SRS Need "relationship" advice.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by crazynova, May 18, 2009.

  1. crazynova

    crazynova OT Supporter

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    I am 20 years old, and have been friend with this girl for 8 years now. We are very good friends, and have a lot of fun when we hang out with each other. Well, over the years, I can say that I fell in love with her about 6 years ago. I was kind of jealous as she dated a few other guys throughout the years we have been friends.

    Well, about 2 years ago, I thought I was over her because I knew nothing would happen and we were drifting apart a bit. Unfortunately, we now hang out once every couple of months, and everytime I see her, I go back to the way I was, madly in love with her. She is single now, but I don't know how to do anything about it. She knows how I felt a few years ago.

    The biggest issue is we have one MAJOR difference that is a big one to ever overcome. She is very religious (goes to a Christian college and majors in Bible study.), and I am borderline atheist. Despite that, I would still love to pursue a relationship. I have not had any meaningful relationships in my life, because I am so hung up on her.

    What should I do? I can see myself marrying this girl... How do I try to pursue it, or get over it? :hsd:
     
  2. CaminoReal

    CaminoReal Custom User Title

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    She knows how? You told her? Was she in a relationship when she found this out? How did she react?

    If I you've ever had a girlfriend before I trust you know at least vaguely how to get one... so I'm not sure how you "don't know how to do anything about it". She's single now, so this is your chance to do something about it. Increase the frequency with which you spend time with her (see: date) and see her affect. If she responds positively, there you go. If she responds negatively, then cut ties and move on.

    That last part is something I (and probably a lot of other guys) would do. Of course you can continue hanging out with her, but you already know you're going to "fall in love with her" and nothing is going to come of it... so my mindset is why bother. Might as well focus your attention on someone who is a) wanting to have a relationship with you and b) someone who you can see having a long-term relationship with.

    Is this a point of conflict already, or are you just speculating that it will or could be? I totally agree with you that it can be an issue that prevents/breaks apart relationships, but I feel that if you have the right attitude about it things can be great. I have a few very religious friends... one being my best friend. If both of you realize that you can enjoy each others company while maintaining differing viewpoints, then there is no problem.

    What should you do? I think you should decide what you want and go for it, and if it doesn't work out then change plans accordingly, based on the information you have at the time... just like we all do.
     
  3. Sgt. Friday

    Sgt. Friday Guest

    Seems to me that you've already tried to explain your feeling to her and nothign came of it.

    My advice to you, give it one last try and if nothing happens then you have to cut all ties 100%.

    I had the same situation a many years ago, and I almost got there but I think I rushed the physical part too fast.
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Friend zoned years ago...sorry man if she knew then and didn't pursue anything she's not going to change her mind now I would just move on and get over this girl. The religion thing will be a huge issue too.
     
  5. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    need more info.

    how did you let her know that you had feelings for her years ago?

    are you assuming religion will be an issue or do you know this for a fact?
     

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