LGBT Need help...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by Kitler, Jun 21, 2007.

  1. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    Well I dunno were to start. It is really hard for me to post all of this, but here I go.:noes:

    Lifestory(History):

    Well it all really started when I was 10 I transferred back to my old school, because I was previously in private school. I had changed a lot, and within the first couple weeks turned all of my old friends away saying things like "I Hate sports, etc." Which isn't at all true anymore.
    Well while I was at private school I had gotten really into computers, and was playing way to much video games. Well I had been in a clan (Group of people that play video games togther most of the time they compete with other clans), and having no friends this was my only connection to the world. Well being 10 years old I ended up getting kicked out after being in this particular clan for 6 months which left me lost and very angry. I cursed my old clan out and told them I would make a better one, and this is were my life makes a turn.
    I started trying to make a new clan and I recruited this one guy we'll call him bob. Bob was from texas, and he started talking to me alot... And at that time I did not know what "gay", or what a pedophile was. Anyways I ended up getting a webcam from my schools magazine drive (Go figure) and basically you can figure out what happened next. A couple weeks later I turned bob in, and even though I never met him I was very confused/pissed/depressed, etc. I spiraled out of control calling some girls bitchs right in there faces, doing graffiti on the school, and coming really close to killing myself. Anyways I got treatment and all is supposedly good.


    Important part:
    Anyways fast for to now when I am still recovering, and am very confused sexually. Anyways I feel attracted to boys in my school, but at the same time I am still attracted to some girls.
    However whenever I do you know.
    I usally watch gay ___, but once and awhile I like to watch girls.
    Also when I empty my barrels watching guys I feel tons of regret.

    So im asking the infamous question:

    Am I gay, bi, or straight.

    I am really confused and need some help.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2007
  2. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    How old are you now?
     
  3. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    15

    I'm young I know.:squint:
     
  4. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    I would label as young, confused and possibly bi curious.
     
  5. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    No, I turned him in along time ago.
     
  6. RyRy

    RyRy Active Member

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    My name is RhyRhy and I support this post!
     
  7. dude101

    dude101 New Member

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    :werd: i've been there done that...
     
  8. charles foster kane

    charles foster kane New Member

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    :wiggle: Good good good
     
  9. busydoingnothing

    busydoingnothing A broken man too tough to cry

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    I'm 24 and still asking the same questions :o But at that age, I'd be more apt to go with the flow. I started watching porn on the internet probably around 13, and probably a couple years after that, I started watching gay porn every so often (maybe a few days out of the month). I felt the same way, like, "Why the hell did I just do that?" when I was finished. During those times, the straight porn was mixed in there too. For the most part, the same cycle has continued. I think there's a good chance I'm bi, but I really don't know what level those bi desires exist in (are they just fantasy or is it something I really want to do?).

    The best advice I can give you is to just let everything flow. Try to disconnect yourself from your self-judgments and the judgments of your peers as much as possible. Do your best to neutralize the playing field, so that the idea of being gay is just as cool with you as being straight or bi. If you can get to that point, you can flow the way you're meant to flow.
     
  10. ManyHamsters

    ManyHamsters There are necessary pursuits... but poetry, beauty

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    just gonna echo a few sentiments in here; you're young, and your desires will continually change, be it subtly or drastically throughout your life. do what makes you happy in the NOW.

    if its desiring guys, girls or both, just do it, don't "overthink" it, don't try to conform to pressure from society, do what makes you happy, crush on whoever you feel like at the moment

    i don't want to make any assumptions, but perhaps the "regret" you feel when you :wackit: to guys is actually societal stigma?

    just don't put limits on yourself, take this time to be as honest with yourself as you can... don't live life to make others happy, and don't be afraid to not fit into any neat little boxes in society...

    do what makes you happy Kitler :) labels are for chumps anywho
     
  11. Diesel Freak

    Diesel Freak ♂♂ Closet Crew OT Supporter

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    :werd: x 11tyBILLION

    Everyone is absolutely right on the money. You're young, and you shouldn't over-think things. Do what makes you happy, let the emotions flow, learn about yourself, and most important of all, have a good time.

    Best of luck to you, and I hope you find some comfort and support in our little community here on Off Topic. :)
     
  12. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    .
     
  13. Kitler

    Kitler Fabulously Gay

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    Thanks for all the help.

    I feel alot better about myself now. :)
     
  14. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    I became active early in life (hell, I'm only 25 now), but I had similar emotions promptly following a same-sex derived orgasm. This self-loathing originally manifested for me as instant 'sickness to my stomach', and I would later learn that it was echoed throughout the queer community. Luckily, there comes a time for most of us where we let go of all the bullshit the heteronormative world socializes us to believe, and finally follow our own rainbow/yellow-brick-road to a somewhat happy ending.

    Give it time, and you'll settle into whoever the real you is.
     

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