SRS Need other perspectives about situation.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Kcomps, Apr 28, 2009.

  1. Kcomps

    Kcomps New Member

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    I just recently moved to San Francisco in December of 08' to start a job for my friend who was opening a club/lounge/event center/restaurant. I have been friends with this man for about three years. He is in his mid life crisis or has been for a while not really sure very hard to figure out. He is a gay man that likes younger guy's which I find not disturbing or even gross because as a just turned 22 year old male, I am into older guys for many reasons. This man has made passes at me from time to time and noticed when he gets drunk he gets upset that I don't feel the same way about him as he does for me. I have made it clear that I wanted to just be friends from the start and he even agreed when I brought up my concern about how I like being friends and don't want anything more or less.

    After working for this man for about a couple months at his club and restaurant he promoted me to be his personal assistant. I have been wanting that job for a while because of the benefits of learning the buisness world and go to school, and be able to have on my resume that I was a personal assistant to a CEO of a major company and able to handle a full school work load. After only working for this man for about two weeks I got pulled over for a DUI (still pending). The company van was taken to a tow yard and I spent the night in jail. When I was released I let this man know what happened and I was let go shortly after. As being respectful and taking responsibility to my major fuck up, I payed for the car to get out of towing and left.

    I did not hear anything from this man for about a couple weeks aftering being fired. It hurt because this man I looked up to like a father figure, looked out for him and his best interest. I dont feel betrayed because he had every right to fire me. I knew this man would not contact me unless it was beneficial to him, when he is lonely, or when a boy breaks his heart or he gets bored with one. This has happened multiple times and I keep dealing with it until now.

    The other night this man was drunk out of his mind and sends me a text telling me he loves me and what not. I just reply that I think its fucked up how he only contacts me when he is lonely. He said I was in the wrong and after I let him say what he needed to say, I told him that I do not want to be friends with him anymore because his true colors have shown yet again, and I am old enough not to get sucked into his bullshit. I have not spoken to him since.

    I have a new job at my lawyers office. I work as a office assistant, but here is my proble. This man is also gay, good looking and older. I am not attracted to him in anyway but this man has made it clear he is into me. The other night he wrote me a text asking me why I am not interested in him and he is a fool to think I would be. I have no idea why this keeps happening to me. I haven't done anything to either men to make them feel like I was leading them on or intereted. I am not sure what to do. I love my job and am a sercure person where I can work around the b/s. I just dont know if my boss is the same way. I am worried that he might get upset enough to fire me. I have been looking for another job while still working here because i would rather be "safe" than "sorry".

    I have done my best to make it clear to my boss that I want to work here and I enjoy it, but I am not sure if that is just puting him in a bad situation having me around. I am not sure what to do. Any and all advice will be helpful. Thanks.:ugh:
     
  2. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    Stop working for older gay men? Seems like a pretty easy problem to solve.
     
  3. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    /thread
     
  4. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Are you a twink or something?

    Find a job where a woman is in charge I guess :dunno:
     
  5. Kcomps

    Kcomps New Member

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    No twink here. 22 year old muscle boy, which I dunno why it matters what I am.
     
  6. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    maybe they are into that type of guy :dunno: and maybe they think they can get away with sexual harassment when's the last time you heard about a man harassing another man...probably never
     
  7. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    .

    Seems like you keep getting into this situation because you are a target for certain types of people. You get hired for a certain reason. If it's because the boss is attracted to you, you might not know, because the boss would keep it to himself.

    The place where you work currently, are you part of a union? If not, is there someone higher than your current boss that you can voice your concerns to?

    If so, and if you really want to keep your job, voice your concerns to someone that has influence over your boss. Clearly state that you are concerned that your employment is at stake because your superior may have a personal conflict with you.

    Here in Canadia, you can appeal why you got laid off your job to the Labour Board if you feel you were fired for an unfair reason. Not sure if the States has something like that.
     
  8. Kcomps

    Kcomps New Member

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    Update: I talked to my boss last night via text and I let him say what he needed to say then asked if I may said what I need to then we can take it from there. I made it clear that I enjoy my job and the people I work with and also working with him (on a employer/employee relationship). That I have looked for other jobs if he feels that there is going to be a problem with me working in the office even though their shouldn't be because he is old enough and should be mature enough to not let his feelings get in the way of business.

    As much as I could tell he was o.k with it just needed to see my persistence in how I felt and it was not going to change no matter what he said or thought.
     
  9. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    stop wearing low cut blouses... sorry
     

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