SRS Need some help. Whats wrong with me?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Lantis745, May 11, 2007.

  1. Lantis745

    Lantis745 Member

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    Ok any advice, comments, suggestions, are welcome and thankyou in advance for them. And i want to say im not on any high horse or anything, im saying everything how it is.

    Im a very outgoing person, and very good with words. I can talk to any girl and get their intrest from them no matter what. Yes, im really that confident in my social skills. But the intrest is never anything more than "wow this is a really cool guy and we should hang out sometime or he could be a really good friend". I cant seem to grasp anything that falls into romantic connection with any girl. Whats wrong with me? Im average looks with a great personality. I could get numbers from anyone but never a date. Im not the "nice guy"all the time either. i can be really cocky and funny but i guess im just not bf material :hsughno: Ive been told before that "i wont date you because i think your too great of a guy and i dont want to hurt you". Anyone that meets me in REAl LIFE would always say i attract people to them and i can talk to anyone because i just have a way with words. I used to date alot and go out but lately i guess im just slipping? Maybe im just meeting the wrong people.. Im only 19 but it seems like i cant find anyone anymore that would have a gf/bf connection.

    So what am i doing wrong?
     
  2. sassy2424

    sassy2424 New Member

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    I'd say you're friendzoned :dunno:
     
  3. Lantis745

    Lantis745 Member

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    thats just a example of one person, this isnt about anyone in paticular but just in general
     
  4. Sexbomb

    Sexbomb New Member

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    same boat but i would say i have less then(than?) average looks and i am really clumsy.

    the friendzone is better then nothing for me though.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Id say you'd lack romance maturity. You know my cousin has a great way of words, and he is superfunny yet gets no dates.

    I think everyone in their minds has a 'picture' of how they would like their partner too look like, i think you need to confirm to that picture, you know for woman its all about 'being together' ,and spending quality time in that period of being there for eachother.

    So you know you have a way with words, stepping towards woman just like that, is great, but its only step 1.

    You need to be on the same frequency and that's the second step, its not just about you, what are their interests. You know you need to know what they want before you can change yourself to that what they want.

    In the end, rejection means that there's possibly something wrong with you(in terms of what they dislike)
    and acceptance means your doing the right things.

    So ok, girls wouldn't directly say something hurtfull, in order to avoid a confrontation. So try to tune into the girl with your words, just for the try, try to make it more romantic this time.
     
  6. autobahn

    autobahn New Member

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    There's two possibilities:

    #1: You are trying to date the wrong people. Either the type of people you hang out with/meet are the wrong type for you, or vice versa. You need to look elsewhere.

    #2: You're TOO good at meeting women. In fact, you're so good that you're like a woman to other Women. You're meeting them and making an instant connection - like a friend. You need to be "closely distant" - if that makes any sense. You need to give them a sense of mystery, don't open up too quickly.
     
  7. FurryFriend

    FurryFriend New Member

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    I would say this is his biggest problem.

    You can be good with words and be a brillant conversationalist. Problem is, people like yourself always reveal too much information to a girl right away (which is why you have so much to say). You are not mysterious to the girl and it doesn't challenge her to know you better. Furthermore, when you speak too much, you tend to overstay your welcome. You should always be the first to end a conversation and walk away.

    If a girl asks how your weekend was, you probably would describe it in wonderful eloquence and think you're impressing her with your wit. As counterintuitive as this sounds, you would pique her interest more by flashing a sly smile and say "sorry, I can't tell you" and then take off.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2007
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Well, you are 19. Are you hitting on other 19 year olds? I ask this because younger girls sometimes don't like to get tied down.

    My other thought is that you are this really fun and charismatic...but just coming across as a friend. There's a reason that the fun guy is usually a friend to everyone, but sometimes they don't know when to stop kidding and don't really come across as serious or relationship material.
     
  9. Lantis745

    Lantis745 Member

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    a.Id say i lack some romance maturity now that you mention it.

    b. I think ill try to get on a more romantic level more often now, ill give it a try.

    1. I talk to alot of different types of people i dont think thats my problem.

    2. I thought about this and i think your right. I hope im not exactly like a woman to other woman though ^_^. Being "closely distant" is something i might have to work on. I will try to be more "mysterious" and not open up so much.

    a. 18-22
    B. Alot of other people adressed this in a different way but i usually know when to stop kidding or not push it too much.

    Ill try a little different style from now on and ill let you guys/girls know how i did. Thanks again :hsd:
     

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