SRS Need some guidance

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 06PWXB, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. 06PWXB

    06PWXB New Member

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    So a girl I hung out with a lot at work is friends with this other chick at work who is married with a 7month old daughter. I started hanging out with her only b/c she hung out with my good friend. Well we went to lunch together a lot at work and starting talking quite a bit. I never intended on anything more simply b/c she's married with a child but things just keep clicking. She told me how she only got married b/c her friends were getting married and she had been with her now husband for 4 years and it just seemed like the right thing to do. (you'd really have to know this girl to understand. she didn't marry him b/c marriage was the cool thing to do but she thought since they had been together so long that it was right) Well apparently she hasn't been happy with him for a few years now. They had a child and she practically had to beg him to have sex with her to have the child. He likes to drink and he takes after his alcoholic father pretty well. She tells me he works a lot but the days he does get off, he doesn't want to spend that time with her or the baby. He'd rather be with his friends. Well I seem to be the one that she always complains to about him. But now we've been talking a lot more and she keeps telling me how she can't stop thinking about me and that she's never been that way with a guy. Though she will not hang out with me outside of work b/c that's not right. Which is 100% understandable. I have no problem with that. But it seems like we have so much in common that it's scary. I'm not really sure what to do here. I mean she's talking about leaving her husband but I'm not sure if I should pursue if she does or not. I know what we are doing is probably wrong since we talk a lot outside of work. But we've never done anything more. Any advice here OT? Sorry for the long winded and really jumbled thread.
     
  2. 06PWXB

    06PWXB New Member

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    I'm not at all trying to butt in while she's still married. I'm trying my hardest to stay away from that. But if she's unhappy, I can't control that. I can't tell her to stay with him just to make life less complicated for her child. I know she has to think of her child but she has to be happy as well. I know she wouldn't jeopardize the safety of her daughter with a guy she can't trust. Yeah it's more work having to go visit her dad every other weekend but at least her daughter grows up seeing her mom in a loving relationship and not one where she has to watch her mom and dad fight day in and day out. I do see what you're saying though. I guess I gave the impression that I was butting in now and I'm really not trying to do that.

    I mean this of no disrespect Viper. But this happened to you so of course you'd tell me to bail. But if a woman is really that unhappy that she's willing to leave her husband with whom she has a child, that means there's really something wrong. I'm not at all saying what she's doing is right. What I'm doing isn't right either. But what I'm saying is that you were on the victim end of this already so you know how it feels. She's already told this guy that she wants to leave and he still hasn't tried to change to keep her. He just keeps going how he normally does so apparently he's not too worried about it. Now I suppose you were willing to sit down with your wife and work through it. She's tried this on a few occasions and has even scheduled time with a marriage counselor to work things out. It was like pulling teeth to get him to go to a counselor and he wouldn't sit down with her at home about it.

    I do realize that there are plenty of unattached single women. Trust me I realize this. But I have to be honest when I say this that this girl is like no other girl I've ever met. Most guys wouldn't think she's the prettiest but I think she's gorgeous. Her husband really has no idea what he has and how lucky he is to have it. Her personality is very magnetic and hard to ignore.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2007
  3. Rich

    Rich New Member

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    Divorce = She's free game.
     
  4. 06PWXB

    06PWXB New Member

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    I understand what you're saying. I'm also not saying I'm innocent in the situation either. I never said that.
    One thing I don't do with her is that I don't comment on her husband. I don't tell her how I feel about him. I let her complain to me about him and that's that. It's not right for me to sit and bad mouth him b/c I don't know the guy. She does have a marriage counselor who is helping her out as well as her parents. They are all talking to her so I'm not the only influence on the situation. Her parents really don't like him or his family b/c they see how they all are. Her counselor has even said that she feels it's always best to work on a marriage but sometimes you have to realize that you just aren't meant for each other. Basically implying she feels as if they probably aren't good for one another.

    Again I know I'm not at all innocent in this situation. I have really thought about bowing out and completely disconnecting myself from the situation. It's just really hard for me to do. I do realize though that that's probably the best thing to do.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She really sounds like a smart woman....
    *Marries a guy because "it seemed like the thing to do"
    *Begging him to have sex with her so she could have their baby in hopes it will save the marriage....

    Yeah, real winner :rolleyes: Stay away from this one until she sorts ALL her shit out! Oh yeah, Viper is 100% right by the way. Listen to him.
     
  6. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Viper is spot on.

    You can pursue, but that makes you pretty low. IF she divorces him, THEN you have free reign to do whatever. Pursue at will.

    But as long as she's married, it's wrong, and you know it.
     
  7. 06PWXB

    06PWXB New Member

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    I'm not sure I said anything about her wanting to have a baby to save the marriage did I? She wanted a child so the person to do that with would be her husband correct? lol It's not like she met the guy, he was great so she wanted to get married. They had been together for quite a few years. I guess that'd lead a person to believe that they are with the right person.
     

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