for well over two years now. A quick synopsis: She was my 3rd girlfriend, and 2nd girl i had sex with. I was her first, but she had a few other boyfriend before me. I am 21, she is 23 and just finished graduating from University. I still have two more years left.

    I was never the type of guy to take advantage of girls, and I was never interested in being the type to have one night stands and sleep around with many girls, so i've never done that. I waited until I found a girl I thought I really digged to lost the V card, unfortunatly that relationship didn't last too long after. My current girlfriend seemed like she was everything I ever wanted, smart, beautiful, mature, a golfer, etc. She was a dream for me, and surprisingly I was able to get start a relationship with her.

    The relationship took a turn for the worse last summer when i took a trip with the guys to vegas. Not that anything happened out there, she just didn't want me to go and I still did. Just lately my feelings for her have been changing, I just dont' feel as attracted to her as I used to, my sex drive has decreased, and I find myself wanted to see other girls. I feel like I want to go out and have those one night stands, go out and get hammered and go home with whoever. I've been in this relationship for over 2 years, and I just seem bored with it now. B

    I think this is partly because she has been very negative lately, or depressed i guess. She had tough times with school, she has been fighting with her family and can't wait to move out, and her part time job she has now she hates. I've been listening to her everyday for the past 2 years complain about how she hates her work, i guess im finally sick of it.

    I know these things are all temporary because they should be over with soon, once she gets a career job she can move out, and quit her part time job. It just feels like i can't wait anymore. I'm confused, she doesn't want to take a break from the relationship, she thinks its either you want to be with me or you dont'. So i have to make a decision, and right now I'm leaning more towards ending it, but we had such a good thing when we first started dating, I love her and care about her so much... i just dont' know what to do.

    help OT :hs:

    Cliffs: First long time girl, she lost V card to me. Goign out for over 2 years... i've become bored, and feel like I want to go out and just party and sleep with whoever (I never did this before her, but i feel like i want to know what its like). But i still love her and care for her alot. she doens't want to take a break .. its either on or completely done with.
     
  2. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    Stick it out just a bit longer. The real test will come when job offers have the potential to put some physical distance between you. She's much more likely to be receptive to taking a break when all this comes into the picture.
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    You should bring this up with her. At this point the relationship has stagnated a bit, but it doesn't sound like fixing it is out of reach yet. Sometimes people don't realize that what they're doing has such a negative effect on their relationship (ie. her venting) - maybe she thinks you're great because she's the only person she can talk to about these kinds of things. If you don't communicate your feelings to her, you're doing a disservice to both her and the relationship you share.
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    If you feel that you don't want to be here any more, don't feel bad about it. It's your right. If you want to leave, you can.
     
  5. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I absolutely agree. Just make sure you leave before you go out and screw around with other women.
     
  6. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    I don't know what to say to this, only because if you loved/cared, I don't think you'd have thoughts of "I want to sleep around instead of being with this girl", but that's just me.
     
  7. Devious

    Devious OT Supporter

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    I think I mostly feel like I have been missing out on a large part of being young. I still have two years of University... a time that is supposed to be full of partying, enjoying youth, getting drunk, and currently I am not doing these things. It seems like I am in this relationship that has already reached a peak, and will plateau from here on in. I know that I love her and care for her, but I have these feelings/thoughts of still having fun and not having to worry about being in a relationship. I also know that if I don't control or settle this feeling now, it's just going to become a bigger and bigger issue in the future.

    And for an update, I ended it last night. I said I needed time to take a step back and look at the big picture, and see if this is really where I want to be. She took it really hard, and I sort of regret it already today, but I am going to stick with it.
     
  8. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    If that's your choice, make sure you stick with it. You seem like a rational enough thinker (rare for OT), so from one guy to another, try to take it easy on the girl's emotions :hsd:
     

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