Need some advice..... v.going crazy

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Buttons, Aug 17, 2006.

  1. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    I met a girl, we'll call her K, about a year ago. Talked on and off for the last year, didn't seem to be any interest from her. About 1.5m ago one of her friends mentioned how K thought I was attractive and was considering asking me on a date. I explained how I'd like a chance for a few dates with her to see how things went. We spent the next 3 weeks together almost every day. Conversation was great, never a dull moment, our personalities match perfectly. I've never spent more than 3 days with a girl and not gotten bored of her so this was great for me. She constantly sent me text messages saying how she was having withdrawls from not seeing me and she missed me, etc. Jump to this Monday, she comes online and her screenname(MSN) seemed very strange so I asked her about it. She tells me that she didn't want to get into it at that time and to not worry about it. Few hours later she tells me how she thinks things went too fast and that she wasn't ready for the title of "bf/gf" right then adn that she thinks we should back things up a bit. I agreed and told her I'd give her all the space and time she needs. Her friends tell me that she's always upset now and doesn't seem happy. I've made only one attempt to talk to her since monday night. Not talking to/seeing her is driving me crazy. What should I do in this situation? Do I just keep giving her the space she needs? Do I at least attempt to make some small talk? I'm so confused about this right now.:hsd:
     
  2. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I would give her the space... but don't tell her "I'll wait forever." Go out, have some fun with friends, and be busy when she calls. If you can pick up at a noisy bar some time so she knows what she is missing, that can work in your favor. Just don't be explicit about being with other women.

    And tell her you don't care about titles (bf/gf) because that is so high school. Tell her "Hey, we're not married, do whatever you want" or something like that to deflect from the titles. Lighten up, make a joke about it, then change the topic.

    Might I also suggest do NOT start having long discussions about your relationship. Just have fun with her! Avoid serious topics, depressing crap, titles, and all that stuff. Be the fun, cool, awesome guy she likes to hang/party with and she'll come back soon enough. ;)
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    And you wonder why she is thinking you moved too fast? She's feeling smothered, and just needs some space and time apart from you.

    Sheesh, even I know that you don't spend every single day together...
     
  4. Injected1

    Injected1 New Member

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    Too much contact.. I would've freaked too..LOL Back off, keep in touch, and don't put the rest of your life on hold.
     
  5. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    I'm sure during those 3 weeks she wanted you to say "sorry, I have other things going on tonight" but you actively demonstrated that you have no life outside of her. Bad for attraction.

    Anyway, like was said above, if you are going to talk to her make sure to tell her (rich descriptions) about all the awesome times you've been having with your friends and meeting all kinds of new people (subcommunicates that she is missing out on you and that you have been meeting other girls).

    Don't lie... actually go have an awesome time and meet new people.
     
  6. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    During those 3 weeks we weren't always alone together. It was out with my friends and her friends. :dunno: I told her a few times that I was going to go out with the guys and she'd show up wherever we were.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    you guys spent way too much time together in the beginning, that is for sure
     
  8. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    That's creepy. Why do you want to be with this girl again?
     
  9. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    :rofl: Some may find it creepy. The places we were at were places she also frequented so I don't find it creepy that she showed up there.
     
  10. matrixan

    matrixan New Member

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    dont go along with girls, when she says something like that... should have told her that "you wanted to talk to her about exact same thing, and you cant believe she brought it up first!" if she was freaking out about it being too fast that comment should have brought her right back...
     
  11. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    Ok, well we didn't talk for a few days. She went to a city about 1.5hrs away for the weekend with friends. Saturday afternoon she called me and told me she wanted me to go there to party with her and friends. I went up, I tried to say no but I couldn't resist. We had a nice long talk about "us" and what's happening... so right now we're just dating and enjoying spending time together. She was afraid of me being a rebound relationship. Girls confuse me!
     
  12. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    I'm not one to call it creepy, but it may be a sign that she feels extremely attached. She may be afraid of how attached she is to you, and how badly she might be hurt if you leave her.

    Is there a chance she's heard about your previous experiences with getting bored with women?


    :edit: Should have read the rest of the thread, I suppose.
     

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