Need input on a situation v.therightthingtodo

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ripcurl, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. ripcurl

    ripcurl Member

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    OT'ers-

    For my first real thread, I need some advice and I cant really let any of my friends in on this yet to get their feedback.

    Background info:

    I am in a relationship with a girl currently for about the last year. We took two months off but a year more or less. I am pretty happy, not sure if I could see marrying her right now but I am not too sure I could see myself marrying anyone at this point.

    I am 27, she is 24. Her parents are wealthy, so is my family. Her family loves me etc. etc. It's a pretty good situation and it wouldn't be terrible if we at some point settled down.

    Ok the issue.

    6 months ago I went to Italy with my Mom and some pretty fateful shit went down. I was at the top of the Duomo in Florece and this group of three american chicks ask me to get a group photo of them. photo done... small talk... etc. We go our ways.

    Next day I am waiting in line at the Uffizi(3 hour line) and right behind me is the same three chicks. Chicks is not the right word. One girl, her mom, and her aunt. They are from pitt, there is a ton of chemistry and vibes going on the whole hours of line waiting. Fantastic conversation with her and her family.

    There were staying in the same hotel and for the same nights but I never acted on it because at the time I was pretty happy with girl#1.

    During the recent hiatus with girl#1, I told my best friend about girl#2 at the Tom Petty concert and he couldnt believe I didnt make some sort of action esp. based on my past.

    I sent girl#2 a random facebook(we had not spoken since adding each other after the trip) msg saying work would be putting me through pitt(I live in houston) in the near future and would she like to have dinner. She says she would love to and just to let her know. This was about a month ago and the g/f and I are now back together.

    Last night she sends me a msg asking if I am still coming through Pitt and If I want to do dinner.

    BG on girl#2 is she is better looking, a little younger, and well the fate card. I have thought about her a bit since it was done.

    Do I stay or do I go.

    Thanks in advance, I know I am new so constructiveness is of course appreciated. I am sure I am leaving shit out, but I am at work.

    Greg
     
  2. ihaveanevilplan

    ihaveanevilplan Everybody wake up, wake up, it's time to get down Moderator

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    Well what are you trying to get out of girl #2 by going? Sure chemistry and all that but in the end when the weekend is over, life resumes in houston.

    even if things really click for you two, what are you going to do? Throw away a yearlong relationship to start a long distance relationship built on a foundation of 3 hours of being in line together and one great weekend?

    now that youre back with this girl and are happy, i say dont even put yourself in the situation to be tempted.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I personally feel it's completely normal and human at some point in a long term relationship to become intrigued by other people, however, your actions speak very loudly in your situation.

    While you technically haven't done anything really wrong yet you need to think about it from an outsider's perspective. You are in a committed relationship. You keep up an open line of flirtation with a girl you met and were interested in and tell her you will be near her soon and would like to go out. Now you and I both know there is nothing harmless about this so-called dinner. You are going because you are intrigued and wonder what could happen between you two. If your relationship was strong enough right now you would have never even thought to contact this girl let alone set up a date!

    The problem is you really need to think about this. Say you did go and you had this unbelievable dinner with her, chemistry is great, she seems awesome....and then you go home. You live nowhere near this girl and honestly you don't really know anything about her. Everyone seems great on the surface. So what then? You dump your girlfriend for some flirtation 1000's of miles away from you?

    IMO immediate chemistry can be very deceiving and can make you do stupid things, but unfortunately most people have to experience the fuck ups to actually learn this.

    Let me put it this way...if I were you and I was even entertaining the idea of going to a dinner with another man I was interested in I would dump my bf, because where does it end? You made a comment in your post that sounds as if you've had a hard time committing to women in your past. Don't drag out your current relationship if it's not working. It is not working if you want to go on dates with other women in secret.
     
  4. ihaveanevilplan

    ihaveanevilplan Everybody wake up, wake up, it's time to get down Moderator

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    haha we made the same point :h5:
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    great minds :h5:
     
  6. ripcurl

    ripcurl Member

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    i should also add, there is no pitt trip for work.

    This would be strictly for dinner then turn around and come home.

    Thanks for the above responses, I will try to respond when back from lunch.

    g
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Whoa whoa, so you'd literally be going just to see her?

    Yeah, if that's the case abort current relationship.
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    You do sound kind of "blah" about the current relationship. I'm not sure that going after the new girl is the best either, but I would certainly make up my mind prior to going and doing something stupid because you're not sure what you want. Don't date the current and go get extra attention on the side.
     
  9. wilyfem

    wilyfem Guest

    first two responses = .
     
  10. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    if you are even thinking you should still go, you should end it with your gf. she doesnt make you happy enough, or you just are not ready to be tied to one girl. do both of you a favor and break it off

    as for the other girl, go if you want, but dont go with the hopes that something long term will happen. long distance is hard enough to make work when its based on a solid relationship. this relationship would be based on a weekend of a good time in another country, which isnt that solid
     
  11. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    wat?

    do your girl a favor and break things off, you shouldn't be making up fake trips across the state (i dk where pitt is so however far that is) to see another girl.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I think he means Pittsburgh, which is even crazier :eek3:
     
  13. fray

    fray New Member

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    Oh yeah, and stop blaming it on "fate". You saw her a couple times when you were both vacationing in Italy. That's coincidence. Everything else you're making happen. Decide what it is that you want.


    ALSO, you're 27 and dating a 24 year old. Do you really need someone younger? Is that really even a factor? It's like you're just digging for any reason you can find...
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: I would maybe think it would be cute to call it "fate" if she like lived down the road from you or something or magically showed up with a new job at your workplace :rofl: But she's a girl from another part of the country that just stood by you in another country :dunno: I met a ton of Americans when I was in Europe vacationing.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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  16. ripcurl

    ripcurl Member

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    not going.

    thanks for ruining my life haha

    on a serious note - contemplating where my current SO and I are going and if its worth it. Then maybe to Pittsburgh.
     
  17. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: Well at least you are thinking a little clearer :)
     
  18. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    The grass is always greener dude.

    Why don't you plan a special getaway for you and your current gf and then re-discover what it is that you love about her and while you're at it, discover new things to love about her.

    If you find out that the sparks aren't there like they used to be or whatnot then you go from there.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    It's not worth it if you were considering going at all. Do her a favor and set her free.
     
  20. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    IMO that's bs.

    Everyone in here always stresses that relationships take work but then they're the first ones to always suggest to move on whenever someone comes here with a problem, no matter what the problem is. :rofl:

    The guy is approaching the one year mark and he's starting to wonder about his commitment, we've all been there. Because he's wondering if something else could work out with someone else, that means that he should just dump her and move on? I'm not buying it.

    You take steps to figure out what exactly it is that you want and go from there.

    I mean who knows maybe he should break up with her but only he'll know that after he figures that out for himself by being proactive in his decision making.

    Making a blind judgment just because he's second guessing himself a little bit is a load of shit IMO.
     
  21. ripcurl

    ripcurl Member

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    I agree.
     
  22. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    :bowdown:
     
  23. Savage5point0

    Savage5point0 Im an asshole.

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    I guess Im the only one who thinks he should go have dinner with the girl. Your g/f will never know, and what if this other girl really is for you, dont want to let that slip by.
     
  24. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    Sounds like you want to be single my man.

    This feeling and urge WILL NOT go away.

    Act accordingly.
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If in his mind he's really excited that this girl thousands of miles away is fatefully his then he might as well dump his girlfriend now that he is wishy washy with. He's attractive and has no problem talking to women in general. If the girl in Pitt didn't work out he'd be able to find a new girl, no point in disrespecting the current girlfriend for his own kicks.
     

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